05/11/2021
Hard conversation butterflies? Yesterday was one of those days. I had to have several hard conversations.
I woke up with that feeling in my stomach, anxious about what was coming.
I used to think that feeling revealed a weakness or insecurity in my leadership, an inability to handle the tough conversation. Over the years, I've learned, if I'm operating out of health, the feeling is an indicator of the weight of the conversation.
Feeling the weight is a good thing, not something to shed.
If you have a hard conversation coming up, here are a few things I try to keep in mind during mine:
1) Get to it. Don't waste time upfront with weather chit-chat and sports recaps. State the main purpose of the conversation clearly, within the first 30-45 seconds.
2) As Brene Brown says, "Clarity is kind." Say it in a way a 2nd grader could understand.
3) Don't over-talk. This is usually an indicator that I'm over-managing possible reactions or feelings. I've been down this road, and it's the fastest way to an uncomfortable and weird conversation.
4) Be human. Feel. Connect. Engage. Stoicism is not a virtue. Gentleness, patience, and kindness are.
I have lots to learn still. What would you add?