01/18/2025
When I was in college I would often joke to my buddies about being dead by 30.
I lived the part for the next 20 years.
Diagnosed with clinical depression in 2009, accompanied with crippling anxiety.
First felony conviction in 2012, DWI number 2 and possession of controlled substance.
By 2017, I was up to 10mg of Xanax daily, that’s 5 WHOLE BARS of Xanax if you’re still doing the math. A handle of Tito’s every other day and an ounce of w**d a week.
In and out of toxic romantic relationships the entire time.
I was a miserable person; hopeless, broken. I had started to believe that I was unlovable, both as a friend and a partner.
I spent my 40th birthday in a quarantined Grayson County Jail cell.
In September of 2021, I was fresh out of prison/treatment and living on a friend's couch. Starting all over at 41 is most definitely a less than ideal situation 😑
Fast forward 3 1/2 years and things are drastically different!
I have my own place (even my own couch! IYKYK 😏)
I now use exercise and meditation curb my depression and anxiety. No mood-stabilizing meds since July of 2020.
I build and nurture healthy relationships instead of pursuing toxics ones.
I figured out how to look in the mirror and love myself. All of myself. The good, bad, the unspeakable.
How to accept the things that have happened, be accountable for the things I’ve done, and how to change my behavior when necessary.
As soon as I took ultimate ownership of my circumstances, that’s when s**t got real.
Now I have the power, not my depression or anxiety or criminal record or whatever bulls**t story I had successfully sold myself for the last 20 years.
I did it, I own it, now I can fix it.
I don’t have to wait on anyone or anything to take action on things that I recognize that I need to work on.
I did it, now what am I gonna do about it?
You gotta do more than just want it tho.
Wake up a lil earlier. Forgive. Read the book. Meditate. Take the class. Exercise.
DO THE WORK.
It will be one of the hardest things you will ever do, but easily the most rewarding.
You won’t be sorry.
Start now.
Be great, TODAY.
Jake