08/04/2026
NECESSARY
Yesterday, I had one of those conversations with a dear friend that begins with everyday life and somehow takes you somewhere much deeper.
We talked about health, caregiving, responsibilities, family, self-care, and the challenge of creating a pace that actually nurtures us—especially within a culture that often rewards constant motion.
She is carrying the weight of caring for her husband while completing another degree in leadership, divinity, and theology.
I shared some of what I have been carrying too.
I have been tending to a few minor health concerns and thinking more intentionally about how to continue caring for myself proactively in this season.
I also shared something that has been sitting quietly in my heart.
When I return to the United States after long stretches of travel, I know I have family. I know I am loved, and I know I am blessed. But I still feel the absence of a place that feels like home during the time I am here.
I also desire something new in my relationship with my adult sons—not necessarily a return to what once was, but something new.
I am ready to move forward, but I am not trying to force the timing. I keep returning to the reminder not to be anxious, but to bring everything to God through prayer, supplication, and thanksgiving.
As we continued talking, I mentioned that I planned to visit my family in Louisiana.
Honestly, I am not especially excited about the drive, the expense, or the disruption. But as I said it aloud, one word surfaced:
NECESSARY.
My siblings and I are getting older. We have already lost some family members over the years. I spend much of my time away, and convenience cannot be the only thing that determines whether I show up.
The drive may be inconvenient.
The cost may be real.
But time matters more.
My friend paused when I said the word necessary and recommended that I listen to Fantasia’s song, “Necessary.”
And the word stayed with me.
Some experiences do not feel good while we are living them. Some responsibilities are not what we would have selected. Some seasons stretch us in places we would rather protect.
But that does not mean they are without purpose.
God can use what is necessary to mature us, redirect us, deepen our relationships, and eventually allow our lived experiences to encourage someone else.
Not everything is meant for public consumption. Some things God gives us just for us.
But I also believe that when we thoughtfully give language to what we have lived, someone else may finally feel seen in what they are carrying.
Perhaps that is part of what our lived experiences are for—not only to shape us, but to become a source of wisdom, encouragement, and hope for someone else.
So I am sitting with this question:
What may be necessary in this season—not because it is easy or convenient, but because it matters?
🎵 “Necessary” — Fantasia featuring Dennis Reed