05/25/2024
When I wake up, someone needs me.
When I go to work, someone needs me.
When I come home, someone needs me.
There are dishes in the sink, clothes in the washer for the 2nd or 3rd time, and a vomited hairball on the floor.
There are pets and strays that need fed, litter boxes and cages to be cleaned, and e-mails and texts that await my response.
I feel like, with each passing day, I have more and more work and less time to relax.
I’m not a bad person, I just have so much on my plate and I’m trying to be as kind and helpful as I can.
If you feel like I’m not meeting your expectations or doing for you what you demand, it’s not because I don’t care. I’m just completely overwhelmed and feel lost in this world.
I’m trying to be the best Vet Tech, pet mom, pet rescuer, Zumba Instructor, friend and mate that I can be. But I can only do so much.
No, I don’t like to ask for help because I don’t want to be a bother. And I’ll try to take as many medications and seek as much medical help as I can to make me a better person in your eyes.
My earned income is enough for me, but not enough for all the good I want to do. My self-talk is negative and my thoughts are always on ways to make myself a better person so people and animals like me.
If I’m not doing the things you ask in the time you’ve given me, it’s not because I’m ignoring you or I don’t care. It’s because I’m trying to do too many things for too many people, I’m only 1 person, and there’s just not enough time in the day.
I’ll trap the strays, feed the animals, choreograph new songs (and a new warmup), clean my house, work on my self-improvement plan, and take care of my physical and financial responsibilities in time. But if I can’t do what you want me to do when and where you want me to do it, please know that it tears me up inside to know that I’ve disappointed you or let you down and I’ll try to make up for it somehow and some time.
Nothing I do is for me. I’m always thinking of other people and all the animals. I am an empath and I feel your frustration with me. But I’m trying. And I care. And I know I need to be better. And I’m working on it. Just, please, know I’m not just doing things for you, but I’m also doing things for others. So, please, be patient and kind. Not just to me, but to everyone else that feels the same way I do.
