03/04/2021
(NOTE: I'm a bad writer, b/c I need to proof this and revise, but I want to at least put it out and keep up)
This morning was agonizing, but different from yesterday, because the weather was cold and wet then. But now this will have some irony with some brief thoughts.
So, yesterday suddenly had a harsh chill in the air and it eventually rained. I knew it when I first woke up; in the morning, I could see the slate skies looking and hinting that the rain was about to come. It really did rain at around noontime. While I was conducting this weather-watch during the day, I was still in my cycling attire and about to prep the Cervelo (P2) for a ride up and down Butterfield Ranch for a nice short ride. That didn't happened though. By the afternoon, I normalized myself and changed into plain clothes, and proceeded to not workout. A tinge of sadness and apathy hung over during the day.
Then today, I actually woke early at 7:30 and was motivated to workout. This was followed by the strangest and yet profound thing happened. When I had arose out of bed, getting ready to go, before any effort to getting ready to run, or maybe ride (because I'm in a period of trying to run more than ride) I got this move or message from my kishkas. To put into words, it was telling me, Don't. (Then again that was one word.) A "No" would have sufficed, but this was not was I was expected, nor was it what I wanted to hear.
This was a tough test in obedience. Why? Why not go out? I dunno? Today was so much better than yesterday! It is such a nice day today with warmer air, and enticing pre-spring skies that are inviting for a good, firm, and perfect workout for the day! And on top of that! Come to think of it, I was actually motivated to get some miles in a workout. Ultimately, I am more sure why I was not suppose to go; quickly I could only surmise that maybe because that motivation was to be used to get other things done.
This turn of events (or directions) I took all in stride. As I thought of missing out on a good workout, I thought how I could catch up with other things and on the blog entries as you can see.
This is all right. Sometimes you have to listen to you body to know - when to workout when you don't feel like it, or in this case not workout when you do feel like you should. I choose to listen and obey.
Maybe this was meant to be a form of sacrifice unto G-d? Maybe I needed to not desperate? Maybe there was some other test, if I was willing to make the sacrifice? Its something worth learning.
I hope for a time to come - a time that I was reminded of as I saw a glimpse of at the store today. At the store I saw some families shopping and a child or two, expressing that confused, wondering look that they have when they are at that age of curiosity. And it took me back to some races I could remember from a long time ago. Running the race course, many people would be cheering and excited, and then children and their wide eyes and open mouths looking in wonder (just like the toy section of the store), reminded me of one of the greatest joys of running. For me that is one of the joys. How they would be in awe of the sights they see and the runners that they see stride on.
During this inactivity again, like many times before; inactivity by choice and by circumstance, I still hope for future races, with all its race day joy and wonder. Hopefully where I will see again little children on the sidelines of the course, with their families cheering and their big eyes, wide mouths, and wonderful expressions, and when they see all the runners racing by they see all the wonderment. And maybe with that they will become little runners or triathletes.
I see that wonder that children have, for anything that is new and spectacular, and I hope they will be inspired to do their best, challenge themselves, and receive the joy that is running a race, or just running outside on a nice day.
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