08/20/2026
Schoolâs barely started and your teenâs already pulling away, and you can feel it.
Theyâre quieter, giving you one word answers, disappearing into their room the second they get home.
You ask âhow was your day?â and get nothing back.
So you ask again, a little more worried this time, and somehow that makes it worse.
I get it, been there myself. Turns out the questionâs the problem. âWhat happened todayâ shows we care (to us) but to them it feels like an interrogation.
And when a teen feels interrogated, they shut down. Not because somethingâs wrong.
Usually they just donât even know what theyâre feeling yet, so what are they supposed to say?
Hereâs whatâs actually worked for the parents I coach:
Skip the question. Just notice out loud instead: âYouâve seemed a little off since Tuesday.â Then stop talking.
If they donât want to talk, just say âokay, Iâm here whenever.â Leave it there.
And if you do need to ask something, keep it small enough to actually answer, like âwas today better or worse than yesterday?â
Do it side-by-side too, not face to face. Car rides, walks, doing dishes. Way less pressure, way more talking.
Youâre not messing this up, youâre one small shift away from getting them back.
âźď¸Got a free framework in my bio for reconnecting with a teen whoâs checked out, go grab it.