08/25/2024
I want to talk about imposter syndrome for a moment. The scuba industry is brutal, especially when it comes to tech and cave diving. Everyone has an ego, and most people want to be worshipped before they give you the time of day or listen to you. I'm not pretty or young, so I don't get a whole lot of respect from anyone. It used to bother me up until probably the last year when I finally became "f--k y'all. I would rather be by myself."* But because of the bad experiences, even though I have the certs and training and experience and because I don't have my own people, I have moments that I still doubt myself.
But I absolutely shouldn't. Take this reg, for example. If you look at it, a trained eye might notice it's a little different. I'm taking a course this week and needed to shorten and change the intake. I've never opened my regs up- I leave that for the shop tech but you know, I can fix computers, cars, the fuel pump and electrical on a motorcycle so c'mon, why wouldn't I be able to do this? So I looked it up, got my tools out, and asked a question on a forum and viola! I did it!! I was a little worried I'd break it or it wouldn't work, but I just tested it, and it's fine!
So what I AM saying isdont let how other people treat you dull your shine and don't let them gatekeep you from what you want to do. You can't make people respect you or like you, but so long as you know you put in the work and did no harm to anyone?
F**k 'em. Keep on keeping on and just forget about them.
*except when I went tech diving with I had SO much fun diving with them, I still think about it and hope to go back. There is ego there too- all tech divers have egos (even me)- but it wasn't the kind that made me not want to dive with them. It was the kind "I know my s**t" a day that's okay. I seriously keep thinking about some of those deep dives out there when I'm in a bad mood and it's on my list to get back out there even if I am not a fan of the island itself. I'm too old for the shenanigans that goes on after hours there. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
The deep dives on GiliT though? 💯💯💯