03/14/2026
𝐋𝐞𝐭’𝐬 𝐓𝐚𝐥𝐤 𝐀𝐛𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐈𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐏𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐧𝐞𝐫 𝐕𝐢𝐨𝐥𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐂𝐡𝐫𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐚𝐧 𝐂𝐨𝐦𝐦𝐮𝐧𝐢𝐭𝐲.
Intimate Partner Violence (IPV) is horrific in any context, but within the Christian community, it often carries a particular layer of complexity. Abuse can be physical, spiritual, sexual, psychological, emotional, or financial...and it is more common than many people want to admit. More than 1 in 3 women and more than 1 in 6 men in the US have experienced contact sexual violence, physical violence, and/or stalking by an intimate partner in their lifetime.
𝐀𝐛𝐮𝐬𝐞 𝐢𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞.
𝐂𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐫𝐨𝐥 𝐢𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐩.
𝐅𝐞𝐚𝐫 𝐢𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐬𝐮𝐛𝐦𝐢𝐬𝐬𝐢𝐨𝐧.
𝐒𝐢𝐥𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞 𝐢𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐡𝐨𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐞𝐬𝐬.
Too many people in Christian spaces have been taught to stay in what God never asked them to survive.
They've heard:
• 𝘑𝘶𝘴𝘵 𝘱𝘳𝘢𝘺 𝘮𝘰𝘳𝘦.
• 𝘚𝘶𝘣𝘮𝘪𝘵 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘵𝘳𝘶𝘴𝘵 𝘎𝘰𝘥.
• 𝘛𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘪𝘴 𝘫𝘶𝘴𝘵 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘤𝘳𝘰𝘴𝘴 𝘵𝘰 𝘣𝘦𝘢𝘳.
• 𝘓𝘰𝘷𝘦 𝘤𝘰𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘴 𝘢 𝘮𝘶𝘭𝘵𝘪𝘵𝘶𝘥𝘦 𝘰𝘧 𝘴𝘪𝘯𝘴.
• 𝘋𝘰𝘯’𝘵 𝘭𝘦𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘥𝘦𝘴𝘵𝘳𝘰𝘺 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘯𝘦𝘴𝘴.
• 𝘐𝘧 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘭𝘦𝘢𝘷𝘦, 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘤𝘢𝘯 𝘥𝘦𝘴𝘵𝘳𝘰𝘺 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘤𝘩𝘶𝘳𝘤𝘩.
Let me say this plainly:
𝐆𝐨𝐝 𝐝𝐨𝐞𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐫𝐞𝐪𝐮𝐢𝐫𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐭𝐨 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐲 𝐢𝐧 𝐚𝐛𝐮𝐬𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐟𝐚𝐢𝐭𝐡.
Yes, I believe in the covenant of marriage. I don't advocate for death at the hand of a partner.
You can pray and leave.
You can honor God and stay safe.
You can have faith and tell the truth.
You can love God and set boundaries.
You can choose to stay, but stay in truth.
Violence in marriage is wrong.
Spiritual abuse is abuse.
Weaponizing Scripture to keep someone trapped is evil.
The church has not always handled this well. But hear me clearly:
𝐘𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐧𝐞𝐬𝐬 𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐧𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐛𝐞 𝐮𝐬𝐞𝐝 𝐚𝐠𝐚𝐢𝐧𝐬𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐬𝐚𝐟𝐞𝐭𝐲.
If you are experiencing IPV, seek safety, support, and trauma-informed help. Trauma-informed clergy and counselors exists… I’m one.
You are not weak.
You are not faithless.
And you are not alone.
