04/19/2021
When I was 6 years old, I remember playing with my cousins at my Aunt Babe’s house, and there was this fence that we were all climbing over. Chances are we weren’t supposed to be climbing that fence, but we were kids and so, we did. This wasn’t one of those nice dainty white picket fences. It was a metal chain linked fence that was sharp at the top. Clearly meant to keep people out and little children from climbing over it. But in true Chantel fashion, I managed to hop on over the fence, but not without some type of accident. On my right hand, below my index finger my skin got caught on top of the fence and the sharp part went through my hand. I SCREAMED and I bled, and I SCREAMED and bled. Now there was not a trip to the hospital, not immediately, just some peroxide and a bandage wrapped around my hand. I continued to play with my cousins, and they checked on me ever so often, asking was I ok. I said “yes, I’m great. Let’s keep playing,” as the blood just trickled on down my hand and through the bandage. I was in pain. My finger was throbbing, my insides were dying and I wanted my mama. I wanted I cry. But I had to save face and be strong, especially because I was playing with not only my cousins, but my boy cousins and my brother. On top of that, I was the oldest of them all. They were not going to see me down, lol.
I was masking the pain. Many of us do it, and ways we don’t even recognize. But understand, that saying you’re ok when you’re dying inside, bleeding through the bandages, is only you masking it. We cover up pain by using drugs or alcohol, putting up walls, inflicting pain on oursleves in some physically abusive ways, burying ourselves with work, or anything we can think of to avoid the pain. We just know we want it to go away.
I want to encourage you, and let you know that you can make it through the painful situations that you will face in life. It’s not always going to be easy, in fact, it sucks. But you have to make the choice to keep going, moment by moment, day by day. That’s what getting through that pain looks like, getting up everyday and dealing.
Whatever you are going through, you can make it. You will make it!