06/19/2026
Good stuff.
🚨 FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE 🚨
It has come to our attention that with the dramatic increase in screen time and electronic device usage, there have been several reports of children arriving at our parks and standing in complete confusion.
Symptoms include:
☀️ Uncertainty when exposed to direct sunlight
🌳 Difficulty identifying trees and grass
🤔 Asking, "What's the Wi-Fi password?"
🏃 Lack of familiarity with recreational activities that don't require charging
To help combat this growing issue, the Byron Park District has installed Emergency Wiffle Ball Equipment at both ball diamonds at Blackhawk Park.
The equipment is FREE for anyone to use. We simply ask that all items be returned to their holders when you're finished so the next generation can experience this ancient form of entertainment.
Let's get back outside like it's 1997... or at least 2007. Put down the screens, grab a bat, and remember that "going viral" used to mean getting tagged out at home plate.
Sincerely,
Nick Warrner
Executive Director
Byron Park District
