08/18/2025
I spent a couple of years maintaining my magical goal weight— the weight that was going to being me eternal happiness and help me win all the weightlifting medals🙄
Not only was I always low energy, I was weak tired and moody. I had no period, and I used to run to the bathroom mirror multiple times per day just to see if my abs were still there.🤦🏻♀️
I wasn’t really living my best life back then, but everyone sure loved to compliment me for how great I looked. Didn’t anyone realize I also had a big patch of vitiligo that wouldn’t disappear because my immune system wasn’t strong enough to fight it?! 🤡
Well thankfully, in 2018 I made a decision to let myself gain some weight. And then at some point I stopped worrying about the weight on the scale. Then I stopped worrying about the weight on the bar, and that’s when I really started to have the most fun in the gym I’ve ever had!! These days, I’m focused on balancing my strength training with cardio and good movement, and I’m not working toward any specific gym or body related goal. I can not honestly tell you that this won’t change, I’d still like to get back to weightlifting, maybe do another powerlifting meet someday, and definitely run another marathon in the future. But none of those things align with my spirit right now. So feeling strong, capable and generally fit are my only agenda items these days, and that’s okay. Eventually I’ll do one or all of the above, or maybe I won’t. It’s truly okay either way. 🤩
There’s lots of pressure on women in their forties to have it all figured out. And to make sure we look good while doing it. At some point you realize it’s all bu****it and you pull yourself out of the matrix. It doesn’t mean you give up, it actually means you’re finally taking true control. You make yourself happy doing what works for you, and only you. You write your own code.
What about you? Does any of this resonate with you? Comment below:
