01/01/2023
New Year’s Message 2023
Ego?
As the Founder of The World Tang Soo Do Association, Grandmaster Jae Chul Shin, once said, “Ego is the #1 killer of good Black Belts.” This wisdom not only fits our Tang Soo Do pursuits, but many other aspects of our lives, as well.
Consider those things that other people do that produce anxiety, distress, frustration, or even anger in us—-a stranger, a coworker, a loved one doing something we wish they wouldn’t or not doing something we wish they would. Why do other’s actions have such an influence over the way we think and feel? It may be because our Ego decides such an action is an insult, an affront, or is disrespectful to us in some way. Read that again, our Ego decides…
If that is correct, it’s not the action itself, nor the intent of the other person that makes it so. It is the way we take that act. It’s the way we interpret the action. It’s the way we perceive what they did. WE decide that, not the other, not the action. Certainly not the latter, after all, action has only the value we give it.
My favorite example is when you’re driving down the highway and a person speeds up to squeeze into the space ahead. A space not exactly safe in terms of the proper following distance we all learned about in Driver’s Ed. All that hurry (and peril) in order to get that extra three feet in front of you and arrive at their destination a few seconds earlier. Sheesh…
What is our typical reaction to this? You certainly can answer that yourself. And you can guess mine by the way I phrased that. Anyway, is that reaction because of what that person did or because of how we perceive what they did? Did their action really have anything—-anything at all—-to do with me? Did they consciously wish to offend or anger me or is that just how I take what they did?
If the latter, how can we limit this Ego-filled reaction? How can we respond less like that?
Perhaps one way is by asking a simple question when we observe such a reaction, “Is this my Ego talking?” Or just ask yourself, “Ego?”
If the answer is yes, great! We can recognize that and work to improve it. If the answer is no…maybe we should ask that question again.
Ego?
Happy 2023. Tang Soo!