09/07/2026
Liking yourself in a vacuum is easy. Itās when you are out in the world that it can feel complicated (for me, anyway).
I run a business. I take care of myself. I try to be a good person and wife and mom. On paper Iāve done the work. Iāve untangled yeaaaarssss of self doubt to get to a point where I can sit in a room by myself and genuinely think: I like who I am.
Iāll admit that I thought that meant I was done. I thought that my version of success and my fight for self love would make me immune to feeling unlikable.
INSERT BUZZER SOUND HERE -> EHHHHHHHHGGGHHHHHHH
I often feel like an outsider. In so many ways I know that itās a product of choices Iāve made. I know that. I donāt want to be the outsider, though, and I kind of get this out-of-body feeling. Like Iām suddenly floating above myself, panicking that Iām coming off *wrong*. Saying the wrong things, saying too much, not saying enough. WRONG WRONG WRONG. In five seconds I go from feeling like a grounded adult to an absolute imposter. Love that for me. Iām a work in progress
Thatās it. Thatās really the gist of the post.
And I sit here and judge myself for it. I thought if my self-worth was real, I wouldnāt care this much. PLOT TWIST - I care SO MUCH.
ANYWAY, Iām sharing this because Iām reminding myself that performance isnāt the same as connection. Building a business or a body proves you can execute but it doesnāt automatically mean you feel known or understood all the time (which is probably ok, I guess?).
Liking who you are when youāre safe is part of it but I think the work isnāt ever really done, in trying to become better, more connected, grounded versions of ourselves.
So I guess Iām just trying to talk about the messier isolated parts of myself instead of just posting the highlight reel that weāve come to expect from social media. I often feel disconnected so Iām just trying to gain some connection back? Processing in real time here, folks. What a delight.
Iām human! Be human with me. Love you - happy Monday, happy Labor Day, happy humanness.