06/18/2026
Dear Inventor of Bra Inserts,
I have questions.
First, who hurt you?
Second, what woman looked at your prototype and said, “Yes. This is excellent. Let’s make sure these foam pads permanently migrate to one side every time the garment is washed.”
Because that’s exactly what happens.
I place my sports bra in the washing machine with two inserts, each peacefully occupying its designated hemisphere.
I remove it from the dryer to discover both inserts have apparently moved into a studio apartment behind my left b**b.
Now begins the ritual.
Through a tiny opening approximately the size of a paper cut, I must somehow insert two fingers and perform what can only be described as microscopic orthopedic surgery.
I push.
I pull.
I pinch.
I negotiate.
Eventually, one insert is relocated to the opposite side, but new questions emerge:
Is it upside down?
Right side up?
Sideways?
Folded like a taco?
Has it somehow achieved a fourth dimension?
No one knows.
Certainly not me.
So I put the bra on and hope for the best.
The only guarantee in life is death, taxes, and discovering after you’ve left the house that one bra insert is sitting vertically like a surfboard.
What amazes me most is that this product survived the design process.
Because if men had to deal with this in their underwear, there would have been congressional hearings by 1987.
There would be an international task force.
Engineers would be involved.
Someone from NASA would be consulted.
Yet women have simply accepted this fate and continue performing foam-pad archaeology every laundry day.
I would like to formally request that whoever invented removable bra inserts spend the rest of eternity trying to untangle Christmas lights while wearing oven mitts.
Respectfully,
A Very Tired Woman
Who Just Wanted Clean Laundry
(An original post from yours truly at Betty's Box BC. Please Follow and Share if you, too, demand better from our underwear!!!!)