Robert Gardner Wellness

06/07/2026

This page will soon switch over to Next Level Pain Relief®

If you want to keep track of my poker playing, video games and cooking show along with all my wellness ventures like liquor and beer tastings you can do that at Robert Gardner Vice.

I was thinking the other day that of all the things I've done in my life when I consider what good ideas I had it was learning to cook. Most of my life has revolved around good food and hanging out with people over meals.

Growing up in Louisiana I was steeped in gumbo, jambalaya, crawfish etouffee, boudin and a host of southern meals. As I grew and later decided to be vegetarian for a stint I kept going to restaurants around town and exploring things like India, Thai, Chinese, Ethiopian, Jamaican, Vietnamese and beyond.

My palette expanded and I started drawing connections between west African cuisine the food I grew up with and then beyond. Post college I'd often bring a loaf of banana bread or something I'd made so folks had something to snack on when we were hanging out on a Saturday night.

As per usual in Baton Rouge on a Saturday we'd drink pass joints around and talk the night away. Around Christmas I'd been buying cookie cutters at thrift stores. They came in all shapes and sizes. I grabbed a handful and someone told me they wanted gingerbread cookies. The kind you make the gingerbread houses with.

I remember it was ginger, flour, molasses, sugar, salt and a few other ingredients I think maybe some nutmeg. After I made the dough I realized I could roll up a bunch of it in parchment paper in the freezer to use at a later time. Since our friends were hanging out that Saturday I grabbed the roll....slices off some dough, rolled it out and used those cookie cutters to make all the standard shapes. Xmas trees, Reindeer or whatever.

After I baked them I needed frosting. I figured powdered sugar and some milk/water would do but as always...I wanted to push the boundaries. The gingerbread isn't overwhelmingly sweet. The frosting is a nice touch and since it had ginger, hey..what about wasabi?

The powdered sugar is extremely fine as is wasabi powder. If I put wasabi in the powdered sugar it'll likely blend and turn slightly green and that slight wasabi horseradish kick will be a pleasant spiciness.

Done! Iron chef be damned. Roll that joint I'll be there Saturday.

As I decorated I tried making shapes or following the edges and doing it like you're supposed to but after so much L*d and mushrooms as a philosophy student in college I decided to make it more Phish. More Salvador Dali...more Basquiat.

I'd clipped the edge of a ziploc to use as a piping tool and start making abstract shapes and swirls. Lines on an edge that faded off into nothingness like a good tweezer jam.

I played. I had a good time.

Everyone at the party oohed and aahed over just a little creativity. It's a small gesture but food brings people together. Being able to stack art on top? Oh that's self expression. All my friends loved them and the best part was no one had ever had anything like it.

How the hell did you think to add wasabi?

I don't know. I just do. I do the same with health and wellness. Nothing is more fun than expansion. A new idea expressed in a unique way even if that's through a piping bag.

06/05/2026

I've not been able to get Jason Crandell Yoga on my podcast yet but he's the one teacher whose work always appeals to me. He doesn't just give answers he asks deeper questions about what the practices become in the west and we as teachers help students grow.

Yoga is a liberation teaching that frees us from our limiting beliefs.

Teachers should provide students with the tools, support, and techniques they need to become more autonomous.

Yoga teachers should build agency, not reduce it.

The goal should always be helping your students become more empowered and independent.

05/28/2026

Only 4 spots left for the Next Level Pain Relief® Level 1 training in Austin on July 12–13.

This class is designed to help you build a stronger foundation in pain relief work through hands-on training for the table and mat. I give clear sequences and practical application you can immediately begin using with clients.

We’ll be working through table and mat-based approaches exploring how movement, stretching, positioning, and pressure all connect together to create more effective pain relief sessions.

If you’ve been looking for a different approach beyond traditional relaxation-focused massage, this class is a great place to start.

If you want more detailed instruction, feedback and ongoing support while building your own mat-based practice, I’m also opening a small apprenticeship-style training group for local students.

Private one-on-one apprenticeship training is $150/month.

Small group apprenticeship training is $100/month per person and limited to 4 total students so everyone gets hands-on attention and space to work.

The goal is to meet regularly over the course of a year so you can continue refining your skills, ask questions, troubleshoot client issues, and steadily build the kind of practice you actually want long term.

DM me about apprenticeship so I can interview you and make sure we're a good fit.

Next Level Pain Relief® Level 1 Hands-On Class Earn Your Certification & Transform Your Practice! Join us for an immersive two-day workshop designed to elevate your skills and empower you to deliver effective, client-centered pain relief. Class teaches you to perform simple techniques on a tabl...

05/22/2026

Are we spa or are we medical?

As I travel and teach I see various facets of massage culture in the U.S. Just like food and music, as you go around the U.S. the cultural climate is made up of nuances based on where you are, where those therapists trained and sets of laws and schools in the region. I've got the honor of going into these regions to see this at work but if you only study in one place? You never really get to see the nuances.

I live in Austin, TX and Austin is progressive....for Texas. It's not NYC or San Francisco. I have a practice here having moved around 2010 and I've been here ever since trying to lift the massage community up with my work and teaching.

It's very common in my Level 1 NLPR class to get a student who's doing the techniques on a mat the second day and they stop and make this face, this I'm thinking face and ask, "where can I get a job doing this in Austin?"

I mention a few places that I believe allow mat work and proceed to tell them that in full expression? They must work for themselves.

There's a little sadness to this. They see that it's more effective. They see that it's easier to deliver but they can't figure out how against the grain a mat based practice is in a table based industry.

Years ago I taught a class and here were the limits I was given. Table. 6 hours. I asked the students what was bothering them and they all flailed and said, "our hands and arms are killing us.."

I worked on them. Showed them the techniques and proceeded to solve the problems right on the table right where they were and they were doing cartwheels by the end of class. I'd americanized Thai massage to a western audience of people in central Texas.

I left feeling good. Class went well.

A few weeks later I met my contact and he said, "there's a problem. The boss doesn't like what you taught."

I paused and asked him if he was using what I taught to help clients rapidly out of pain. He answered yes. I asked if he was using far less effort to accomplish that goal. He said yes. I then asked if he was getting higher rebook rates, higher tips and making more $ for himself and the owner and he said yes.

I looked at him and said, "then your boss wants something that's ineffective. Let him teach that."

I walked out. I never looked back.

I'll quit before I water down what I teach to fit a profoundly sick society.

Are we spa? Does our industry involve human trafficking? Can we work differently? Can we solve the problems in a new way that benefits clients and ourselves? Can we create practices that lead to cooperatives that benefit the members and the employee owners at the same time?

I believe that's the case. I created it. I'm just working to build up enough therapists who have the gumption to push it through.

Clothes on. Mat based. One public room. All working collaboratively and within view of the public. Safer for women, all concept of inappropriate removed community bodywork to help people in our towns.

It's possible, you just have to work with me to keep creating.

Does it look like a spa? Eh, somewhat. It's nice clean cozy and comfortable but it's halfway between a yoga studio and a massage facility. The style? It looks different. It presents on camera well. Many will go, "what is that?"

I just smile and say it's Next Level.

See you for a class soon. I've got national offers coming up and if you can't make in person I've got in depth online training coming asap.

05/08/2026

It's only 2500.

I recall many years ago at the Thai Massage Jam some murmurs from local therapists who said, "Robert and those jams are the reason there are so many unlicensed practitioners."

???

How does a partner massage class lead to unlicensed activity?

What I post on social media is calm compared to the conversations I have privately while drinking fine tequila blanco provided by the hard working people of Mexico.

It's estimated that more than 2,500 illicit massage businesses are operating in Texas. https://www.kxan.com/news/crime/austin-massage-parlor-shut-down-due-to-illicit-and-illegal-practices/?utm_medium=social&utm_source=facebook_KXAN_News

05/05/2026

I saw an entire industry full of tables and decided my teachers from southeast asia were correct. I build a mat based practice.

Let's leave it there. That's enough to be a pariah.

My practice is mine. My clients adore me. My students have conversations with me privately that astound. "Robert, this ladies plantar fasciitis went away after a single session from what you taught me. Why do they fight you so much?"

There are reasons. There's been debate amongst my friends about whether I'm on the autism spectrum. I'm neurospicy. A long time friend essentially argued with me about this and I said, "I've been in counseling most of my adult life. I asked me counselor Directly if I was on the autism spectrum and he denied it."

My friend said, "I don't care what you counselor said. Fire him. I know you and you mask inordinately well but you're as neurospicy as they come."

Am I? Eh. I exist on a rock in the milky way galaxy hurdling through space but the controversy in the midst of an op**te epidemic and a broken healthcare system that lacks connection is me, on a mat, saying, "Nah, we just have to provide connection that's clothes on, done publicly and is set free to anyone who wants to learn."

It's simple. The future is mat based.

I'll keep building. If you want to help clients out of pain I can show you how in a way that's effortless to deliver. It's easy. It also requires that you question authority.

05/02/2026

https://youtube.com/shorts/erSpxOY_E9s?si=R3QKP6iyd9Rgmeil

303 likes, 12 comments. "If you have Raynaud's, this may surprise you"