11/27/2022
‼️ TRIGGER WARNING: No one speaks about this, so I will 🤷🏽♀️. Growing up, whenever I saw Black women prioritize themselves, 90% of the time, it was after they were hurt by a man, resentful of their sacrifices for their families, or when they were much older after some tough lessons that forced them to prioritize themselves. I rarely saw them do so without guilt or shame. As a result, I watch us project this on our daughters, partners, friends, & on the internet & it irritates my soul but, it mainly confirms my own fears.
I always feared I would end up like that. It haunted me for most of my life. I have watched generations of women give of themselves for years & I never saw a genuine peace within them. So, I decided to build myself into a machine & operated that way for years.
The thing that completely shifted that reality was when I was working full-time AND running my business which meant Skye was in daycare. Her daycare was pi***ng me off. So I took her out & kept trying to work full-time from home but then my baby was spending more time in front of the tv than with me. It immediately hit me, that these machines we build ourselves into
(because of what we grew up seeing), aren't always what's always best for their development. I had a blessed enough life that allowed me to choose my schedule, & still do what I love which was to create content, run an Airbnb business & be present in the home with my squad.
I have nothing against women that choose daycare. Some women only have daycare as an option. My mom was one of them. & baby, I THRIVED in daycare because I was aware & gifted before I even got there. I see that in Skye. I am sure she would be just fine in daycare as I was. But I don't want fine, I want intentional. I had to learn that that is okay too.
For the first 3-4 years of her life, I want to nourish her body with fresh foods, build her brain beyond the surface & teach and model the concept of emotional intelligence.
If I remained a machine, I don't think I would've been able to intentionally do this.
Now that causes those fears haunting me to DOUBLE & TRIPLE but I figured out the key. It's in the comments after this long ass caption 😇👇🏾
