06/18/2026
Sharing a brief blog article I wrote about how a couple with entrenched differences & challenges can have huge breakthroughs in their relationship with one small realization:
"At the very core, we influence what is going on in our lives & relationships by who we believe ourselves to be deep down.
Neville said: “Change your conception of yourself and you will automatically change the world in which you live. Do not try to change people; they are only messengers telling you who you are. Revalue yourself and they will confirm the change.” 💕
Time & time again, I have worked with couples who had the same challenges year after year - and I was only able to help them make lasting change in their relationship if each took on changing "their conception” of themselves!
I’ll give an example: if a wife subconsciously believes she is “damaged goods” due to her childhood trauma - and her husband formed a hidden belief in his childhood that he is not lovable for who he is - and must perform & be perfect in order to be loved, then this is a set-up for some big clashes. The husband might try to change the wife to be more “perfect” & the wife will then have her belief of being "damaged goods" further reinforced to the point of wanting out of the relationship to not have this constant source (her husband) of feeling badly about herself.
They can stop the madness if they both recognize that they are operating from faulty unconscious beliefs about themselves, do some transformational work around what caused their younger selves to adopt these beliefs that are not true - and go about the business of discovering the greatness of who they REALLY are. Once both have done this transformation, repairing the relationship can take place with ease and sincere love coming from their conscious superb adult aware selves."
