10/11/2023
ATTENTION + ALLOWANCE = MIRACLE
I recently had the opportunity to participate in a demonstration and discussion of “Resonant Attention” with practitioner Stella Osorojos Eisenstein (who gets credit for the title of this post). In a nutshell, this form of healing views the body as a system rather than a collection of isolated parts, and it recognizes that symptoms appearing in one area are often the result of what’s happening in another area (and “areas” can include the non-physical, such as an emotional or spiritual experience, as well as the physical).
According to this theory, a practitioner (and we can all be practitioners, even for ourselves) facilitates healing by attending to whatever area or areas they’re led to, and then allowing the body (and/or the nonphysical) to do what it needs to do. The practitioner trusts that the body has access to wisdom, along with the ability to heal itself, which can be supported, but never forced.
This healing is often experienced by the person being healed as a crescendo of energy - it rises, peaks, and then falls again in “bubbles” as each block is released and energy begins circulating more freely. The practitioner is often first led to one area, and then another, and then another, with each area opening before the next area is processed.
And the order matters - a person may only be able to process one area when they’re sufficiently resourced, which happens through the processing of a different area. But the order is not something that can be predicted or controlled by the practitioner - it simply emerges with attention and allowance.
And from this attention and allowance, miracles flow.*
And now to relate this to conflict…
Conflict conversations often begin with a focus on one topic or problem before quickly moving to another - maybe something that happened last week or 10 years ago - and then to another topic, and then perhaps back to the first again. The content, tone, and order of the conversation are almost always unpredictable to the mediator, and possibly to the parties themselves.
As mediators, we often feel pulled to control the conversation in an effort to help. But another way we can help is to simply give the conversation our attention and allowance - to follow the parties along their path. To trust that the parties know - perhaps unconsciously - what areas of the conflict need to be processed before they are empowered enough to handle the next area. In other words, to trust that the parties know where the energy is stuck, and what needs to be released before it can flow elsewhere.
So we can attend to the conversation as it is unfolding, moment by moment, and allow it to flow wherever and however it needs to.
People in conflict who are given this type of support often experience intense emotions as they move through different areas of the conflict. When these energy "bubbles" are simply given attention and allowance, the parties are able to work through their emotions and leave feeling calmer, stronger, and more connected to each other. People who begin saying they don't even want to be in the same room with each other leave hugging and laughing together. It doesn't always happen this way, but it does happen.
Attention + Allowance = Miracle
If this all feels pretty abstract, you can learn more about what this actually means in practice by watching “The What, Why, and How of Transformative Mediation” here:
https://youtu.be/IfdArlcqwhI?si=asr1-kjIwt6WjM3T
And if you’d like to learn more about resonant attention and the healing work of Stella Osorojos Eisenstein, you can do so here:
https://www.resonantattention.com/
*Stella noted that other forms of healing or interventions may also be necessary or helpful at times, and that Resonant Attention can support those forms of healing so they can do their work more effectively, as well.
Photo by Lina Trochez on Unsplash
