04/28/2023
I was dealing with real everyday life survival issues for the last several years, but I’m back now and I hope to make this site where people who visit can find some value. I have learned that life survival skills is not just making up a bug out bag or moving off the grid, defending your life or that of your family from home invaders, it’s so much more.
Those issues definitely have their place, but so do real personal life or death issue and the support needed and provided by family and friends is crucial to help you make it through those types of moments.
I had my first diagnosis in 2016-17 of squamous cell carcinoma of the throat. I had a major surgery and required 7 months of rehab before I could return to my job as an Cardiac Sonographer. But, thanks to the support of my wife especially, and other family and friends survived those difficult months.
I was alive and with my family, it was just my voice was changed into a garbed mess. It got better over the next 4 years. At least people could understand me, but my joke punchlines suffered. Some people thought I had a hearing loss, and at least one person said out load to one of my co-workers, does he have a developmental disability ? He didn’t quite use those words.
That might hurt, but I knew that the restructuring of my throat and tongue changed me, but I was happy and content working and being with my family. There was another change that brought changes that ultimately resulted in my retirement after 17 years on the job.
I wasn’t able to sustain my weight at 210 pounds and in the next 6-8 months, I dropped 40-50 pounds. My diet consisted of a very tiny portion of food, 8-10 bites and liquid nutrition, Boost to provide me with the required food intake. But, let me tell you, even though I only had a few bites at meals, they were so enjoyable. The minor change in my throats pathway was a small difficulty compared to the alternative. Life had changed for me and my family, but I just continued to survive through those difficult early times of tracheotomy, a month of intensive proton radiation, digestion adjustments, etc.
There were adjustments for my family as well that I wasn’t aware of. My daughters were 4 & 5 years old when I first went into the hospital, so about 3-4 years later, we all were watching some early home movies. We enjoyed them, but what I didn’t realize the changes by daughters had in their life.
My eldest daughter mentioned that she didn’t even recognize my old, normal voice. She only knew my new speech pattern. We loss something else too; we no longer had dinner as a family. Eating was no longer a family event for me, it was a necessary procedure. Even through I got the majority of my food from a glass, I still missed the occasional Big Mac or holiday meals. I eventually adjusted. But, today, when my girls are picky eaters they do not have me as an example. Yeah, I know I’m whining.
I didn’t let it get me down, because for those the months on pain meds, adjusted to where most people could understand me, still have problems with my punchlines though. I had survived. It did’t require stored food or communication devices or weapons to protect against a physical assault. I survived, adjusting to my new normals and those tormenting thoughts of death, or the burden you bring to others, or the depressive thoughts that are only intensified by the pain meds.
I started this site in January of 2020, and having a young family and feeling like I was back to a new normal, I wanted to share with people ideas to help us deal with issues related to the pandemic and other existential threats that are potentially in our further.
The site was coming along well by the summer of 2020, I was about to put the finishing touches on it. My father who was 89 and not in the best of health was infected corona virus late June and he pasted away on 3 July of that year. I had come to read to him and spend time with him in the last days of June and early July. We didn’t know if his diagnosis. We thought he just wasn’t good due to his bladder/prostrate cancer.
When he pasted, I wasn’t as sad as I thought I would be. It could have been that I came down with COVID-19 then and spent a little more than a month recovering. Actually though, I was happy for him. His last years were good ones for him. He had macular degeneration and was legally blind, so he spent his days in his chair in our kitchen listening to the tv or sleeping. His cancer was deemed inoperable, but I know he felt pain, even though he didn’t admit it to me.
That recovery period limited my work on this site, but by the middle of August, before I could dig back into my work, I found blood in my urine. It wasn’t slightly discolored urine, it was dark red. My attention was diverted again away from the site and to doing what
I needed ti do ti survive this for my young daughters and my wife. (My mom too, in her 80’s losing her eldest son after her husband wouldn’t have been good for her mental health).
Well, long story short. The day they confirmed my options were to have my bladder removed or hope that I didn’t die too soon, my wife and I had ti make a decision. Now, you might think the decision was easy, and it was. I was going to have my bladder taken out and be replaced with a plastic bag that I would stick to my body. Simple, huh?
Actually, 2 years out, yeah it’s not that bad, I’m still here for my family and other than a few changes in my daily routine, I am adjusted. But, this is about survival skills. I don’t think, I did any thing major, but I did do some things that helped me. The first thing was to tell my wife; we cried. The reality of that is scary by itself, but what will we do after that. Will I still be able to work, how does that affect our intimacy since the prostate is involved in the surgery and that plays a role in male virility. The uncertainly of what was it going to be like? Would I walk around smelling of urine?
This is where a friend came in to help me understand the issues. He connected with a man who had this same procedure 10-15 years previously and he was doing fine. That helped calm me, but there was still the process of surgery again, a week or more in the hospital, the technical skill is bag pavement and use. After the surgery, I was only expected to stay in the hospital for a week, but unfortunately it was extended due to complications with eating. Now, I already had issues with eating, but since they needed to respect my bowel, I didn’t eat hard food for several days. Here is where it got more complicated. As I say it. “I forgot how to swallow.”
There were a few more weeks of in-home nursing assistance to learn to swallow again. It worked out and in only 3 months, I had returned to work. There were adjustments at home in sleeping with a night drainage bag which required adjustments, at work, I needed to keep my ostomy bag out if site and always keep an eye out for leakage and be prepared with an extra pair of clothes and supplies to replace the bag. The only other thing was to ensure I could eat in the allotted time.
I thought it all was going ok until the night of July 20th. I had returned to work on July 1st. I went to bed normally around 8:30-9:00pm. The issue being, I was hungry and I drank some boost prior to bed. Well, the flap in my esophagus that closed and is suppose to prevent food or drink going into the lungs had been damaged with my radiation treatment. I woke up coughing, feeling chilled. I thought at first I was having COVID pneumonia. I drive myself to the hospital 30 minutes away. I was admitted to the ICU the next morning with a diagnosis of aspirational pneumonia & sepsis. I also had a BP of 84/32, IR there about.
Well, let me end it here by saying, I ended getting a gastric feeding tube placed with one of the staff saying, any time you eat or drink by mouth from now on, this could happen again. Needless to say, I continue flushing my nutrients in a tube. That episode took a lot out of me and I was forced to retire 3 months later.
That was almost 2 years ago, I have become the house dad and my wife works. We get by with my retirement and social security augmenting my wife job. Actually, it’s a different lifestyle. I do get to spend more time with my daughters. I think they like that most if the time, except when it’s homework time. But, I am surviving on the road of life. That’s what we all must do.
I am open to speak with anyone who has any issues they are having and feel that I might be able to help. Let me know what you want to see in the future on
www.Survivallifeskills.com
You can reach out at:
[email protected]
An old Wordpress site of mine is:
lightsdualnature.wordpress.com
Knowledge is a Work in Progress.
