10/11/2026
Oftentimes it is suggested by those who don't understand, "why isn't there a straight pride parade" or a "straight pride month?" And the answer is truly simple: because straight people don't have to "come out" to society. The default in today's world is to be straight and to be cis - meaning that you are the gender that you present as physically.
Here's the deal though - straight people will never understand the turmoil and tumult that those in the LGBTQ community struggle with when they finally make the decision to be themselves. Even in the most welcoming environment, it is truly like stepping over a boundary in their life that once they're over, they cannot ever get back. It's a precipice of a point of no return. The feeling is so great, so overwhelming that many simply stare through the boundary but never cross out of fear of what happens next. Those that do cross the boundary, regardless of those in their lives who claim support, will never know for certain until they have made that choice.
The world has come a long way, but the world will never have "made it" to a society of equals until those in the LGBTQ community no longer have to "come out." Full equality is reached when the default status quo assumption isn't that everybody is straight until somebody announces otherwise.
Little things matter and, if you consider yourself an ally, there are things you can do to get us there, 1 step at a time:
- Don't assume that boys wear blue and girls wear pink.
- Call trans individuals by their preferred name and address them by the preferred pronoun they ask of you.
- Don't assume boys and girls as they are growing up have an interest in the opposite s*x. Instead - ask questions about people they show interest in, in gender-neutral terms.
- When asking about somebody's spouse, don't assume they are of the opposite gender. Instead ask "tell me about your family" if you want to know more.
- Don't assume that somebody who presents as female, is female or that somebody who presents as male, is male and assume it is Mrs./Ms. or Mr. respectively.
- Know that not all gay people know one another and just because two people are gay doesn't mean that they'll automatically find each other attractive.
- Know that just because you may be attractive doesn't mean that a gay person of your gender is automatically going to "want" you.
- Also know that if a person of your same gender does hit on you or pays you a compliment, there's nothing wrong with it. You can simply tell them you're not interested, just as you would if somebody of the opposite gender did the same thing.
- Help LGBTQ people and organizations advocate for more representation in the media - in movies, TV, news, books, and more. We are under represented. And, moreover, when we are shown, there is almost always backlash. Help put a stop to those demonstrably destructive conversations when you hear them.
- Don't let friends or family tell homophobic or transphobic jokes.
- If you're out in public and you're unsure if somebody you observe is male or female, move along and mind your business. The same is true if they are in a bathroom that you don't "think" they belong in. Everyone has a right to do their business in peace.
- Stop destructive myths from continuing. LGBTQ people are not child predators. Drag queen story time is not the leading cause of child death in this country, and allowing your child to know a gay person doesn't mean that they're going to turn out gay (and even if it did, so what?).
These are just some simple things that you can do right now to help advocate for equality on this National Coming Out Day.
And...one last thing...to those of you who have not yet come out: know that I hear you and I see you. You are safe. You are loved. The world is a crazy place and if you're not ready, I understand. And when you are, know that I also understand. Regardless of where you are in your coming out journey - you are important. You matter. You are the only you that anyone can ever be, and the world needs you.
Happy Coming Out Day!
