05/06/2026
🐾⚠️ TAKE YOUR DOG TO WORK DAY - HR HAS ALREADY RECEIVED 17 COMPLAINTS ⚠️🐾
So today was “Take Your Dog to Work Day” and I brought Donny to the dive shop.
At first I thought he would just supervise operations. Instead, he immediately took charge.
✅ Filled tanks
✅ Serviced regulators
✅ Inspected all dive equipment
✅ Conducted random safety audits
✅ Cleaned the boat
✅ Stared judgmentally at employees who were not pulling their weight
His employment package was supposed to be food and belly rubs, but after seeing the amount of work he did, Donny informed management that he now requires steak, premium treats and a comprehensive dental plan.
To be honest, it might actually be cheaper to put him on the payroll.
The only problem is that after 47 minutes of hard labor, three quality-control inspections, and one unauthorized snack break, Donny filed for mandatory nap time and was found unconscious on the couch like a worker who just completed a 16-hour offshore shift.
I must say, he is the best assistant anyone could ask for. Never complains, always happy to see customers, and unlike some employees, he doesn’t spend all day on his phone.
Tomorrow he will be assisting with an Advanced Open Water class. His responsibilities include:
🐕 Underwater navigation
🐕 Fish identification
🐕 Demonstrating perfect buoyancy
🐕 Locating dropped dive weights using the highly advanced “sniff and lick” search pattern
Please wish Donny luck as he continues his journey toward becoming the world’s first PADI Canine Instructor.
If you don’t hear from me tomorrow, it’s because he’s taken over the business and replaced me as manager.
🐾😂🐾😂🐾😂
🐕🌊🤿
