25/04/2022
I was discussing confidence with a client last week and was reflecting back on it today.
I realise that confidence is not a skill, something you have or don't have. Or even something you need to practice to get better at.
It's a subjective experience that can change from one moment to the next, from one hour, day or month to the next, depending on how I feel physically (tired, rested, hungry, sick, ...), mentally (overwhelmed, clear,...) and emotionally (sad, joyful, anxious, angry, still, numb,...) and more importantly how much I am turned towards others and who I am relating to.
Being surrounded by people that see me, hear me, understand me and can reflect back to me some appreciation (ie. Give me a sense of value) gives me confidence and makes me feel strong, safe to be who I want to be. It allows me to tame my fears and take action.
So what if instead of "building confidence" in ourselves by ourselves we focused more on building meaningful connection with people that make us feel good and powerful.
What do you think?
Bonus: How about offering more appreciation to those around you to help them feel confident ?
#
There is a simple 3 step rule to give appreciation which I use with my kids and it comes from the work of Nancy Kline. She says appreciate a quality you see in someone, not what they think and say and use the 3S principles to do so :
✨be Specific
✨Be Sincere
✨Be Succinct (keep it short & crisp)
I always start off with “What I appreciate in you is...”
My two sons love ❤️ it when I offer them appreciation at bedtime and I am blown away but what they appreciate in me.
Happy week and don't forget to bring more meaningful connection into each day.