28/09/2025
When my dad died I made a decision to be a “strong” example for my brothers. At the time I thought strength meant not talking about pain or sadness or loneliness. I thought it meant keeping everything inside and keeping a smile on my face. What I realize now, is that is weakness. Vulnerability is strength. Accountability is strength. Forgiveness is strength.
Being “strong” in that misguided way was one of the reasons I fell so deep into alcoholism and co***ne addiction.
In watching my dad lose his life, I fast tracked destroying my own.
Getting his handwriting tattooed on me serves not only as a way to memorialize a wonderful man, it allows me to keep him with me at all times internally and externally. It will allow me to finally grieve thoroughly. It will always be a reminder that I can forgive myself because I was simply doing my best with the tools I had and that every day is a gift. Every day is an opportunity to live the life I want to live while I can live it.