03/09/2022
TL:DR (yes, this is a very long post)
Test results show that my sleep apnea improved over 2019 to 2022. I think that yoga, better sleeping habits helped, here's why:
Yoga to me is not about perfecting a headstand or any particular pose, because it helped me sleep better and breath better.
After a while, I noticed that my digestion improved, my thoughts were different and my relationships with loved ones became calmer.
One reason the change was so obvious to me was that I have sleep apnea, and after I was diagnosed in 2019, I became much more conscious of my sleeping habits and breathing patterns.
Sleep apnea is when a person starts and stops breathing as he or she sleeps, for multiple times a night - resulting in poor sleep and inadequate oxygen. The immediate effect is tiredness, forgetfulness and irritability; in the long term, the drops in blood oxygen level at night can lead to complications like heart problems.
While it's often associated with older men and being overweight, it can also be caused by the shapes of our faces like a narrow jaw. But it never occurred to me to check before, so I'm grateful to the doctor who told me to go for the sleep test or polysomnography.
For the past three years, I've slept with a CPAP machine, which pushes air into the throat and keeps airways open so I can breathe while I sleep. I emphathise with people who tried this and gave up, it's hard to get used to and I remember waking up one night in tears because it was so hard to just sleep.
I changed the position of the machine, pillows, my sleeping posture, ended up not using a pillow at all ... when I could finally sleep and breathe for seven hours straight, the difference was palpable.
I began to wonder why small things, like grating noises, used to irritate me in the past; I stopped nervous habits like biting my nails, I started remembering my grocery list better and I stopped remembering my dreams.
But there were still times when I slept badly - usually when I was stressed. That's when I started practising yoga and mindfulness, but not intentionally, it was more of a coincidence. The "circuit breaker" or lockdown in Singapore had started, and I couldn't go to the gym.
After a few months, I slept even better and I've never felt so refreshed in my life. This year, I went for another sleep test, and the results show that even without the CPAP machine, I stop breathing less when I'm sleeping. My Apnea-Hypopnea Index (AHI), which measures how severe the apnea is, fell from about 22 to 15.5.
There can be a few reasons and I can't link any one thing I've done definitively to the results. I just want to share my experience.
I lost weight, but only about 2 to 3kg, the doctor said this was probably why the AHI improved. I've never tried very hard to lose weight, and tended to put on weight when I exercised, as I'd eat more and add muscle.
I lost weight because I stopped craving food with very strong tastes - like most fast food, and I began being more aware of when I got full during a meal. I've always found it true that adjusting my diet was much harder than exercising regularly, but it came naturally when I become more mindful.
My sleep technician said that doing breathing exercises could have an effect. There is research to show that playing wind instruments, singing and other exercises to strengthen the airways can help with sleep apnea.
I have been doing breathing exercises a few times a week in the course of yoga practice. My teacher also emphasises the importance of synchronising breath with movement.
As time went by, my breathing pattern has changed and it's now slower and more deliberate. I started noticing when I breathed faster or how I stopped breathing when I was too focussed on work and stressed out, and I take a deep breath when it happens.
Just by breathing and sleeping better, I no longer get off work feeling exhausted and irritable. I also feel more rested because problems or issues in the day no longer run circles in my head just before I sleep: I breathe, I decide whether I can do anything about them, I deal with it. When I rest, I rest.
There's no research that I can cite to explain the changes I feel. I'm simply more aware of my body and the way my body and mind connects; it just feels like they're finally talking to each other.
We tend to fall asleep when melatonin peaks, which is usually around 10pm for the majority of people. Instead of reading or watching a video through this, like I used to do. I can feel "peak sleepiness" descend and start preparing to sleep.
One other thing that used to get in the way of sleep was irritable bowel syndrome. I would wake up in the night curled in pain, because of something I ate that I couldn't digest. Antacids and other medicine didn't help much, but I just ate them because I didn't know what else to do.
I threw all my antacids away because now, I breathe the pain away. There's no method, I instinctively take slow, deliberate breaths, focusing my awareness on my tummy. After a while, I burp or fart and the pain goes away.
I also think that I was able to stick with mindfulness practices because I'm sleeping better. I remember trying meditation classes years ago, and finding them incredibly difficult. Now, I enjoy setting aside time to sit and breath quietly. It reinforces each other, and it all came together for me at the right time.
I remember, vaguely, a time when I was constantly exhausted and burned out. When I was younger, I was often gripped with anxiety about simple challenges, I thought I was just "scatter-brained" and being irritable and sensitive was part of my "personality". I tended to look on the dark side of things and spiraled into bouts of depression.
I just want people to know that these are things you can change, it's not just your "personality" that you're "born with". You can learn to be joyful and you can be more resilient, and for me it started with breathing and sleeping better. You don't have to believe me, just try it for yourself :)
