The Cook Coterie

25/11/2025

Support actual small businesses this holiday season!

15/05/2025

I recently started YouTube channel answering the most common questions I get about healing from narcissistic parents. Check it out:

Welcome to Rea Life With Marie—where I share real talk on healing, parenthood, Asian culture, pop culture, politics, and self-growth. No topic is off-limits! Let’s break cycles, gain insight, and thrive together. Subscribe for thought-provoking discussions and fresh perspectives!

06/11/2023

New Podcast Alert! 🎧

'Curiosity Unveiled' is your invitation to explore the wonders of the human experience. Join me on a journey of personal growth and radical objectivity. We celebrate the beauty of embracing curiosity, challenging assumptions, and igniting your thirst for knowledge.

This podcast is for survivors of narcissistic abuse, and anyone who's been told to be quiet, to not ask questions and to not be seen. It is an environment where all questions are allowed🌋

With every episode, I'll strive to provide you with insightful conversations, captivating stories, and thought-provoking discussions. It's a voyage into the heart of life's mysteries, where we embrace the transformative potential of intellectual curiosity. Are you prepared to embark on this adventure of exploration and self-discovery? Join my community of like-minded individuals who appreciate the value of open-minded inquiry. Let's satisfy our intellectual hunger together and celebrate the joy of unveiling the beauty that surrounds us.

New episodes are now available on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Amazon Music, and wherever you listen to podcasts. Link in bio.

21/03/2023

As human beings, we have a natural tendency to take on responsibility for things that are not our fault. Maybe we feel guilty for not meeting someone's expectations, or we blame ourselves when something goes wrong.

But here's the thing: when someone cares about you, they never want you to feel guilty for things that are not your responsibility. That's not how healthy relationships work.

Unfortunately, there are people in this world who take advantage of our tendency to take on blame. These people are abusers, and their tactics can be insidious. They might make you feel guilty for things you had no control over, or they might manipulate you into thinking that everything that goes wrong is your fault. This behavior is toxic and harmful, and it is never okay.

So today, I want to remind you that you are not responsible for the actions of others. You are not to blame for someone else's bad behavior, and you do not have to accept guilt that does not belong to you. If someone is making you feel guilty for things you're not responsible for, that is a red flag. It's a sign that something is wrong, and that you need to take a step back and reassess the relationship.

Let's support each other in recognizing when someone is manipulating us into feeling guilty, and let's stand up against that behavior. We all deserve to be in relationships that are built on trust, respect, and mutual understanding. And we can't have those things if we're constantly being made to feel guilty for things that are not our fault. So let's hold ourselves and each other to a higher standard, and let's create a world where abuse has no place.

Want to learn more about healing from narcissistic abuse? DM me the word "FREEDOM."

30/12/2022

What if your husband doesn’t actually need you to be his parent?⠀
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What if you could just treat him like an adult that you partner with in life?⠀
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How would that change the way you communicate with him?⠀
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Your husband doesn’t need you to nag him.⠀
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Your husband doesn’t need you to be his maid.⠀

And he definitely does not need you to be his mother, or remind him of her.
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Reminder: Your husband lived on his own before he met you, which means he knows how to do a lot of the things you wish he would do more of.⠀
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So if he knows how to do those things… maybe the reason why is because he’s avoiding criticism?⠀
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Maybe it’s because you say you want support and he wants to but history has taught him to not bother anymore.

I'm looking for a select group of women who are ready to accelerate their healing. If you are a married woman who comes from narcissistic parents, DM the word READY to apply to work with me.

29/12/2022

The way you and your partner argue may have become your normal, but it doesn't necessarily mean it's healthy and that this is the way your fights have to be forever!

What was normal for me in my relationships was a lot of conflict where I would end up feeling angry, alone, and unloved.

These feelings led me to react in ways I hated. The blaming, criticizing, passive aggressiveness and even talking over my partner.

It's like I completely forgot how to be respectful when I had BIG feelings.

I hated that about myself and couldn't bring myself to use the communication tools I learned.

It seemed like my emotions were out to get me.

But now, I've learned that's not the case at all!

I just needed to understand what my emotions were telling me and pause to do the inner work.

Not just the mind based work, but the body based work too.

Every time I got upset, my nervous system was dysregulated and that's when our old relationship sabotaging patterns come out to play.

So there IS something you can do to support yourself.

Listen to your mind AND body and heal the parts of you that feel the need to act out in arguments with your spouse.

This is what we'll be diving into inside of my upcoming program, The Marriage Healing Accelerator.

Together, we'll be doing the inner work to help you heal your wounds caused by narcissistic abuse, understand your patterns, and learn somatic tools to support your nervous system so you don't feel the need to overpower your spouse.

This program will help you argue BETTER so you can experience less drama and more connection!

DM me "READY" to learn more❤️

29/12/2022

Even if you had me in your ear during a fight with your husband, it still wouldn't create lasting change.

Here's the tea..

It’s all about the energy, the vibe you bring to the fight. If you're not being intentional and curious in how you communicate with your husband, no amount of talking will change things.

When you're intentional and curious about what's really going on, you show up with more confidence, presence, calmness and understanding.

Are you ready to save your marriage? DM "READY" to learn more.

29/11/2022

What are your top 3 priorities?

Do any resonate with any of the lists below?

1. Kids. 2. Spouse 3. Self
1. Self 2. Spouse 3. Kids
1. Work 2. Kids. 3. Spouse

Life is full of distractions that pull our attention away from what really matters.

Are you actually happy in your marriage?

I'm not talking about the photos you share online or even in your family group chat. How do you feel on the inside?

Are you feeling connected and satisfied in your marriage?

Can you share your deepest truths and be met with compassion & support?

Are you your truest self with your spouse?

If you answered no to any of the questions above, ask yourself why.

This precious life of yours is NOT a dress rehearsal. It's happening NOW.

If there's any aspect of your marriage or family life you're unhappy about, it's time to do something about it now.

Let's start prioritizing what actually matters in life. Not being busy for busy sake but our relationships.

I'm looking for a select group of women who are ready to accelerate their healing. If you are a married woman who comes from narcissistic parents, DM the word READY to apply to work with me.

02/10/2022

When you got married, were your dreams the same as your expectations?⠀
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I used to believe a healthy relationship was one where you’re happy 24/7, didn’t argue, and laughed together all the time. Basically the opposite of the marriages I saw growing up in my narcissistic family.
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So when it was quiet and we weren’t talking or if they were in a funk, I felt like something was wrong with my marriage.⠀
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👋🏼 Hello anxious attachment style!⠀
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Truth is, relationships go through seasons like motherhood. There are times it feels like everything is smooth sailing and then next you’re wondering, “Why is world war III going on?!”⠀
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Expecting my marriage to be perfect put a lot of pressure on my marriage.⠀
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Have you considered what you expect from your partner?⠀
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Do you expect them to say and do things to make you happy?⠀
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No judgment, just awareness. If you are, it’s likely unintentional.⠀
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Even as a marriage coach, I catch myself doing this too!⠀
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Sometimes I catch myself having expectations I never even shared with him LOL.
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Here are some questions to check in with your marriage:⠀
💭 Does your marriage feel enjoyable still?⠀
💭 Does your marriage feel disconnected, heavy, and frustrating? Or fun, light, and fulfilling?⠀
💭 Do you enjoy each other’s company?
💭 Do you make time to connect?⠀
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There is always so much to do as a woman, wife and mom. It's easy to go on autopilot and settle in our marriage. And then, years have gone by and nothing has changed for the better.⠀
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My goal for you is to feel like you have a life you thoroughly enjoy. A partnership that you feel loved and supported in so you can go out and live your best life because your home life feels solid.⠀
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If you’re ready to expand your experience of life and marriage, I got you. My marriage healing accelerator program is designed for women who come from narcissistic parents create a healthy marriage! DM me READY To learn more.

24/09/2022

We need to stop believing the lie that we can change our spouses by being manipulative with them.

Our narcissistic parents taught us how to be manipulative, and we can be better than them.

Manipulation can leave lasting negative effects on your marriage.

Some signs to look out for:
- You've taken your husband's ability to lead in the home
- Your partnership has stifled
- Your husband dreads having a "talk" with you
- He does things out of obligation

If you have narcissistic parents, I have good news for you! I’m looking for beta students for my marriage healing accelerator program where I help women with narcissistic parents break free from people pleasing patterns and create a healthy marriage. DM me READY to learn more

14/09/2022

Emotions...⁠
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Have you ever had emotions that overtake you completely? Then guess what, you are NORMAL! ⁠
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We all have intense emotions from time to time. This is NOT the time to make any kind of major decision in life!⁠
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For me, what I use to do is avoid dealing with the emotions I was feeling because I just didn't have the time to process them... so I avoided and shoved them down. ⁠
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This works for a period of time before the emotions WILL come out with a force! Our emotions and feelings are important and are there for us to look underneath then for "Why" they are there in the first place. ⁠
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Our hearts are important and often times, I dismiss my emotions... but really... they are pointing to a much deeper issue in my heart that needs attending and care.⁠

Are you exhausted when it comes to dealing with your emotions?

I'm looking for beta students for my marriage healing accelerator program. DM me READY to apply to work with me❤️

08/09/2022

Healthy adults talk about problems.

Healthy adults talk about solutions.

There's no hiding behind shame or fear. There's no NEED to hide.

To be truly seen for who you are in marriage, is where the most powerful intimacy lives.

Despite having narcissistic parents, you can achieve a marriage where you feel safe and seen.

I’m looking for beta students for my new marriage healing accelerator program where I help women with narcissistic parents create an emotionally healthy marriage. DM me the word "READY" to learn more