Katrin Berndt

12/09/2023

How can you enjoy your good relationship today, even if it might end tomorrow? That is the question I answer in my TEDx talk.

If you struggle with anxiety, jealousy, and worry in your good relationship, this is a must-watch for you!

Enjoy!

Could your partner be cheating on you right now? You might think that happiness comes naturally when you find "the one." But for a lot of people, it doesn't....

04/08/2023

💔 Why isn’t a good relationship with a loving, kind, supportive partner enough to make you happy?

I cannot stress enough how important the answer to this question is.

When you think a good relationship and a good partner SHOULD be enough to make you happy, you make your unhappiness mean one of two things:

1. There’s something wrong with my relationship/partner (it’s not as good as it seems).

2. There’s something wrong with me.

And then you view your life and relationship through the lens of either of these beliefs and start gathering evidence that they’re true.

But a good relationship with a good partner was never enough to make you happy. Because your partner does not control or create your feelings for you.

How you feel comes from what you are thinking. And no circumstance (relationship) can ever compensate for and override your own thoughts about it.

So it is VERY easy to feel like s**t in an amazing relationship with a healthy, secure partner. All you need to do is think and believe thoughts that make you feel that way.

This is why it’s possible to mistrust when your partner isn’t doing anything wrong.

This is why it’s possible to be jealous even when your partner isn’t interested in other women.

This is why it’s possible to DOUBT your partner’s love for you even when they love you with all their heart.

The circumstance does NOT control your thoughts. For better and for worse.

You always have the final say in how you choose to think about and interpret the circumstances in your life. No one has the power to do that for you.

So… the fact that you’re miserable in the best relationship you’ve ever had is NOT a sign that there’s something wrong with you or it.

It just means your brain is interpreting your circumstances in a way that makes you feel awful. And we can work on that together. ❤️‍🩹

Follow me for more Grumpy ➡️ Elite Girlfriend advice.

31/07/2023

Spending time trying to GUESS what your partner is thinking in order to then decide how to think and feel about what they do is A WASTE OF TIME.

Why?

Because you’re never going to know for sure.

All you know is what you can observe.

So this week’s episode is not about me telling you WHAT your partner is thinking, if they are lying or not, and what their behavior means about your relationship.

I don’t know the answer to those questions.

But I do know how brains work.

And just like you, your partner has a human brain that does what human brains do.

I know your brain has a bad habit of making your partner’s behavior about you. You did something wrong, you are being lied to, you’re not good enough…

With this episode, I want to show you how LITTLE their behavior actually has to do with you. The same way your grumpy, jealous behavior doesn’t actually have anything to do with them!

So…

◾️ Listen to episode 119 of The Elite Girlfriend Podcast in your podcast app of choice!

Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/episode/15asDSBDKIwIKYPSm3IJxd?si=RfR4zWw3RQGqq6SnAY9d5w

I’d love to hear your thoughts about the episode once you’ve listened to it! 🔥

14/04/2023

⛔️ Stop scrolling and listen: This stupid ass idea that girlfriends need to see it coming, notice all the signs, always be prepared, and therefore be emotionally unaffected by being left or cheated on is bulls**t.

It all stems from the narrative that women who get lied to and cheated on are stupid, naive, and that it’s really embarrassing… for them???

Can we please stop shaming ourselves for being lied TO?

Can we please give other people’s choices and responsibilities back to them?

Can we please all agree that just because you’re taken by surprise or caught off guard by heartbreak, that’s not a sign that you’ve done something wrong?

Girlfriends are so focused on avoiding humiliation and shame from “not seeing it coming” that it robs them of the joy and happiness of their relationships.

Here’s what I decided for myself:

✅ I would rather be shocked by heartbreak…
than suffer daily.

✅ I would rather trust and be lied to…
than be constantly on guard.

✅ I will never shame myself for “not seeing it coming”.

✅ I will practice processing pain so that I don’t have to fear it.

✅ I will always take full responsibility for myself, and give other people’s responsibilities back to them.

I have learned how to be WILLING to hurt. Today, I am WILLING to be cheated on and lied to. I am WILLING to allow my partner to make their own choices, because I no longer make those choices mean there’s something wrong with ME.

It’s really counterintuitive, but the willingness to hurt is what unlocks joy, pleasure, and happiness in your relationship today.

And when you peel off the self-judgment and shame from that potential hurt, it’s not nearly as bad.

Painful? Yes. But at least you’re not stabbing yourself in the heart on top of it.

✅ Leave a check mark in the comments to confirm that you have understood. NO MORE SHAME.

Let’s go.

14/04/2023

Do you ever feel like being a good, happy, loving girlfriend requires that you fake it and hide “the real you?”

And then eventually, you run out of willpower to keep her hidden and you explode all over the place..?

⛔️ SHE is NOT the real you. ⛔️

She is the impulsive, instinctual, scared-to-death-version of you. She is run by your primitive brain, which’s main job is to keep you alive.

The REAL you is what is hiding underneath.

Who you WANT to be.

What you’d do if you could CHOOSE.

What you INTELLECTUALLY believe.

That’s you.

And in order to let her out, you need to work through all those fears that are keeping her locked up.

This is the work I do with my clients inside my private coaching program.

Come work with me and I’ll show you that the REAL you is more amazing than you could ever imagine.

Link in bio to read more & schedule your consultation today.

25/01/2023

"Stop blaming the woman for everything wrong in the relationship!" That's one of the most common pieces of criticism I receive online.

Call me crazy, but I don't think we should blame the partner for the girlfriend's unhealthy, jealous, controlling behaviors. Just as we would never blame a woman for how her male partner chooses to treat her.

In this week's blog post, I talk about the unhealthy love grumpy girlfriends often exhibit and its connection to relationship abuse.

Read post: https://katrinberndt.com/2023/01/25/are-grumpy-girlfriends-abusive/

18/01/2023

Do I believe you should work with me if you're struggling in your good relationship? Yes. Absolutely.

Why? Because at the end of our journey together, you will NOT be dependent on me to continue to improve your life and relationship.

Read this post to learn what makes my process unique:

https://katrinberndt.com/2023/01/18/4-reasons-you-should-work-with-me-as-your-relationship-coach/

15/01/2023

A weekend of dreaming big and celebrating big dreams already coming true. 🥂

Thank you and - let’s do this again sometime!

Y’all better buckle up because 2023 is going to be 🔥🔥🔥🔥

Have you set your big 2023 goals yet? Tell me all about them in the comments. I would love to hear what you’ll be achieving this year. 👇🏻

08/01/2023

🇸🇪 Did you start following me for my Slow Swedish content? Then today is your lucky day! After weekly requests for years and years, I have decided to start this circus back up again.

Instagram: http://instagram.com/slowswedish_
YouTube: http://youtube.com/katrinberndtswe

This page will have nothing to do with it, but I just wanted to let you know since a lot of you came here for that content.

I don't know what all of this is going to look like, but we'll figure it out as we go! Let me know in the comments if you'll be following along. 😃

07/01/2023

La campeona! 🎾🏆 What better way to end your vacation than with a little tournament victory? Hehe.

I’m excited to see what this year has in store… padel-wise, but maybe more importantly, work-wise.

I hope you’ve had a good holiday season and that you’re also excited for the year ahead.

Back to the (home) office on Monday. Vamovamovamos! 🔥♥️

05/01/2023

Changing how you think and feel about a situation in your relationship has more and more become synonymous with gaslighting and abuse.

On one hand it’s extremely important and valuable to raise awareness of different kinds of abuse in relationships.

But it is also unfortunate when the conversation becomes completely one-sided. Especially for girlfriends in good relationships who suffer from their own brains’ imagination.

What I want you to understand is that there’s a difference between what you automatically think and feel about a situation and what you WANT to think and feel about it.

Sometimes they align and your automatic reaction is what you want to think and feel.

But my clients tell me ALL the time that “It makes me feel terrible and act crazy but I WANT to be okay with it because intellectually I AM okay with it! My brain and body just doesn’t seem to agree.”

This is where coaching comes in. Together, we work on your thoughts, interpretations, and beliefs in order to make your experience of the relationship more aligned with reality.

Your relationship IS good. Your partner IS loving and respectful. And you need to learn to manage your mind and emotions in order to finally enjoy all that goodness.

This is not gaslighting. This is an act of self-love.

And the few times that it turns out that my clients actually aren’t being treated well by their partners, we always adjust the coaching to serve my client and take appropriate action. ♥️

Ready to finally enjoy your good relationship? Come work with me: https://katrinberndt.com/program

01/01/2023

Hello, 2023. 🤍