02/07/2026
Yesterday my heart broke, not into 100 pieces,
nor into 1,000
but into 700 million parts.
Small and jagged.
Impossible to glue back together.
My big white boy.
With the loud voice.
Just getting through the hard time of youth,
growing into a man.
Taking on new roles.
Dreaming of the winter to come.
For sure the new leader of the team,
with his determination,
strong body,
kindness,
and his big appetite for food and life.
One unexpected bite that went so wrong.
I cried my eyes out at the vet’s.
I almost made the decision not to let him go.
My heart was screaming.
Save him.
Save his paw.
Make it usable again.
Do whatever it takes.
It was screaming so loudly.
But I looked at him again,
sobbing into his fur,
and I knew…
Deep in my soul,
I knew.
Our journey ended here.
No matter how hard my heart was screaming.
I had to let him go…
And with him,
I think so much will go…
so much will change.
There have been signs I have ignored,
truths I have not been ready to face.
But maybe now it is time to truly see.
I look around me,
trying to gather the scattered pieces of my heart,
but I know I will never be able to find them all.
My heart will never be the same again,
and neither will the dreams that live within it.
💔💔💔