16/01/2025
PMDD
It hit me today more so then usual how lonely this condition is. I’m sat with friends who joked about how many days I blame things on my period. I said I had PMDD and everyone laughed “what even is that” “I swear you’ve made that up”. Don’t get me wrong it’s all in banter and I get it and I laugh BUT for me it’s no joke!
My period is like clock work, I use and I start my period pretty much the exact day it says every month. However 7-10 days before Mother Nature hits the PMDD symptoms hit.
Today I have cried roughly 4 times….
1. When I had an argument with my eldest
2. When the teacher asked me if everything was ok
3. Telling my partner about argument
4. When i went home for a break
5. During a discussion with my partner.
Most months I have low self worth and question my ability as a mother, partner, friend and person in general. Before I found the right medication for me EVERY month I would have suicidal thoughts.
During both the lead up and during my period my Anxiety increases tenfold and with it the feeling of being completely out of control of all of my day to day activities. I have low mood, don’t want to talk to anyone (which is really hard in my job lol!) would rather be by myself all day every day. Unable to mentally cope with any of my kids tantrums or any discord in the house. Mess makes me cry. Crying makes me cry 😩😩😩😩 And god the fatigue is ridiculous, I frequently fall asleep in my car between clients🙈🙈🙈 but when I want to go bed insomnia hits. I struggle with my weight…I swear I have intense cravings one minute and loss of appetite the next 🤯.
This post isn’t for sympathy but today made me realise once again how little people understand about women’s health problems. I can laugh at myself, but on a serious note this s**t is HARDI have one really good week which I look forward to every month.
Remember not all illnesses are visible!!
