10/04/2018
Tuesday, April.10th, 2018
A letter to me and my brothers,
Imagine……...waking up or being disturbed to a shock and motion so violent that it changes and sets forth a moment and future of reality you never had a chance to catch.
At 5pm Central Time, April.7th, 2018 I lost a piece of me………. of my life……. I was hit. I was not even close to the most horrifying devastation we have ever seen in hockey, but the synergy and brotherhood of being of a hockey player made me feel it cut like a knife through my heart. I am Canadian, I am a hockey player, I live in Texas……. but I was hit to by this……. like a hammer. I rode the bus, I played junior hockey, I chased the effervescent dream of working so hard to make it. So many countless miles travelled on the bus I rode, through Alberta, Saskatchewan, British Columbia, Manitoba and beyond. You anticipate nothing but joy and comradery as you ride that bus, it is your second home away from home. You joke, you play games, you play cards and always assume you are in an unstoppable tank of freedom as you make the journey to your next game. As we all have seen and felt, that tank isn’t so indestructible.
How do we absorb this, how do we try and move on and assure ourselves as hockey gladiators that in true fashion we always try and carry ourselves above normal humanity? We can’t……. we don’t ever prepare ourselves for loss, for disappointment, for chance. We as hockey players wrap ourselves in a mystery of passion and love and always assume we are safe and blessed because that is the life we have been given. Yet reality comes….it comes with a vengeance we can never anticipate……a capacity of misunderstanding and loss that takes us away from who we are and what we are. Now we are broken, broken beyond the armor and strength we have ever known. Why, why can this be? How can this happen?
So selfishly I feel alone, yet I know every hockey player mourns this loss. Every mother, father, brother, sister, uncle, aunt and billet cry and suffers this horrendous loss. The beauty beyond this disaster is that as a nation, a community, a family…… we come together and understand we are more powerful than a single emotion of despair and cataclysm, we are invulnerable to this because we are the pure human of adulation and perfection. We know the overtime loss, the injured teammate, we are the pinnacle of the athlete. You say hockey player, the public says amazing, warrior, the best sports have to offer. This gives me peace, this gives me hope because I know there is no other community that can offer such love and adoration. None can hold a candle to us, yet many will light a candle to make us be felt and seen.
I am a hockey player, I am a brother of this family, I will love and cherish what is ours. God bless and love the coaches, players and families of this incident, you will forever be on my heart and ingrained into my soul. I am so sorry for all who have lost and been affected by this. God Bless you all.
Paul Fioroni- Hockey Player, Brother in Arms
