16/07/2026
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Literary
๐ณ๐๐๐ ๐ญ๐๐๐
๐๐๐ ๐ฒ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐ท๐๐๐๐
Getting into a tech suit, especially an Arena Primo, is a battle. Every single time, I have to wiggle, pull, and drag that thing over my hips just to make sure the seams sit right. If they donโt, my stroke is ruined in the first fifty meters. It pinches my shoulders and digs in, but after all these years, you just learn to live with the ache. My shoulders click every time I rotate. Itโs just the default noise of five years of broken joints.
People talk about the โ๐๐๐ฃ๐๐ก ๐ฎ๐๐๐งโ like itโs some big deal. They talk about โleaving everything in the pool.โ Honestly? Iโm just drained and empty. Being an overage athlete feels like being a ghost in the water. I watch the younger swimmers look at the whiteboard and panic when they see the intervals. I remember being that scared when I was younger. Now, Iโm just numb. I know exactly how much pain itโs going to take to hit the set. Iโm not doing this for some extra endurance. Thatโs just the stuff Coach says to motivate us during the hardest sets. Itโs just simple math. Iโm counting down my laps until Iโm fully done.
My life is just filled with a cycle of damp towels and online modules. I spend my mornings fighting or trying to catch a breath in the water and my afternoons struggling to stay awake in class, my eyes still stinging from the chlorine I canโt wash out. We arenโt doing anything special. Weโre just kids who got used to being miserable.
Everyone says the last race is supposed to be emotional. It isnโt. Itโs a relief. No more 5:30 a.m. alarms. No more shivering on the pool deck in a wetsuit. But then the silence hits, and you realize you donโt have any idea what youโre supposed to do with yourself. If Iโm not the swimmer, if Iโm not the guy obsessed with splits, then what am I?
The water doesnโt care that Iโm leaving. The lane lines will be there for the next athlete. The clock keeps running for everyone else.
I stayed too long. Iโm just finally running out of laps.
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๐๐ฉ๐ฆ๐ณ๐ฆ ๐ช๐ฎ๐ข๐จ๐ช๐ฏ๐ข๐ต๐ช๐ฐ๐ฏ ๐ง๐ช๐ฏ๐ฅ๐ด ๐ช๐ต๐ด ๐ท๐ฐ๐ช๐ค๐ฆ, ๐ข๐ฏ๐ฅ ๐ฆ๐ท๐ฆ๐ณ๐บ ๐ด๐ต๐ฐ๐ณ๐บ ๐ง๐ช๐ฏ๐ฅ๐ด ๐ช๐ต๐ด ๐ฉ๐ฐ๐ฎ๐ฆโ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐ณ๐๐๐. ๐ท๐๐๐. ๐ฌ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐.
Written by Miguel Angelo Balderas
Layout by James Jayden Delos Reyes
