12/11/2025
Inside the Mind, Motives, and Mayhem of Bullies
Bullies are everywhere. Many have personal issues they want to hide—especially problems in their relationships. On the surface they may be surrounded by people, but in reality there’s no one who truly knows them.
Bullying has always existed, but in our era we’re more aware of it and have given it labels everyone can relate to. Before, people called bullies names like bida-bida, pabibo, papampam, or epal. Now we recognize the pattern more clearly.
In schools, some students skip class because of bullying. Others remain quiet; worse, some shut down and isolate themselves. The same thing happens at work: employees stay silent or keep their heads down so they won’t attract a bully’s attention.
But my question is: are we just going to stay quiet so bullies won’t pick on us?
How can we manage them? This article shares only my personal experience — I’m not an expert, just offering observations from nearly 30 years working in Human Resources.
At work, bullies are often people in high-ranking positions. They pick on lower-level employees and make fun of them. Bullies are insecure individuals hiding behind titles. They attack others to cover their inequities and fears — often terrified of losing control.
They bully to feel better about themselves, or maybe because they’re so miserable they want others to feel miserable too.
Bullies are destructive because not everyone is wired to withstand bullying. Each of us has a threshold. When that threshold is crossed, the targeted person will begin to withdraw, may suffer emotional or mental breakdown, and often will eventually quit.
My suggestion (again, I’m not an expert): confront the bully. If the bully holds a high position, report them to your immediate supervisor, HR department, or management. If no action is taken, talk to the bully directly and ask what’s causing them to behave this way. Confrontation exposes their inner wounds; some will fall silent, others may retaliate.
Bullies should not always receive silent treatment. You can call out their behavior and make it clear it’s unacceptable. Give them feedback — a dose of their own medicine, so to speak — but stay professional and safe.
If, after confronting them, the bully continues or retaliates, leave and don’t look back. Once you expose a bully’s insecurity, they may try to bully others, but they are weakened by being called out.
This article does not intend to demean bullies. Rather, it’s a call to stand up for those who suffer in silence, hoping the bully will change. We should not be tolerant of bullying. Confront it head-on and hold bullies accountable.