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Chinamen XI, Wellington (2026)

25/03/2018

BREAKING NEWS: Steve smith caught ball tampering. Also, Chinamen XI win the third grade one day league with a classic default as Karori did not actually turn up to the ground. The match would have been a no result if they had but there we go, the silverware is ours

24/03/2018

Finals footy! Get down to karori Park today to support the boys as they try and win a grand final with 90% of the team still drunk from prize giving the night before

13/02/2018

Another great at performance by this man. Daniel Clarke guiding the chinamen to a two day win vs johnsonville bandits. 6/45. Well bowler son

12/02/2018

MATCH REPORT

Chinamen XI vs Johnsonville Bandits
@ Grenada North Park
Day 2 of 2

With nothing more than hit and giggle being played by our national team (mind the 10 day gap between T20’s) and the debacle that is the 10’s reminding us that the country has such a sick fascination with rugby that we are being forced to watch it in early February, the countries attentions turned to Chinamen cricket the Saturday just passed.

The game was set up in a tantalizing position, the Chinamen the happier team going into day 2. The Bandits would have felt that perhaps a win would have been a lot to ask but a draw was very feasible. Clouds hung over an eerily still Wellington Saturday, the threat of rain determined that if the Chinamen were able to take home their second two day win of the year, they would have to play aggressive cricket. They did, they made their intentions very clear early on.

Sethu Palaniappan and Guy Newton continued on 31 and and 65 respectively. Newton looked good to notch up his fourth Chinamen hundred when he cut a short ball effortlessly through cover off the offspinner for a boundary off just the third ball. Unfortunately, Newton had a diabolical brain explosion, charging down the track and swinging for the fences to a ball that wasn’t their. Out, stumped for 69. Sexy.

Palaniappan fell shortly after, in similar circumstances heaving across the line and getting bowled after one stayed low. Was this another Chinamen collapse? Perhaps. When Dyer fell, the Chinamen were still 20 odd runs short of parity and balls deep in a collapse. Luckily for the Chinamen, the return of Daniel Clarke, back from a suspect mouth injury meant that the Chinamen were able to get over the mark with relative ease. He once again delivered some l***y blows down the order whilst being ably supported by Hamish Vance. The fall of these two batsman meant that the tail folded pretty quickly albeit for some lovely Boultesque battin from Sean “Dilbs” Leonard. The Chinamen finishing their innings with a 26 run lead.

The Bandits started in an extremely slow fashion, racking up dot after dot. Soon after however, they were able to play a few more aggressive strokes and break away from some otherwise tight opening Chinamen bowling. At 54/0 after the first 10 overs, the Bandits were sitting pretty. This all changed with two key bowling changes from captain Coppersmith. Go to man Joel Walden was brought on at the Christain Cullen end whilst Daniel Clarke swapped ends to be at the Interislander end. The tactic worked perfectly. Clarke was able to find some movement off the deck and breached the defense of the top four batsman in quick succession, having them all fall lbw. When Clarke picked up his 5th, the Bandits had fallen from 60/0 to 67/5 in an epic collapse.

The rest was history as they say; it was all just a matter of at this stage. The lower order of the Bandits did offer a lot more than their weak core, but the job was too big as they eventually fell one by one. Walden manage to take his chances, if not for the best efforts by Mathew Dyer who put down some absolute sodas at short fine leg. He finished with 3, whilst Daniel Clarke once again fell short of an honours board effort as he picked up 6-fer. The Bandits all out for 140, Chinamen needing just 115 off the 22 remaining overs to make it back to back two day wins.

Nicholas Appleby and Sean Clarke took the attack to the Bandits opening bowlers, flailing them to all parts and made us all think of what could have been if this much aggression was shown in the first innings. Clarke was the main early aggressor, showing particular interest in slaughtering the Bandits opening bowler through the covers. He was given a life early on when slicing one of his cover drives, but the sheer force in which the ball was struck meant that the ball hit the cover fielder before he knew anything about it. Clarke and Appleby had combined beautifully to take away any doubt that the Chinamen could wrap this up. With just 25 runs to win however, Clarke tried to guide a length ball through the cordon and was caught behind for a well-compiled 49. The last rights were scripted by Appleby and Newton, Appleby posting his 50 after also being put down on 49 and Newton finishing the job by bludgeoning the ball straight back past the bowler.

This second two day victory see’s the Chinamen back to their rightful position up with the big boys of third grade. At the time of writing, they now sit second on the one day table and third putting themselves right in contention for the overall title with both Falconhawk(e) and the Super Challengers. Next week will prove to be an absolute humdinger with The Chinamen set to take on the Super Challengers at MacAlister park. Get your tickets soon for what is set up to be one of the games of the season!

06/02/2018

MATCH REPORT

Chinamen XI vs Johnsonville Bandits
@ Grenada North Park
Day 1 of 2

The Chinamen took their season to the sunny Caribbean to take on the locals of Johnsonville for the second time this season but this time, a two dayer. After a few wet days prior the Chinamen XI were looking to bowl first on a pitch that looked slightly damp and could offer something for the bowlers early on. Fortunately the opposition captain thought differently and when he won the toss, chose to have a bat.

Missing the fiery fast bowler Daniel Clarke meant that Sean Leonard was given the reigns of leading the attack along with the niggly line and length of Andrew Coppersmith with the new ball. Leonard struck early on taking the wickets of both openers, one with a mistimed pull falling into the hands of the opening bowler the other knicking out to first slip. Things could have been better for the Chinamen early doors, Clarke dropping one at first slip off the bowling of Coppersmith and another knick dropped from the hands of Sethu Palaniappan at second.

What came next may shock and surprise you.

The Chinamen XI struggled to take wickets but that didn’t matter because the Bandits had absolutely no intention of moving the game forward. At drinks the Bandits sat at 78/2 after 23 overs. Post drinks they continued to bore the hell out of the ever diminishing crowd, both batsman bringing up their 50’s and the subsequent 100 partnership. With ten overs to go, one batsman looked to up the tempo but eventually fell trying to charge the ever-dangerous Joel Walden and was stumped gleefully by Nicholas Appleby. The next 10 overs brought no intention to up the tempo at all as the Bandits made it look like the Chinamen were bowling yorker after yorker when infact, they were simply just putting it on a length and the Bandits were blocking it out. With red ink in sight, the Bandits number 3 fell to a pretty dodgy looking lbw decision, perhaps made to punish the batsman for such a selfish innings, he fell for 85 off 236 balls, questionable in the first innings. Eventually the innings came to an end and lunch was taken, J’ville Bandits finishing on 203/5 dec. after their 50 first innings overs.

The incumbents of Nicholas Appleby and Sean Clarke once again strode to the crease, looking to build a solid platform for the middle order to then build up a lead. Drama struck early as Sean Clarke forgot once again that cricket involved a bat and had his off stump sent cartwheeling, adding some pressure to the start of the Chinamen XI’s innings.

Appleby and Newton were able to withstand any pressure that was put on by the opening bowlers as well as scoring at a decent clip. Appleby in particular looked in fluent control, striking some sumptuous on drives before getting over excited and having an absolute flog at a pretty innocuous ball, falling lbw for 30. Hira came to the crease at 4 and just continued from where Appleby left off, striking at a good rate. Unfortunately for Hira, much like Appleby he played one shot too many and found himself bowled by the wiley offspinning skipper of the Bandits.

Palaniappan then joined Newton at the crease to see out the remaining overs whilst not letting the run rate drop too much. Not long before the end of the day, Newton brought up another half century for the Chinamen and promptly went about losing two of Johnsonvilles balls down the banks of Grenada North. Both batsman remained not out despite some very good bowling towards the end of the day, Palaniappan on 31* and Newton 65*. The Chinamen 162/3 at the end of the days play.

With 15 overs remaining in the Chinamen’s innings, the current pair will first be looking to knock off the remaining runs and then look to build a strong lead to allow an all out assault on the Bandits in the second innings. Rain is forecast for Saturday so bring your brolly, but hopefully the rain stays clear and you wont need to use it.

Until next week.

Goodbye

06/02/2018

The Chinamen XI with a fantastic two day win over Eastern Suburbs Smoking Pineapples by 9 runs (CXI 81ao, 223ao. SP 135ao, 161ao. Leonard 5/65, Walden 7/49) also notable as the debut of Chinamen speed dealers on day 2 - 27/01/18

06/02/2018

MATCH REPORT

Chinamen XI vs Eastern Suburbs Smoking Pineapples
@ Macalister park
Day 2 of 2

It is not very often in ones life that you get a day as special as what was put on show for day 2 of the Chinamen’s encounter against the Eastern Suburbs Smoking Pineapples. However, the Chinamen are a different breed, the exciting brand of aggressive Chinamen cricket that inspired Brendon McCullum’s change of tactics to allow New Zealand to reach the revered 2015 World Cup final means that we are often treated to some pretty special moments on the finest grounds in Wellington. Macalister park added another chapter to what is a burgeoning association with Chinamen cricket.

Going into day 2 the Chinamen had started to fashion a lead just shy of 50 for the loss of 3 wickets after being bowled out for just 81 in the first innings. Just like in the garages of Aro Valley, there was a sense of something really special brewing, perhaps an APA? Or a more summery sour? At the end of the day, perhaps the Smoking Pineapples were the only ones drinking a fruity sour, whilst the Chinamen were drinking a sweet Asahi (yes, I am going to use a Chinese/Japanese/Asian joke in 2018).

The day started as a tribute to the early 2000’s duo of Virender Sehwag and Rahul Dravid as Bunsi Hira and Raman Singh resumed their innings. Hira, starring as Sehwag struck boundary after boundary early on whilst Singh was as solid as “the wall” at the other end. However, just like any good Bollywood film, the partnership ended in dramatic fashion as Hira flourished his blade in gamboling abandon and was caught by a very deep sweeper. After this partnership, the Chinamen saw the loss of Jobi Mathew, Raman Singh and a returning Hamish Vance in quick succession to leave the Chinamen looking in a spot of bother once again. Luckily, Daniel Clarke was joined by captain Coppersmith who was in absolute resolute defense in support of his more brash bashing partner Clarke who expressed himself in the most positive fashion by striking a sumptuous 40 runs. The partnership ended short of what could have been when Clarke chipped an on drive aerially to midwicket. Walden, Coppersmith and Leonard were not able to trouble the scorers too much post Clarke and the Chinamen were dismissed for 223 in the end. A much stronger effort than the first innings but still easily chaseable on what had become a much flatter track than day 1.

This is the Chinamen however, they have a habit of not making anything easy. Sean Leonard, the hero of day 1 was the first to make inroads, cleaning up the opener with a lovely inswinger between bat and pad. The Chinamen would have made a second, big scalp if Sean Clarke was able to hold on to relatively straightforward chance at first slip off his brother but allas.

Here’s where the game changed. Walden, showing supreme form this season was introduced by Coppersmith who more and more will turn to Walden when he needs that key breakthrough. Again, he delivered. Walden was able to nab two wickets just before lunch including bowling one Pineapple from the last ball of the first session.

Post lunch was the full Walden show as his wiley offspin was able to hold the batsman down and create pressure whilst the other bowlers rotated around him. Walden continually baffled the opposition batsman who tumbled around their opening batsman who had brought up his half century but struggled to find able support at the other end. When Walden foxed the big hitting Pineapple batting at 6 to be caught by Vance at deep cover the advantage had definitely turned to the Chinamen. The Chinamen had previously let games slip at this stage of the game, so it was paramount that the boys did not let the foot off the throat.

Clarke was reintroduced into the attack and supported Walden strongly having one man caught at point and plowing right through the number 10’s defense to have the Chinamen one good piece of cricket away from victory. The Pineapples opener had different thoughts however, striking boundaries almost at will whilst farming the strike fantastically. Just as it looked as though the Chinamen were about to be Michael Bevaned, Walden tossed one up, the man on 95 came hurtling down the pitch and Appleby finished it off. Stumped. The Chinamen win by 9 runs in yet another absolute two day thriller! Joel Walden 7/49, the second best figures in Chinamen history.

This saw a change in fortunes for the Chinamen who have lost two very close two day games. However, there was a different feeling to this game. After getting bowled out for 81 there was still belief in the Chinamen camp that they could pull this off, and they did. Perhaps it is the growing age of the Chinamen players, as some of the boys become men they are gaining a wisdom that was missing in the early days of the Chinamen. The earlier, younger and more brash Chinamen of the early 2010’s would have fallen apart after that first innings but now the Chinamen have replaced raw talent with sage old heads who truly know their game. Perhaps it is the added responsibility of work, girlfriends/partners/lovers and impending fatherhood (read next weeks womens weekly to find out who) but whatever it is, it is great to see these young men evolve into well-rounded adults.

27/01/2018

One of the great performances by a chinamen bowler. Joel Walden with the second best figures by a chinamen as he takes 7/49. This guy is next only to Graeme Swann in terms of best bowlers who bowl in speed dealers. Factual news. Read tomorrow to see how he did it

22/01/2018

MATCH REPORT

Chinamen XI vs Eastern Suburbs Smoking Pineapples
@ Macalister park

Either side of Christmas saw the Chinamen claim victories in the one day competition and putting them near the top of the table. This week however, thoughts were shifted to the two day stuff. A format that the Chinamen have struggled with so far in the 2017/18 season. The day was sunny and it was good to be back home on the grass decks of Macalister park. The field was looking far greener than it had before Christmas thanks to a New Years detox cleanse, a few sessions in the gym and a delightful new moisturizer that it picked up for Christmas. Despite this tinge of green, Coppersmith went with history and chose to bowl. A decision he would later learn to regret.

The first over started the collapse with Nicholas Appleby falling to the cut shot, an under edge to the keeper. Clarke the fell to a peach, pitching on the stumps an just clipping the top of off. Newton fell leaving as one jagged viciously back to pin back his off stick. Hira was trapped LBW playing one around his pads. Some sort of resistance came from Daniel Clarke who struck some l***y blows before he too fell to a beautifully bowled yorker. Im going to level with you, there weren’t a lot of positives in this Chinamen innings, it’s hard to report anything but wickets when a team is bowled out for 81 in 22 overs.

Cricket though, is not won in one innings, there are multiple innings and infact in two day cricket there are four innings! Early wickets were required if the Chinamen were going to stay in this contest, the Chianmen knew that batting on this deck was no easy task and and Sean Leonard delivered. Tawa’s favourite son struck with three early breakthroughs for the Chinamen to all of a sudden raise hopes that perhaps a miracle first innings lead could be on the cards. The issue though was runs were being leaked at the same time and when lunch was called, the Pineapples had found themselves at 60/3 thanks to some strikes taking advantage of the even smaller than normal boundaries of Macaliser park.

Drama unfolded after lunch however when the set Pineapples opener ran himself out when he forgot how big his lunch was and thus restricting his attempted second run, the Chinamen were given a sniff. You don’t give the Chinamen a sniff. Wickets fell at regular intervals from this point on and eventually the Chinamen were able to prize out all ten Pineapple wickets with the lead being restricted to 50 runs and Sean Leonard rewarded for his attacking bowling style with 5/65.

With plenty of overs still to bat, the Chinamen had the opportunity to make up for their poor efforts in the first innings on the very same day. Nicholas Appleby and Sean Clarke set about this in extremely positive fashion. The two openers plundered the opening bowlers and in double quick time were able to wipe away any deficit. Unfortunately, not long after the scores were leveled, Appleby was dismissed to the offspinner, top edging a sweep shot. A mini collapse then came with both Clarke and Newton playing unnecessarily aggressive shots not long out from the close of play and all of a sudden the Chinamen were 3 down with a lead of 30. The ship was steadied by Hira and Singh at the end of the day to give the Chinamen XI a 47 run lead and 7 wickets in hand. Whilst still probably the least happy of the two teams going into the second day, the Chinamen can take solace over the week that the have managed to claw themselves into a position where they are not completely out of this game. With sunny weather forecast for the rest of the week, the batsman can hope for some potentially easier batting conditions, post something competitive and then let our fearsome bowlers rip.

Tune in next week to what should be a tantalizing contest.

22/01/2018

Congrats to CXI #7 Sean Leonard for career best figures of 5/65 over the weekend against smoking pineapples

22/01/2018

MATCH REPORT

Chinamen XI vs Onslow Cricket Club
@ Ian Galloway

Happy New Year to all! How’s your holiday been? Get up to much? Go anywhere interesting? How was your Christmas? Any New Years resolutions? Mine has been to keep the fans more in touch with what’s going on in Chinamen cricket. It’s off to a rough start but hopefully I can pull through and keep you all in check.

The early January rain meant that the Chinamen were forced to once again play post Christmas cricket at Ian Galloway as the grass wickets were deemed unfit for play on the first week back. With no fear of the artificial pitch deteriorating, skipper Andrew Coppersmith won the toss (albeit after a false start caused by the coin landing sideways) and elected to bat. Openers Sean Clarke and Nick Appleby got the Chinamen off to a rollicking start; with Clarke in particular playing some dreamy drives over the infield. One in particular, sailing all the way over extra cover for a whopper. A great start to the post Christmas period seemed to be in order, Clarke and Appleby reaching a 100 partnership before drama struck when Appleby got the inside edge of his blade and the ball rolled of his pad and onto the stumps. This triggered an all too familiar sight of a Chinamen collapse. First there was Clarke, the ball after being involved in a mix up lofted a drive to short extra cover. Newton fell not long after. His demise in similar fashion to Appleby, Chinamen 132/3 at drinks.

Post drinks were not much better. Hira hauled out to deep mid-wicket when the situation did not suit at all, Matthew Dyer did not last long after launching the bowler over wide long on and from there on the tail offered little resistance. Eventually the Chinamen scrapped to a disappointing 178 all out, well short of the 300+ score that looked on the cards when the openers were going along nicely.

A quick turn around in spirits was required to defend a small target on a hard pitch. The ball was thrown to Daniel Clarke, as it is in every game to start the attack off. He did not disappoint. After to gentle away swingers outside off, the cunning Clarke then switched to an inswinger and hurled the ball towards the stumps. The batsman was dumbfounded as he saw his middle stump cartwheeling behind him and the slips running up to congratulate a pumped up fast bowler. The game was on.

As the saying goes, two and three fell and the Chinamen were right in the hunt. After surviving a disputable lbw decision, one that the Chinamen could not review as the technology was unavailable at Ian Galloway park on the day. The Onslow number three batsman looked to be in control. This was, until captain Coppersmith bought himself on and disrupted his stumps. In another tactically genius play, Coppersmith bought on his trump card in Joel Walden to kill off the middle order. He did so with immediate effect. By the time drinks came around Onslow required another 70 runs with just three wickets in hand, the Chinamen had this all but wrapped up.

However, one must never rest on their laurels. The Chinamen had let games like this slip before and when catches were continuously dropped in the most village way, something that we would not expect from such a professional unit. Heads started to drop. All of a sudden Onslow were just 12 runs from victory with their three wickets still in hand. A final throw of the dice was in order, Coppersmith threw his legspinner the ball and simply said, “Win me this cricket game”. Jobi Mathew responded by tossing the ball well in the air and enticing the batsman to loft the ball to deep midwicket who promptly took the catch. A throw in anger and a educational exclamation of “That’s how you catch a fu***ng cricket ball boys!” seemed to spur the lads on as Mathew once again made the batsman draw an error and luck was finally on Walden’s side when the final catch was taken and the Chinamen XI took the spoils with 10 runs to spare.

Elation and amazement swept the ground as the boys were able to ni**le themselves to victory. A trait that has been well entrenched in Chinamen XI culture over the past few season. The strong one day record was in tact for another day.

Chinamen XI

25/03/2018

24/03/2018

13/02/2018

12/02/2018

06/02/2018

06/02/2018

06/02/2018

27/01/2018

22/01/2018

22/01/2018

22/01/2018

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