Khandallah City F.C

19/01/2024

THE RETURN OF SUNDAY LEAGUE IS HERE

Wives, grand uncles and distant cousins will be down in masses to witness the Suburbia derby.

Khandallah City FC vs North Wellington FC

The lads have been putting vigorous hours into mid-season training, led by fitness coach Brad.

We’ve got an exclusive from the man himself to help some of the up & coming youth players in the area.

Brad sais “Yea mate fitness is pretty important, we had a regime which involved some ferocious piss-sinking. The way I see it, the lads are going to be dustier than a residential job site in cannons creek regardless, so they may as well be good at it”

In all honesty, admin has ditched the boys this weekend to force a yardie down star right back, Jack Galvin.

Admin has also forgotten his laptop so the lineup graphic this week will be going a miss.

19/12/2023

ALL WE WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS KHANDALLAH 🎅

F**k me what a result.

Khandallah City 8-4 Karori Boomlords

The lads came out guns blazing against a team that looked nothing like the reverse fixture.

Spotting some familiar faces and central league ring ins lining up for the opposition sent a tingle of fear down the teams spine as the whistle blew to begin the first 45.

However it wasn’t long before the deadlock was broken with Oliver Diaz rocketing home a nice finish with his first touch of the game, set up by the silky run of Fabian.

Soon after the floodgates opened, with goals from Fabian (x2), Aleksey (x1) and a h***y toe poke from right back Henning.

It looked like we would be heading into half-time with a 5-0 lead but the footballing gods decided to gift a goal to the opposition from a corner that wasn’t cleared. Shouts for a foul on the keeper fell on deaf ears.

Keeper Mitch decided to ask the ref about the call at the break and was told “The strikers are doing their job, maybe you should do yours”

The KCFC board agrees with the Ref. Mitch, harden up p***y.

The second half looked dicey as two more quick goals for Karori brought the score to 5-3.

Then we subbed Fabian back on… he soon made sure to pop up with two back to back assists, the final one being to set up Oli to smash home a hattrick with the final kick of the game.

Goals ⚽️:

Oliver: ⚽️⚽️⚽️
Fabian: ⚽️⚽️ 🅰️🅰️🅰️🅰️
Aleksey ⚽️
Billy: ⚽️
Henning ⚽️🚀

MVP:

Fabian

It’s not often you score a hatty and don’t get MVP so honorable mention to Oliver ⚽️⚽️⚽️

15/12/2023

Khandallah City vs Karori Boomlords

The lads hot off the heels of a 3-1 win are gearing up for an exciting return fixture against the Boomlords.

The previous fixture saw KCFC go down 5-1 in a performance which left a lot to be desired.

However, since then the lads have been firing and are coming into tomorrow's match looking to make a statement in the final outing before the Christmas break.

Holiday season means we've had to make a few changes to the line-up as seen below, with a very strong eleven hitting the turf tomorrow.

UP THE KHANDALLAH

11/12/2023

Khandallah City 3-1 Summer Deez 🚀🚀

SCREAMERS ON SCREAMERS

Khandallah City came out firing in last Sundays game against Summer Deez, with nothing but fu***ng bangers hitting the back of the net.

The first half consisted of the usual KCFC antics, lots of shots, lots of missed chances and lots of Matty yelling.

It looked like we were bound for a repeat of the last time we played them, with the ball seeming to hate the net more than Winnie P hates benefits.

However, up steps Dan McClean with a trivela from 30 yards into the top bins, rumours of it being a toe poke were heard and disregarded swiftly.

Half time comes around and the boys lead 1-0 with everything to play for. Recently appointed manager Jett, opted to do something never seen before in Khandallah history and play a high line.

Although our centre back Liam did say and I quote “this high line is scaring me” about five minutes into the half, IT FU***NG WORKED!

Summer Deez got Summer Dis Press and we were rewarded shortly after with a free kick that Noah nicely slotted away (video in comments)

Not long after, Noah doubled his tally with a volley hit sweetly into the bottom corner.

UP THE KHANDALLAH

MVP: Noah
Honorable mentions: Dan, Jack

Goals:

Noah ⚽️⚽️
Dan ⚽️

08/12/2023

Khandallah City vs Summer Deez

The return fixture sees an in-form KCFC side coming into the weekend with heads held high.

Last time we saw a 1-1 draw with a goal right at the death for Khandallah.

Injured winger Jett has been thrown the managerial ropes to keep him busy and is set for his sideline debut - hopefully bagging his first 3 pts along the way.

The side remains unchanged from last week's eleven bar Toby, who is unavailable and has been replaced in the starting line-up by the one and only Henning.

Graphic courtesy of AP Sports Photography

03/12/2023

Khandallah City FC 3 v 2 Turkish Rug

The lads came out battling today, it was a tough ask after denting a crate of beer yesterday but we rallied and went to war.

Two early goals put the boys ahead, and put the Rug on the back foot. The lads have been nervous for this game thinking the rug was unstoppable but when an unstoppable force meets an immovable object you’ll get what ever that 90 minutes was at Wellington high today.

The weather was bad, the Turkish Rug were worse and the ball was somehow the worse thing on the pitch. With the rain beating down on the lads we conceded two awful goals that bounced around in the box for what seemed like forever and no one could put a foot on it, with the scores locked at 2-2 Dan the Man dropped what could arguably be considered in contention for goal of the season, from 40 yards bottom corner and left the keeper wondering why he ever picked up the gloves in the first place.

Beautiful game of football from the lads and really proud of the hunger and the fight. The forms now looking good WDWWW
Up the Khandallah.

MVP - EVERYONE
GOALS -
Matty ⚽️⚽️
Dan ⚽️

01/12/2023

The rumors swirling around the country this week are that the national holiday one calls crate day has fallen only hours before kick off. The Khandallah City board is expecting more dust from the lads than that which fills our nanas urn, however we still must go to battle.

A crate deep, a dead v**e and probably at mermaids till close we must rally for what we consider to be the toughest game of our season so far.

Rumours swirling around the streets of Khandallah, and in the mouths of every young kid in the city that aspires to play for this beautiful football club, is that this being compared to All Whites vs Italy at the 2010 World Cup, and we all know how that ended.

The bigger you are, the harder you fall, and the higher up the ladder you are, the further you fall. Come Monday there will a change at the top.

The club has turned to our academy players and fresh imports to try and make up for the lack of life left in the senior players, who we expect to show up with nothing in the tank. However, the show must go on.

Up the Khandallah

2:30pm Kick-Off at WHS

26/11/2023

6 Goal thriller at the WHS ground ⛑️

Yesterday saw the Movember derby take place in fine fashion with both teams firing

We started off on the back foot after an absolute rocket from the Geckos FC which left keeper Mitch helpless

Not long after we were given a gift of goal after an error from their man between the sticks and the playing field was once again level.

The lads were looking dangerous on the counter however Jett forgot that the ball is meant to go INTO the net and not onto the fence next to it.

Not long after he was punished for his actions by the footballing gods and came out with a dislocated knee

Subsequently the game was called off at 3-3 and the paramedics were called in to fix him up

Overall mental health was the winner at the end of the day - KCFC has agreed that each player will donate $5 to the Geckos cause on top of their total goals conceded and supporter fund

Goals:

Oli: ⚽️⚽️
Matty: ⚽️

MVP: Oli ⚽️

26/11/2023

Coming soon 👀

Sneak peak of some content creation for Khandallah City F.C 🎯

24/11/2023

Khandallah City vs Geckos FC

Movember Mania

10am - WHS - Sunday 26th Nov 23

Lineup Below:

23/11/2023

Khandallah City 5-1 Guineseuss Jr

5 Days later and the admin has decided to do a write up

Last Sunday was a sight for sore heads, 11 dusty blokes made it to the notorious WHS and put in a shift.

Although it was a slog, the lads got up and did the mahi required to dig out a result.

Goals:

Oli ⚽️⚽️
Noah: ⚽️🚀
Jett: ⚽️
Own Goal: ⚽️

MVP:

Aleksey 🐐

Most shots off target:
Jett