29/01/2023
Awhile back (a few months now) my house was a part of an angry fued against whanau against whanau and this has taken a huge toll in my safe haven to be broken into to been not so safe at all this keeps reocurring in my mind all the time and im glad i just left with my kids before they were subjected to the worst violent attack ever and yes theres always 3 parts to a story but mine is genuine…. These actions have me subside into my crabby shell for awhile venturing out here n there but still keeping to myself……..
Im really nervous to start back at the gym tomorrow morning its been awhile and ive collected alot of foodles weight upon my lovely frame 😂 and became a tad unfit (breathing heavily just walking to the mailbox n back) 🥹 but im 1 to not give up and up n dwns n round n rounds i go.
I know for a qualified personal trainer i shld know better but im just human and i also find it difficult to get to the gym when i dont feel comftable with the people that are there sometimes i feel like they judging me so i dont want to go i turn back into my crab like shell and hide and eat i know whats good for me and i know whats not but smetimes i fall back into old habits and frustraitions get the better of me
my health is an on going battle in and out of hospital still waiting for that all important life threatening surgery as they cldnt do it before also my bby waiting for her health appoinments as she has hypotonia and needs her bones to be tested as well all these life things that happen i know i shldnt get them twisited and dwell but i do. Im only human and if ya know me well and well in deed i am a caring plain and simple nice person to all, and i cant stand drama it makes me stay in my room 🙋♀️
Just thought a little back round story of how im feeling about getting stuck ryt back into helping myself for myself is when im most happy and the gym becomes my haven but smetimes people put me off from going there but im a push through what i know will hurt for the now and get my mind n body stronger than ever in my 4 week kick my ass into gear challenge and bring like minded good people along side with me we got this together we are stronger for eachother
I know im not alone in how im feeling and theres people out there that wish someone was feeling the same way they are well i tell ya now im feeling that same way and im here when u need me
5am wake up ive got this lol
Ps: pls no du***ss comments and screenshots n making more drama im just not cut out for all the ugly in this world
