01/11/2025
These are the things I have learned over the last four or five years and try to teach in my lessons and clinics… so seeing Jody Hartstone do the most wonderful job of cutting through all the jargon to the essence of what it’s all about and sharing it, absolutely fills my heart!
I highly recommend you read her posts on the Equine catalyst page. Thank you, Jody Hartstone For your perception and eloquence. 
Sunday Musings: What Does It Really Mean to Feel Safe?
If you’ve been following my recent posts — especially the ones about being safe from us and safe with us — you’ll know the word “safety” has sparked some great discussion.
Many people quite rightly think of safety as avoiding harm: not getting kicked, bitten, or trampled. It’s a big part of what I do every day as a coach — helping riders and horses stay physically safe. In fact, safety is the very first of the ISES Ten Principles of Horse Training: Regard for horse and human safety.
But lately, through personal development work, watching Warwick Schiller’s work, and my own study of Polyvagal Theory, I’ve come to realise there’s another layer — one that most of us never used to talk about...
It’s the kind of safety that happens inside.
For most of my career, I thought safety was something you could see — helmets, boots, distance, discipline. But a few years ago, I began to learn what it means for the body itself to feel safe.
Polyvagal Theory describes the nervous system as a kind of internal surveillance system, always asking one question: “Am I safe?”
When the answer is no, the body prepares for battle or escape — heart racing, muscles tight, breath shallow. When the answer is yes, the system shifts gears: heart rate slows, breathing deepens, and we can rest, learn, and connect.
Neuroscientist Stephen Porges explains it this way:
“Feelings of safety are the product of cues of safety that down-regulate threat reactions and neutralise defensive strategies.”
And Deb Dana calls that ventral-vagal state “the place where we feel grounded, organised, and ready to meet the day. Life feels manageable; we see options and have hope.”
That’s what internal safety feels like.
Horses have nervous systems, too. A horse that looks “quiet” can still be frozen inside — not safe, just shut down.
When my own nervous system is buzzing — anxious, frustrated, or distracted — the horse feels that. Their internal system asks, “Am I safe with you?”
True safety between horse and human isn’t just about preventing accidents. It’s about creating a shared state where both nervous systems can breathe. Where neither of us is waiting for the next explosion, correction, or misunderstanding.
That’s the kind of safety I want to bring into the arena:
Physical safety — so no one gets hurt.
Emotional safety — so horse and rider can learn.
Internal safety — so both bodies can rest and trust.
Next time you step into the paddock or arena, take a moment before you pick up the reins.
Notice your breath.
Take stock of things around you you can see, hear, smell, feel and taste. Ask your own nervous system: “Do I feel safe in this moment?”
Because the horse will already be asking that question about you.