Tahuna Football Club

10/06/2026

Football returns this weekend, assuming Tāhunanui has completed its transition back from inland sea to sports field. It’s still damp, the birds have done some casual landscaping, and anyone expecting a clean passing surface clearly hasn’t been down there lately.

🔵 The 1st XI are looking to keep their unbeaten run at the top going against Richmond, who made us work hard for a 2–1 last time. Another tidy little arm wrestle likely, ideally with fewer sideline heart episodes for the supporters.

⚪ The 2nd XI get FC Nelson Karenni, who gave us the full guided tour of Neale Park last time we met. We’re still thin on numbers and injuries are taking their toll, so if everyone survives warm-up we’re already winners.

🔵 The 3rds are after a bit of revenge against Loco, which is always dangerous talk from a team that has only recently discovered passing to feet. To be fair, the lads are starting to click, and some of the football has looked suspiciously intentional.

⚪ The 4th XI keep nudging up the table and now meet the Wanabies. Quietly getting it done would suit us nicely.

🔵 The Womens take on Suburbs 2nds at Tahunanui with numbers taking a hit through injuries, departures, and some very wholesome baby-related absences.

⚪ The Masters are chasing victory against Victory at Victory, which is either a fixture or a badly written riddle. Somewhere, Pete Hampson's hamstring is already nervous.

In the juniors, the U18 Development XI keep doing the right thing: developing, learning, and reminding everyone that youth football is senior football with better knees.

⚪ Tahuna Matata are looking to get back to winning ways after a goalless draw with Golden Bay, also known as 60 minutes of “surely one of these goes in.”

🔵 The All Stars are improving every week, with some great training starting to show. Motueka Panthers next, so tidy touches and not all chasing the same ball would be lovely.

⚪ And the Tigers are flying and now go hunting Rabbits. Sounds cruel, but this is football, not a petting zoo.

Up, up Tahuna! 💙

04/06/2026

All junior and senior football is cancelled this weekend.

The fields are already underwater, and with more rain on the way, the decision has been made to cancel all football.

At this point, it feels like the fields only need to hear a weather forecast before they start flooding.

Stay dry out there, team.💙

04/06/2026

Quiz night at Sprig + Fern Tahuna tonight!

We’re raising funds for our U13 Girls, who are heading off to tournaments in Christchurch and Blenheim this winter.

Book a table if you haven’t already, bring your smartest mates, and prepare to argue loudly over questions none of you actually know the answer to.

There are also some awesome raffle prizes up for grabs, so even if your quiz team plays like it forgot its boots (looking at you, Oliver Tissington), you might still walk away with a win.

And if you can’t make it tonight, send some money down with someone who is… every bit helps get the girls on the road.

Are you always right? Have you ever wondered how you'd do on The Chase? Do you like beer, good causes, and randomly winning prizes? 🤠

Well... if you have $5 and answered yes to any of the above, then we want to see you at our pub quiz! Whether you know everything or nothing at all or just want something fun to do on a week night, everyone is welcome and no reservations necessary. Tonight's quiz is supporting so come on down for a feed, facts, and supporting our local football! ⚽ Quiz starts 7pm.

04/06/2026

Weekend fixture round up!

⚪ The 1sts went over the hill expecting a nice day out against the bottom side, which is always how football lures you into a small emotional ambush. Nick and James got first-half goals, before Golden Bay made the second half deeply unpleasant by attacking our goal relentlessly. Jepo was solid at the back and even managed to bag himself a goal, albeit at the wrong end. 2-1 win. Still undefeated. Nice work.

🔵 The 2nds beat Richmond 1–0 at KFC Park, with Ross poking one in from close enough to claim he “just wanted it more” without anyone being able to argue. Will Matthews went in goal, survived the early relationship-building period with the ball, then kept a clean sheet like he’d been doing it for years.

⚪ The 3rds got a proper result at Saxton, taking a point off a Suburbs side that had put seven past them earlier in the season. Tahuna had chances to nick it, Suburbs had chances to ruin it, and in the end 1–1 felt like the sort of scoreline you can take to the Sprig without needing to stare into your pint.

🔵 The 4ths gave Harry Kane a guard of honour before his big karaoke-Spurs-Canada-Walsall world tour, then actually had the decency to win the game as well. Ryan scored three and Harry got the fairytale last goal in a solid 4-0 win.

⚪ FC Nelson were a bit light on numbers but still put in a proper shift, defended well, and made Tahuna work for it early. Unfortunately for them, Ruby had clearly arrived with some news, a deadline, and absolutely no interest in sharing the goals around... five for the afternoon, which is one way to make sure everyone remembers your last game for a while.

🔵 Masters knew they had a tough afternoon ahead when Ollie arrived without boots... a brave move in a sport still clinging to the outdated idea of footwear. Ben found him a pair at the book fair, which felt less like match prep and more like dressing a co**se for an open casket. Tahuna went 3–0 down before Kev and Diego dragged it back to 3–2, but it’s hard to start well when your keeper’s pre-match routine is apparently “I hope feet are optional.”

Read all the match reports here: https://www.tahunafc.co.nz/match-report/30-may-2026

29/05/2026

Weekend footy previews!

🔵 1st XI head over the hill to take on Golden Bay, with the unbeaten run still clinging on nicely. It’s never a straightforward trip — part football match, part scenic pilgrimage.

⚪ The 2nds take on Richmond Reserves with a squad best described as “technically enough humans.”

🔵 3rds take on Suburbs 2nd XI at Saxton, and this week they’ve got a few subs, which is a pleasant development for anyone who enjoys oxygen.

⚪ 4ths host FC Nelson 4th XI at Tahuna after last week’s win over Motueka, so naturally there’s a faint smell of confidence in the air. Someone will need to open a window before it gets out of hand.

🔵 The Women are at home against FC Nelson Diamonds, which should be a good test for them. The brief is fairly simple: make it uncomfortable, keep it tidy, and see how sparkly the Diamonds feel after a bit of Tahuna magic.

⚪ Masters head to Richmond to take on the Bogans. Expect warm-ups of varying commitment, strong verbal contributions, and several bodies negotiating terms with their hamstrings.

In Junior and Youth footy:

🔵 Development lads have a tough one against FC Nelson Goodfellas. They’ve been playing some really good football without quite getting the results, which is frustrating, but something is building there, even if the scoreboard says otherwise.

⚪ Tahuna Matata Girls are also heading over the hill, taking on the Golden Bay Mini Maidens. They’ve made a strong start to the season, and this is another good little test for them.

🔵 All Stars take on Wakefield Stingers. Sounds lively enough, and hopefully the football lives up to the names.

⚪ Tigers host Richmond Rovers at Tahuna. Should be full of running, enthusiasm, and the usual junior football mystery where half the team somehow ends up around the ball and the other half is studying the grass.

Get down and support our teams! Up up!

26/05/2026

All the action from last weekend's senior fixtures.

⚪ The 1sts drew 1–1 with Suburbs Reserves at a packed KFC Park, with the unbeaten run surviving its third test in eight days, a schedule designed by someone who hates hamstrings. Suburbs scored early, Ethan rescued the point, and a number of penalty shouts were quietly lowered into an unmarked grave behind S1.

🔵 2nds went down 2–1 to Suburbs, despite 11 bodies, one-legged Joe Walton on linesman duty, and Pedro doing his best to turn the game into a minor workplace incident. Tahuna got level before halftime, but Suburbs nicked it late, with a last minute goal that arrived with all the warmth of a parking ticket.

⚪ the 3rds fell to FC Nelson Development, with one substitute, several misplaced shots, and Tom Dunn doing enough goalkeeping to deserve annual leave.

🔵 Our 4th XI beat Motueka 1–0, in the sort of away win that makes you proud afterwards and physically unwell during.

⚪ Women’s XI beat Motueka 7–0, with Nik finally scoring, Ruby running the show, Sophie grabbing three, and Roxy calling her goal before doing it. Motueka kept battling, their keeper had a huge game despite the scoreline, and Tahuna simply had one of those days where everything clicked.

🔵 Masters drew 2–2 with unbeaten Suburbs Masters. Diego curled in a beauty, Paddy made it two, and Ollie began personally enforcing the eight-second rule with Count von Count energy. Tahuna were 2–0 up, glory was briefly visible, then a late penalty arrived and everyone remembered football is a cruel mistress with boots on.

Read all the match reports here: https://www.tahunafc.co.nz/match-report/23-may-2026

24/05/2026

Big cheers to Jens Hansen for backing our U13 girls-only team, Tahuna Matata.

Yes, that Jens Hansen… Nelson legends, makers of beautiful jewellery, and famously responsible for a certain ring that caused a fair bit of drama in Middle Earth.

We’re stoked to have a brilliant local business supporting girls’ football at Tahuna. Thanks heaps to the team at Jens Hansen for helping Tahuna Matata get out there and do their thing.

Give them a look here:
www.jenshansen.com 💍

One team to rule them all?

20/05/2026

All your upcoming weekend fixures!

🔵 The 1sts take on Suburbs SPL Reserves, looking to keep the unbeaten run alive. The last meeting was 0-0, which was either a defensive masterclass or 90 minutes of attacking players running out of ideas.

⚪ The 2nds are on S2 against Suburbs 2nds. The smaller pitch has been well received by several players who treat running as a personal attack.

🔵 Our 3rds will be keen to keep standards high against FC Nelson Reserves, preferably with a few more bodies this week. That is unless Stu’s goalkeeping antics have made several players quietly consider early retirement.

⚪ The 4ths make the lonely pilgrimage to Motueka for Tahuna’s only away fixture of the weekend. Best of luck to them, and to whoever gets stuck sitting next to Zach.

🔵 The women host the Motueka Angels after a loss last weekend, but one they can still be pretty happy with. Plenty to build on, and hopefully a bit more reward for the work this time.

⚪ Masters take on league leaders Suburbs on S3. It’s a decent test, and possibly a good weekend for the deep heat to show some leadership.

In junior footy, our Development side host Suburbs U16 Academy in what should be a good test for the lads. Plenty of running, plenty of learning, and at least one coach saying “just keep the ball” while everyone immediately does the opposite.

Tahuna Matata take on Suburbs Blue Diamonds, looking to keep their perfect start to the season going.

The All Stars have Mapua at 9am, which is an early start for everyone except the parents who have already been awake since 5:47 for no good reason. Coffee will be doing a lot of heavy lifting.

And in the 11th Grade, the Tigers and Pumas meet in the battle of the p***y cats. Expect plenty of energy, mild confusion, and at least one proud adult treating it like El Clásico with smaller socks.

20/05/2026

Tuesday night bonus fixture!

🔵⚪ Tuesday evening saw our 1st XI beat Richmond 2–1 under lights at Jubilee Park, on a cold, dewy night with enough lingering smoke to make the place feel like a low-budget football hooliganism documentary. Tahuna started well, though Richmond’s rapid number 9 caused a few early admin issues before Will produced a big first-half save with a full starfish extension of the left leg.

Luc opened the scoring before halftime with a lovely cut-in and finish into the bottom corner, rudely bringing actual football to a Tuesday night catch-up fixture. Richmond levelled when James finally connected cleanly with something other than an opponent’s shin, unfortunately sending a close-range rocket into our own net via Will’s face.

Jepo then stepped up over a free kick, pictured the far top corner, and delivered something closer to Beckham’s accountant, but with Adam and Mark causing enough confusion in front of the keeper, it bounced in apologetically. They all count. 2–1 Tahuna, top of the table and unbeaten after the first round, which remains deeply suspicious behaviour.

Read the full report here: https://www.tahunafc.co.nz/match-report/19-may-2026

20/05/2026

Weekend fixture round up!

⚪ 1st XI beat Rangers 4–3 away in Blenheim, which we think is the first time in 11 seasons the boys have managed that particular bit of witchcraft over the hill, long enough now to qualify as local folklore. Seth Watson, drafted into goal due to the usual “where have all the keepers gone” crisis, heroically saved a late penalty before Gregor nicked the winner.

🔵 The 2nd XI beat FC Nelson 2nds 2–0. Sam Fitz was excellent at right back, Joe protected the defence on one leg, and Pedro turned up for his first game of the season, scored twice, and stole the MVP awards.

⚪ 3rd XI lost 5–2 to Suburbs Seals, and with seven players away, a bare 11 at kick-off, and Stu in goal, the pre-match plan was mostly “see what happens and don’t die.” The first half was genuinely sharp, Wayne scored, Seals missed a pen, and for a while everyone briefly believed in nice things. Then the second half happened.

🔵 4th XI beat Suburbs Sky Blues 4–2. The lads raced to a 2–0 lead, decided the afternoon was done, then generously allowed chaos back into the room. Mike restored order at the back, Ryan got his first of the season, and Adam finished things off while the keeper went left about three business days early.

⚪ Women’s XI went down 2–1 to Mapua after a massive battle. The Cougars are strong this season and made Tahuna work for every inch. Ruby’s chip just before halftime was lovely, EJ was amazing in goal, and Rebecca produced a 50-metre chase-down that looked exhausting even from the sideline.

🔵 Masters lost 5–4 to Richmond in a nine-goal thriller. The youthful Diego bagged a hat-trick, Paddy scored one, and Paddy also brought snapper, so assume he got Man of the Match for that. There was an indirect free kick near the goal line, a goalkeeper discovering the box has boundaries, and Richmond eventually putting everyone out of their misery.

Read all the match reports here: https://www.tahunafc.co.nz/match-report/16-may-2026