Lucy Bekker

21/09/2022

I CAN’T believe my ex made me believe this 🙄

When I was younger I was with someone not so good.

OK bad.

OK terrible and emotionally manipulative 😅

Have you ever heard a woman saying that he “puts up with my crazy”? (BIG ick)

Well, in my relationship it was even more subtle than that.

He used to say that I needed his “logical” to balance out my “emotional”.

And because he was “older and wiser” than me, that s**t took hold.

He made me believe for YEARS that I was incapable of reasoning logically (lol wtf, like literally until I was in my 20’s 😂).

That I only ever reasoned with my emotions and therefore my thoughts and feelings weren’t as good or important or trustworthy and that I had to slow down and think before taking action.

He made me feel too big, too much. Even later when I was with other boyfriends, all my grand gestures were labelled as “kind of intense”.

Putting aside the fact that we were literally teenagers figuring out a prefrontal cortex was, imagine if I knew what I knew now.

That my ability to
♥️Feel things deeply,
♥️Go above and beyond for the people I love,
♥️Accept love without questioning why it’s given,
♥️Love relentlessly without holding back,
♥️Say exactly what I’m thinking without editing my feelings,
♥️Give without expectations,

That all these things are the reason I have a marriage that will never leave the honeymoon phase.

And it’s what I’m going to teach you to do over the next 3 months of 1:1 coaching.

How to lean into the depths of your heart, to love and be loved, to accept the parts of you that demand a wild love instead of just being excellent roommates with your husband.

If you're a married woman that is craving that newly wed feeling again, the next step is to go to lucybekker.com/marriagecoaching for details on how to apply to work with me

19/09/2022

Story time! This one drunken little sentence is the reason that Carl and I have such a happy little life ♥️

It's story time lovers! This little drunken moment between me and Carl COMPLETELY changed the way we live our life as a married couple- and I can pretty much...

08/09/2022

STOP following this popular marriage advice 🚩

Ever heard the marriage advice "go on a date night once a week?

Well, I want you to STOP doing that.

It's not that it's bad marriage advice exactly, or that as a relationship coach I don't think you should put in the effort and go out with your husband.

It's that marriage is so much more than romantic date night ideas.

If I had one piece of advice for newlyweds, it would be to schedule love every day of the week, not just give each other scraps of attention ONCE a week.

Watch the full video to see what three things I think you should do instead of scheduling a date night!

Ever heard the marriage advice "go on a date night once a week? Well, I want you to STOP doing that. It's not that it's bad marriage advice exactly, or that ...

05/09/2022

I've always been a dancer but...

One of my earliest memories was running around a stage in my older sister's baby ballet showcase, and my other sister and I made up dance routines to Where Is The Love by Black Eyed Peas to perform at summer camp. I even did one term of jazz ballet as a kid where they basically had to shoe horn me into the blue spandex outfit for the performance 😂

As a teenager, I got into ballroom dancing... but I never committed to it long enough to really get good and compete.

My teacher BEGGED me to keep going because I had a natural talent for it, but I'd get busy or bored or tired or never had the right partner.

It wasn't until I got to university and started learning modern jive that I really let myself fall in love with dancing and pushing myself to compete.

I would spend all my surplus income on classes and dance shoes and travelling to competitions around the country. I started WINNING all those competitions because I would drink up any feedback teachers had and went to all the workshops I could.

I lived for weekly classes. I finished my assignments early so I could go catch flights to compete. I took on extra shifts as a student to pay for it all.

These days, I compete about six times a year, have friends all around the country, and am still absolutely obsessed (I did a competition just this weekend and it was SO good 😍).

And it occurred to me that this relationship with dancing is like your marriage.

It can't be amazing if you don't commit to it.

It can't be epic if it's not the priority.

I only did a term of jazz ballet. I only did ballroom dancing when it suited me. I was part of the hip hop club at school but wouldn't run it.

And it's the same with your relationship.

You have to live and breathe your partner.

I chose work that lets me be with him whenever I need to. I say no to extra things if I don't feel connected with him at the time. I organise money around having fun and stability in our marriage. I prioritise our relationship above everything else.

That's what it takes to be married AF: all of you.

This is just your reminder going into the week to put your relationship first ♥️

01/09/2022

Here's what's coming up for Married AF members this month 😍 [Brunch this Sunday!]

After talking about money in August, I'm getting ready to talk about S*X this month 🥵💦 specifically, what you can do if you or your partner isn't in the mood the same amount as you ❤️

As well as the monthly masterclass (which is worth the monthly subscription alone!), you'll have access to me both in the private Facebook group AND on our monthly marriage group coaching calls ✌️

The Married AF Membership is the easiest way to start coaching with me if you're not ready to work in depth for 3 months but you still want to be building an epic marriage.

Join at lucybekker.com/marriedaf
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26/07/2022

Doors are OPEN to the Married Af Membership! 😍🥂⁠
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And first up for the month of August we are talking MONEY 💸⁠
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My heart is RAGING to start sharing the fu***ng epicness that is my relationship and how I pursue my marriage so relentlessly. ⁠
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How I communicate so openly. ⁠
How I love so deeply without holding back. ⁠
How I put so much energy in, every single day. ⁠
How we stopped worrying about money so much. ⁠
How I drastically improved my s*x life without just having more. ⁠
How I get my needs met so well without feeling selfish. ⁠
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Not only do you get the support of other married women (and probably a lot of mimosas if you come to live meet ups!) but you get an in depth behind the scenes look into my relationship- something I'm not even really offering clients necessarily! ⁠
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If you are craving the married AF vibes and want to find other people that are just as obsessed as you and I, then step this way.⁠
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Go to lucybekker.com/marriedaf for more details on what's included in the monthly membership ♥️

05/10/2021

What if you could hack your habits for work life balance?

In this week's video, I am going through 5 ways you can use James Clear's atomic habits to get better work life balance.

You have to make work life balance the DEFAULT, you have to make it EASY to out yourself first.

This video will show you how to work it into your daily routines!

Watch the full video on my YouTube channel (and don't forget to subscribe while you're there, instagram isn't forever apparently 😂)

Link in bio or search Lucy Bekker on YouTube

01/09/2021

We decided we didn't have time for this 👇

When we got together, Carl and I decided that we would never settle for mediocre love ❤

We would never passive aggressively wait for the other person to guess what we were thinking, we would keep putting in effort even after we knew we "had" each other, we would acknowledge the little things that the other one did,

And we would absolutely,

Under no circumstances,

Let life get in the way of loving each other ❤

We knew right from the start that life was way too short to come home to each other tired, to travel without each other, to work so hard we couldn't give our best to the other person.

And this has always been an easy choice because it is a non-negotiable value.

Non-negotiable, as in, no matter what people think, how much money we have, or how scary it can be to be so wildly open and vulnerable with someone else.

In this evenings Money Mastery Workshop, ill be sharing exactly how we organize our money every week, got our finances under control, and spend money without EVER feeling guilty and say no to work no matter what amount is coming in.

Because we KNOW that having energy for each other is more important than having a number in a bank account.

Want to learn how to define your own values AND have money to match? Grab your ticket through the link in my bio and I'll see you in a few hours! (Replay available if you can't make it live 🙏)

23/06/2021

I don't have ANY time for mediocre 🙅‍♀️

Mediocre relationships. Mediocre goals. Mediocre work. Mediocre energy.

Mediocre s*x, money, views, food, alcohol.

Life is unbearably short. And I don't intend to waste it working.

I'm going to spend as much time as possible with friends, my husband, drinking cocktails, walking in the sunshine, planning getaways, getting good at dancing and eating cake.

And your immediate response might be: well that's nice for you, but I have a job to go to, bills to pay.

🙊 I don't earn more than you.
🙊 I don't have it all figured out.
🙊 I don't have more resources than you.

I just prioritize myself and my happiness unapologetically. I know what I love and do it as much as possible ON PURPOSE.

And I want you to be as obsessed with life outside of 40 hours a week as me.

Tickets are OFFCIALLY open for Break Up With Busy Live!

What: workshop and networking event to learn how to put yourself first unapologetically and have FUN outside of work and meet other amazing women who want to do the same

When: July 14th, Ponsonby, Auckland

Early bird tickets are available until 30th June 😘 just $20 with a free drink on arrival because everything is better with bubbles 🥂

Are you with me? This is the year we break up with mediocrity ❤

22/06/2021

My guess? You don't actually hate you job.

You just need to set better boundaries.

Before you resign in a ball of flames, here are 3 boundaries you can set at your job to avoid burning out!

Workplace Boundary #1 Only Work At Work

If you are paid to work X number of hours per week, you are legally allowed to shut your brain off when you are not in the office.

Even if there is pressure to, You are not obligated to
❌Respond to your coworkers emails outside of work hours
❌Think about client work
❌Stress about Karen who needs things done 3 days before the due date

SET. THE. STANDARD. For how you want to be treated.

If someone is pushing and wanting an answer immediately (SOMETIMES it actually does need an answer), make sure they know that next time you need a full working day to respond to inquiries.

That way if/when they get annoyed, you can refer to a past email/conversation where you told them you need X amount of hours to respond with an actual answer.

Want to hear the other two boundaries? Click the video link in the comments to go check out the next two tips in this week's YouTube video!

14/06/2021

My secret weapon for work life balance...

When I was at university, I fell into the dance community (fell like I was falling in love with the ground kind of fall). I couldn't get enough! I went to every workshop, lesson and competition, no matter how busy I was with.

But the funny thing about uni is that you kind of have to do the work 😂

That's when I realized that productivity is one of the secrets to work life balance.

🌟The more productively I worked, the faster I got everything on my to do list done, and the more time I could spend dancing.🌟

In this week's YouTube video, I am sharing 5 EASY productivity hacks that I use every single week that let me spend LESS time working and MORE time doing what is important to me!

Productivity Hack 1) Never Miss Twice - This is a productivity habit I have recently picked up from James Clear's Atomic habits.

Basically, if you want productivity to become a habit (i.e. you want it to be part of you identity instead of referring to yourself as a "procrastinator"), it is important that if you fall off the horse you get back on AS SOON AS POSSIBLE.

Want to know the other productivity hacks that let me run my own schedule ? Check out the video below!