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Allens Ashburton

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Ashburton
Allens Ashburton

Locally owned and operated by Darryl and Kylie Burrowes since 2004. Ruralco Suppliers. Prompt, friendly service. Modern fleet of realiable vehicles.

Septic tanks, Effluent Disposal, Drain cleaning and CCTV. Liquid Waste Disposal Company, locally owned and operated by Darryl and Kylie Burrowes. Servicing septic tanks, dairy sumps/saucers/ponds, portaloos, grease traps, swimming pools, holding tanks. Also have drain cleaning machine and Jetting truck with powerful water blasting capabilities. ATS/Ruralco Supplier. Call 3085293 or Darryl on 0274333563

06/09/2026

Happy Farters Day! Pooman is a pretty big deal around our house. The Little Sh*ts seem to think that he's done an above average job being a Dad and I reluctantly have to agree. As much s**t as I give him, he's an outstanding farter. Loves unconditionally and is a fierce supporter and protector. Although in the same breath he will cheat his arse off to win a round of Wii golf. Winning is sometimes more important than feelings 🤣 I'm just stoked that I don't have to cook tonight and that the lolly jar has been replenished.

03/09/2026

Oh well, looks like if this poo thing doesn't work out for them, they can always fall back on their modelling careers! Bit cute really. And here I was thinking that they were out there, hard at work. Hard at work on a coffee and a slice by the looks of things!

25/08/2026

Poowife Diaries
Day 1,00238474 of doing office work.

Nothing exciting has happened. Pooman hasn't done anything stupid which is very disappointing and very unlike him. Maybe I should book him in for a brain scan as something isn't right.

Pooboy is also behaving and just working and getting everything right, damn it all to hell. Chris is always good but it would be nice if he fell in a huge puddle and someone was there to document it. Come on people, work with me here! How dare they all be good at their jobs and not provide me with any content. Pack of selfish bastards! Oh well, back to work for me then. Yawn. Might go to town and do some damage to the bank account. Spice things up a bit! Bahahahaha!

Toodaloooo!

PS: here is a photo of me squatting in a paddock. I'm not having a s**t, it's called yoga people! Namaste.

06/08/2026

Poowife Dairies
It's not very often but sometimes the stars align and I get to share food and time with Pooman AND Pooboy.

They were out on a job together holding hands and checking out some Pigeon poo whilst I was at Woolies getting enough cold and flu stuff to stuff into Pooman to help him s**u oh...I mean feel better. Man Flu...it's real (apparently)... I didn't know the human body could make that much snot 🤢

Anyway, I said let's meet at Taste Cafe. We had heard that they have the cleanest stormwater drains in town 🤣. Didn't check the drains but I had the feeling Pooman really wanted to. A hairy eyeball from me sat his arse down.

Food and drinks ordered from the fabulous selection we found a perch. Chatting amongst ourselves the lovely Ellie brought the coffees over. ☕️ I love people that are creative and like a laugh and she absolutely nailed it. Yes that's a Poo emoji in the coffee 💩, absolutely brilliant 🤣🤣🤣

10/10 for the company, food, s**ts and giggles!! Thanks Rebecca and team! Bloody brilliant 😂😍

05/08/2026

Woop woop! The girls played so well this season, so proud of them, especially our daughter in law Sarah! They weren't keen on being call the Pooball Girls for some reason....🤣

31/07/2026

A crime has been committed. A crime against my health and wellbeing. The smiling assassin sits beside me. After a night of frivolity, dancing to Jordan Luck at the Tav, and a couple of Shankys (that were forced down my throat....forced I say!) I was looking forward to a leisurely sleep in cradling my poor dehydrated brain.

And then the phone rings. Shhhhhhhhhut that thing up!!! "We've got a job"... ok Batman, can they wait till I'm human again please. "No, it's urgent". Ffs no rest for the wicked or the hungover apparently.

I line the supplements up on the bench. Nutrient Rescue, vitamin C, Liver Detox, anything and everything to help me. Big bowl of granola... Semi human. That will do. Maybe a pie on the way home will help. I'm never drinking again...till next time.

Poowife out.

23/07/2026

Poowife Diaries;
No doubt you have all been enjoying the fabulous light show Mother Nature graced us with this morning. Tumbled out of bed and stumbled to the curtains, ripped them open and was taken aback! I quickly located my phone to document this stupendous occasion and share it with my family. Yes we are that cheesy 🧀

Oooo ahhhhh the photos don't do it justice I say.. probably as I'm bumbling along with a 6 year old Samsung. 📱 Pooman is good at making money...and keeping it. Spending it is frowned upon. (I'm sure I can hear his ar****le squeaking when he walks) 🐁

Anyhoo back to the cinematic glory. We all sent our photos, heart emoji overload. Glorious photo after glorious photo! Oh the splendor!
Then Pooman sends his.🤨 Anti climatic, a word he is familiar with 🤣😉 Yes, his is the last photo.. maybe you will have to get up a bitty bit earlier Pooman 🤣🤣

15/07/2026

Sound on! Hope you aren't eating...

You may think that being a Poowife is a life of glitz and glamour, but no. I feel I have may deceived you with my galavanting around the countryside, dressed to the nines and flaunting my position in this company.

This video is to show you the bare, honest truth of my life. This is one of the many sounds that I awaken to on the daily. My precious beauty sleep is interrupted every morning by the sweet, sweet song of Poomans morning ablution. Lights glaring, doors banging, this sound sounding.

I know, you should feel sorry for me. My life is not glamour its real. Poo surrounds me at every turd, no..turn.

So next time you find yourself wishing you were me, remember this video and all the s**t that surrounds me.

Pray for me.
Poowife out.

14/07/2026

Winner winner!
One happy customer!! Thanks Jane for entering our competition and I hope you enjoy your treat!

Suppose I'll just have to go to the pub with Pooman instead. Hope I get a treat 🤣😉

11/07/2026

Poowife Diaries
What a day! Sunshine and s**t, what a combo. Bit nippy on the p**i though. Pooman said i looked like i was going skiing 🤣⛷️ Poo Bunny today. One must be stylish when sucking the s**t.

Rolled out to Rakaia to stir some s**t up. Literally. I was on gate duty and that sucked for a start. You try being 5 foot and climbing in and out of the giant truck. Workout done 💪

Pooman promised it wouldn't smell....well he was full of s**t too. Gagging is my new flex oh and saving lives. Spotted a wee buddy swimming for its life through the turds. I thought..."not on my watch" and got Pooman to scoop him out. Hurrah!

Life saved, drew the line at mouth to beak resuscitation though. Just blew on him. Was alive when we left. . I'm the Pamela Anderson of Poo. 🏊

Back on the tools, sq**rting the turds towards Pooman like my life depended on it. The skill it took not to sq**rt him squarely in the face....willpower was strong today.

What is it with those bloody white hoses..hard to hold on to, and turn off and on. The force nearly sent me over the pond, gloves wet, nearly threw me on my arse...stupid fecking hose.

Home and fed now. Might just lie in the sun like a cat.
Go the ABs. Poowife out.

Address

P O Box 59
Ashburton
7700

Telephone

+6433085293

Website

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