22/07/2021
She told me she was borderline burn-out, desperately looking for some relaxation. She asked if I had any tips, and if Icould ‘read’ her.
I looked at her face and my first glace showed me her hard shell of contempt, my second glance an enormous sadness and my third glance a very deep tiredness.
She looked desperately at me and I said: “I’m not sure, but I think someone did something nasty to you and you now think very very low of them. This feeling is covering up the sadness and grief you feel about the whole thing. Keeping this up makes you very tired.”
Her eyes went big and she nodded. “What can I do about this?”, she asked.
I answered: “Find a way to respond from power (not force!) to what this person did, express your disagreement with what happened in some way. This can be in a letter or a yelling session in the woods, don’t confront them personally, that will tear open old wounds that need to heal. Give them back what belongs to them, not you, in intention, in energy.
Then grieve over what happened. Feel the sadness, grief, maybe fear? And get yourself some support in this process: comfort, time, loving people who hold you.
And then, last but definitely not least: rest! Allow yourself to rest. And give that as much time as you need.”
She nodded and asked: “How will I know when I rested enough?”
I answered: “You know you’re well rested if your mind, as well as your entire body, feel like getting up, if you have new sprouting plans, baby sparks of a thing you might want to do and you still feel your physical needs…. If you don’t feel as a complete new beginning, you’re not rested jet.”
She smiled widely for a moment. Then her face went dark again. I asked her what she felt. “Irritation,” she replied.
I smiled at her and shruged: “If you feel to irritated to rest, think again: who did something nasty to you? And repeat the process of giving back to them what doesn’t belong to you -or vice versa, demand back what they got from you-, in intention and energy. Then give yourself the comfort to grieve and the time to rest… that’s all.”
“It sounds so simple…” she said hesitantly.
“It’s simple to understand,” I replied, “but very hard to do. Especially in a society that doesn’t allow you to feel anger or hurt, nor to take the rest you truly need. A society that’s based on who’s wrong and who’s right, instead of learning us to focus on our inner compass. A society of individuals who’ve unlearned how to take care of each other because society teaches us to see each other as competition.”
“What can I do about all that?!,” she asked she almost jelled.
“Rest,” I replied. “Just allow yourself to rest. And give yourself space to do so. Set the example to rest. And own what’s yours nothing more nothing less.”
“But all the others…,” she muttered.
“They need to rest as well, just set the example,” I said.
She jawned. “And you?,” she asked.
“What about me?”
“You seem well rested…,” she jawned again.
“I’ll start with a social media post about our conversation,” I grinned, “I have a sprouting plan, it sparks! But baby steps…”
She huged me and wished me luck. I told her she helped me, and that we’re all on the same planet. Being who we are, just as we are right now. So we can do the thing we need to do right now.
And maybe… that’s just rest.
For me it was this post today.
What’s yours? Let me know!
Have a beautiful day!
- Karin Helmers
