The Counselors view

28/09/2022

10/03/2021

I came across and engaged a Truck or Chart Pusher Popularly known as Omolanke in Lagos Nigeria,
deligently pushing a fully loaded chart /truck bare foots to its destination.
What he shared with me sent cold to my spine. He has 6 Children, he has been a chart pusher for almost 25 years and he is 45years old, as hard-working as he is he doesn't Own his own Property yet. Can't afford 3 square meals and he said I don't want my Children to go through life with Uncertainty.
What's your take? What's your Counsel? Obviously he is hardworking!

13/01/2021

There'd always be periods of misunderstanding in marriage. Don't jump to ask your spouse out of the house, seek a separation or pronounce a divorce. It is not very mature and it doesn't help the situation.

You can only come back with an apology for so long, someday, it will no longer be accepted.

Marriage is not easy and should not be a place to condone abuse or mistreatment but we should also be careful in how quickly we seek an exit based on unprocessed emotions, rushed reactions, nuptial immaturity and rage.

Dear Mr "Get out of my house",

I divorce you, I divorce you, I divorce you.

Slow down and think so that your decisions can be better.

08/01/2021

You know he earns N70,000 monthly.
You know he is responsible for his parents.
You know you don't have a job.
You know he is running another degree to help upgrade his profile.
You know how much it costs to feed just you.
You know he doesn't own a personal building.
You decide you'll marry him anyway, you are happy with him.

You complain about neighborhood.
You complain about face me I face you.
You complain about feeding allowance.
You complain about general welfare.
You complain he's always working and has no time for you.
You complain he's always tired.
You complain about him complaining.
You complain he's sending money home.
You complain he's not taking care of you.

Why exactly do you complain?
What exactly should he do?
What exactly are you doing?

Now, go back to the top of the post.

Do you know he earns N70,000 monthly?
Do you know how much he earns?
Do you know how he spends it?
Do you know what's left when he's done doing the needful?
Do you know he is responsible for his parents?
Do you know he is running another degree to help upgrade his profile?
Do you know he doesn't own a personal building?
Do you still want to marry him now?
Are you sure?

Stop nagging him already.

23/12/2020

Don't be a tyrant whose wife cannot speak, express or contribute ideas. The position of 'wife' goes way beyond child birthing and servicing the home....but then, this definition will vary from place to place.

A wife, your wife, is your soulmate, a companion there to support your growth. It is a position of intellect too reflecting your choice.

Allow her be all she can in the home, as an individual and as a wife; a member of the home with rights and authority too.

You'd go into many homes and you can tell that the wives are terrified even when they try to hide it.

Unfortunately, a lot of husbands don't even realise they could be a lot better than they are if they empowered their wives. Her gender and position do not define her resourcefulness, intelligence, enlightenment, dedication, loyalty...all of which you are throwing away.

Don't shout or shut her down, don't dismiss her like she means nothing because brother, she means everything.....she's your wife!

But then again, I guess the meaning of that varies from place to place.

21/12/2020

Discuss and verify what marriage and a spouse means to a person before committing yourself. Be sure what they want in marriage and a spouse aligns with what you desire or offer.

Many people want for a wife, a person to cook, clean, have s*x with and bear children. Nothing more.

Many want for a husband, a person to pay their bills, nothing more.

Don't get in before you verify this as this is the mistake many made. It's better prevented than leaving the marriage.

14/12/2020

Social media today forms a huge part of what people see and decide about you. With increasing number of people finding their spouses online, it has become even more important to pay attention to your profile.

You say you are single and seeking a spouse but when they come to your profile, what does it say? Some many, in the name of "being myself" tell the world the wrong thing about themselves (or maybe not). You dress can be all it takes to create an initial impression of seeking s*x as against a suitor.

Then there are comments all over. It would not tally if you are fighting people on every post and you turn around to a potential suitor claiming to be calm and gentle. It won't matter as you would have sold yourself wrong.

Then please don't be needy. Yes, take on opportunities but if you are always "needing 2k fast", you are going to chase suitors away or attract the wrong type.

These are a few things that can help. What other things have you seen people do online that can discourage suitors?

11/12/2020

So, I remember the look on his face from that day (you know how you can just tell when a man is not being straight) but since he said he bought it cheap...no wahala. This was our first year back in the country as a couple and he just seemed to believe he was 'street'. He never confessed this part o.

Why do men do this anyway? If only you all knew! We add ours to support, massive support. Hehehe giant prawns abi, N2500 for soup and you still dey price, oya go and buy it now.

God bless all the supportive wives out there whose efforts are not seen as much. You rock.

Dear husbands, please be calming down small small, we know it's not easy but recognise us too, you will not faint.

10/12/2020

Never ever forget three types of people in your life: because 👇

●. The People Who Helped You In Difficult Times.

●Always remember the people who were there to help you when no one else was. These are the people willing to go the extra mile for your wellbeing.

●Make sure to remind them on a regular basis how much you care about them and how much you appreciate their help through the challenging points in life.

●The People Who Left You In Difficult Times

●Some people will immediately abandon you the moment you have nothing to offer them in return. Once you need a little bit of help, they're no where to be found.

●Always remember these people. Don't rely on them in the future. If someone isn't willing to help you during difficult times, they should be around to enjoy the good times either.

● The People Who Put You In Difficult Times

●These are the people you especially want to take note of. If someone is continually making your life more difficult, there is no reason you should continue to reward them with your presence.

●Don't be afraid to cut ties with any of the toxic relationships you are still carrying around. Sometimes letting go is the best thing you can do.