02/08/2025
I turn 47 today. And no, I don’t have 47 lessons to share. Just one. But it’s a big one.
𝐒𝐭𝐨𝐩 𝐥𝐢𝐯𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐬𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐞𝐥𝐬𝐞’𝐬 𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐨𝐟 𝐲𝐨𝐮.
For a long time, I didn’t even realize I was doing it.
I was just… adjusting.
To what my parents expected.
To what my partner needed.
To what friends found acceptable.
To what society claps for.
And somewhere in all of that, I stopped asking:
What feels like me?
Lately, that question has become louder.
Not just, “What do I want to achieve?”
But… “Who am I becoming while I achieve it?”
I’ve come to believe that God doesn’t care much about what I’ve collected on the outside.
He’s more interested in whether my soul is evolving.
Am I less reactive than I used to be?
Am I holding on to less guilt, comparison, and fear?
Am I learning to return to myself with softness?
𝐓𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐟𝐭—𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐲, 𝐪𝐮𝐢𝐞𝐭, 𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐧𝐚𝐥—𝐡𝐚𝐬 𝐛𝐞𝐞𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐦𝐨𝐬𝐭 𝐩𝐨𝐰𝐞𝐫𝐟𝐮𝐥 𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐬𝐨 𝐟𝐚𝐫.
And maybe that’s why this birthday feels different.
No pressure to get dressed up or prove anything.
No fixed plans.
Just moving slowly.
Maybe I’ll watch a movie later, or play cards with family.
Eat my mom’s dal dhokli (one of my favorites).
Or maybe I’ll do none of that and just sit with myself.
Either way, it’s not for the camera.
It’s for me.
And that, I think, is the real gift:
𝐒𝐞𝐥𝐟-𝐚𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐞𝐧𝐞𝐬𝐬.
𝐈𝐭’𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐬𝐤𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭’𝐬 𝐪𝐮𝐢𝐞𝐭𝐥𝐲 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐝 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐲𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠—
how I stop overthinking, how I say no, how I hold space for myself.
So if you’ve been shape-shifting too—
just to be accepted, liked, or praised…
Maybe today’s a good day to come back home.
To you.
Took me 47 years.
Hope it takes you less. 🙂
