02/06/2026
Let me confess this
For years, I was the most patient person. Kind & generous.
To everyone except the people I loved most.
At work I would smile through the conversations, giving people my full attention, my softest voice, my best self.
All day I poured it out to clients, peers, bosses.
And then I would come home empty.
Walking in through the door, the first thing I noticed would be the shoe lying in the middle of the floor, the half-finished food in the lunch boxes, the utensils piled in the sink, the never-ending laundry.
And I would give myself a free pass to get angry.
For the mess that any living home would have.
My girls got the leftovers of me. The scraps. The version of me with nothing kind left in the tank.
If you are a woman reading this, you know what I am talking about. The silent frustration of “handling it all alone” that translates into anger over the years.
We save patience for people who matter least and we hand our family the worst of us, and then we lie awake at nights beating ourselves for it.
I would tell myself that this is the cost of having access to better infrastructure and clean roads in a western country. The stress of not having anyone to manage it for me.
It was not.
Here is what I finally understood.
Whatever you focus on becomes your reality.
All day I focused on performing perfect for strangers.
It was at home only, that I breathed. And that breath was heavy, because all I focused on was the shoe, the plate, the mess, the undone things, my reality became everything that was wrong.
I was not seeing my daughters. I was seeing a to-do list with their faces on it.
The day I realised this, my peace began.
Not that life got easier. But because I stopped walking in to scan the room for what was unfinished.
I started looking for them, the excitement on their faces, the innocence in their eyes, the miracle that they were mine.
The shoe was still on the floor. I just stopped seeing it.
So if you are the woman who is gentle with the whole world and hard with your own children, I have been you.
And I am here to tell you that there is an open door. For the anger to go out…
Anger is not who you are. It is only what you are focused on.
Change what you look at, and change what you bring home.
You want your children to remember the mum who saved her best for those who deserved it the most.
And they will glow up brighter 💫
