Leigh Wrafter - The 6 Week Shape Up

25/07/2022

Monday Ramble

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The best moment in my week last week was Tuesday as that’s the day Ryleigh really got back to being herself after being sick

When I got home from work and she was flying around the place with a big smile on her face I felt so bloody happy.

It’s mad how much it affects you as a parent.

Another busy busy week last week.

Have some new systems I’m trying to implement which meant I did a lot of extra work last week and was working extra on Saturday during her naps to try get it finished.

I was wrecked, especially after bringing her parents to the airport at 3.30 am 😴

And there’s some really important lessons from last week.

> When you’re trying to reach your goals, sometimes you have to work harder than others, there’s no avoiding it!

The worst thing you can do is argue with it or get annoyed about it, it just makes doing it harder.

Or avoid doing the work.

It would be nice if it was always just the same, but, that’s hoping for the impossible.

There will be times where you have to dig in, work harder, push yourself, get more uncomfortable etc.

>>Accept it, Show Up, Get On With It Sometimes you have to make one thing a priority and let other things slide a little. There’s a great book called ‘the one thing’ where this idea really hit home for me.

Everything is important but not everything is equally important, there can only be one thing.

There’s going to be times where doing it ALL is virtually impossible as you have extra on.

In those moments you have to prioritize, get clear on that one thing that is the priority and make that your focus until it’s done, and turn down the dial on other things a bit.

This can be hard to do, as mentally we think we need to get it all done, but some things are always more important, make sure they get done.

When you can prioritize it takes the pressure off, it stops that internal overwhelm.

It lets you be okay with the CHAOS!

> There’s always CHAOS, you’re always in the s**t, rarely does it all get done, nothing is ever perfect.

And that is okay!

You survive, the whole world doesn’t fall apart!

The biggest problem we have is thinking there shouldn’t be chaos, it should be smooth sailing, it should be perfect and we should be on top of it all.

But that’s impossible because there’ll always be something!

Even when one thing gets done, another thing takes it place!

Being okay with that means you have more mental energy for it all and handle everything better, you’re not stressing yourself out or pulling your hair out the whole time.

You’re always on a hamster wheel, life’s always chaotic, nothing is ever totally done, and that’s the way it’s supposed to be.

Right, that’s me for today.

Do me a favour, hit like if you got value from this and let me know in the comments what your biggest takeaway was.

Leigh

18/07/2022

Monday ramble

We held the first ever shape up games on Saturday and it was an incredible day, it was so humbling to see so many of our members come out and take part ❤️

Especially considering we had loads of our online members there from all over the country 😊

Saturday was a very humbling and proud day💪

But my god last week was a challenging week, if it could go wrong it did go wrong, and at the worst possible time as it was a big week getting prepped for the games.

I almost found myself getting stuck in my own head about it all 😫

It was almost comical how many things went wrong, but some of them were extremely serious and could of had a real negative impact on my business.

Ryleigh was sick too and got progressively worse as the week went on, we were actually in temple street children’s hospital with her for 4 hours yesterday morning.

So dealing with all the things that were going wrong with a sick child and not getting proper sleep has been a challenge 😫

And here’s the thing, when you’re on your fitness journey there’s going to be weeks like this…

… where it can feel like everything that could go wrong, is going wrong.

It’s so easy for it to get into your head, the negative self talk starts to kick in, the self doubt.

You know what I mean right?

But here’s what I’ve learned and what got me through last week…

If you change how you talk to yourself about the problem, you change how you feel about it, you change how it affects you, you change what it means, you change how you respond 💪

That thing you think is a disaster and means everything is ruined?

Well, that could be a good thing because it could be the challenge where you prove to yourself that you’re capable of handling and overcoming it, which makes you stronger 💪

^^ that’s actually what I was saying to myself last week dealing with some of the problems.

When these BIG challenges come up.

There’s usually two ways it goes:

The negative self talk kicks in, the worry, doubt, fear, anxiety, the mind starts predicting doomsday, it spirals, and our actions tend to follow suit.

‘Sure if it’s ruined, I’m never gonna get there, what’s the point in trying’

OR

We catch ourselves and start to change the script, we talk ourself through it, we look for ways to win, we reframe it, we reduce its significance, it can even bring out the best in you as you rise up to it, it can increase your confidence as you respond well to it, we become like our own coach getting us through it.

Which is mad.

The problems haven’t changed, only how we have talked to ourselves about it.

But you’ll produce completely different outcomes in the two scenarios.

Simply by changing what you tell yourself it means.

As the saying goes…

‘A problem is only as big as you make it out to be’

And I’ll let you in on a little secret…

I feel GREAT after last week!

Because I managed my self talk and handled everything so well.

I just took it in my stride.

I feel like I’ve grown, I feel confident, and optimistic!

But the funny thing is, I could just as easily be sitting here depressed after a disaster of a week if I’d let the negative self talk run away with itself

Because then I would of responded differently and it would of been an entirely different outcome last week.

I hope you got some value from this today, please like if you did.

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11/07/2022

Monday Ramble

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We took a trip to Herbert park food market yesterday.

What a day it was 😎, I hope you got out in it.

It was so much fun running around and playing with Ryleigh.

Sadly, today we’ve just got the heat without the sun 😂

There was one scary moment yesterday as a little girl went missing and the parents and friends and a few others were frantically running around after her.

Fortunately, she was found safe and well shortly after!

I can only imagine how worried those parents were in those moments, especially as we were there with little Ryleigh bear 🐻

It’s amazing how easily that can happen though isn’t it? like even without the parents doing anything ‘wrong’

It’s so easy to happen..

You’re in a conversation, you get a little distracted by something, or they’re their playing one minute with some kids, you turn your back for a second, turn back around and a moment of terror

Just like that…

Now, thank god that girl was found otherwise I wouldn’t be using this as a comparison.

But it’s crazy how easy it is for us to go completely off track with our health and fitness too.

Especially when you’re trying to do it alone or without support.

It’s so easy for life to take over and distract us, lose focus, lose momentum, and before you know it you’re completely lost with it.

Days, weeks, months, years even, can just go by before you even realize how far off track you’ve gone…

… and when you do? It can be a lonely place, and confusing as hell to know where to even start to try and get things back on track 😫

Then, it can feel like this HUGE mission, which makes it tough to get motivated to start!

But here’s the thing that can be learned from yesterday about the POWER of SUPPORT.

They were in a park filled with other people and parents, and first thing the parents did was start asking people, then those people started helping, then more people helped, and before you know it they’d found their daughter.

And maybe REAL support is something you’ve been missing on your previous fitness journeys.

You see, when you’ve got a team of coaches who truly CARE and a COMMUNITY of other people just like you, who have your back and are in the trenches with you, going through the same struggles and and challenges…

Well?

That can be the difference between having a little blip and being given the support, help, and encouragement to getting back on track right away.

Or…

Getting completely lost and the whole thing falling apart because you don’t have it.

So here’s my question…

Do you need to get some real support with your fitness journey? And what are you going to do about it?

Leigh

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06/07/2022

She wasn’t a gym person either…

05/07/2022

Monday Ramble

Im doing this today as yesterday was Ryleigh’s 1st birthday.

So, we spent the day together as a family.

I actually can’t believe she’s one already.

Yesterday evening at about 7.20pm after I’d put Ryleigh down to bed, Andie and I were saying it’s crazy that she still wasn’t even born this time a year ago 🤯🤯

We had planned to go to the zoo yesterday as she’s loves animals but the weather wasn’t great so we went to funky monkey in dundrum.

I must say, I’m so glad we did.

She had the time of her life, it was so funny, at one point, she just kept running in one direction, then the other, like she didn’t know what to do with herself she was so excited. It was the cutest thing ever.

Seeing her run around in there having the time of her life was one of the best feelings ever.

And yesterday acted as a really important reminder of why it’s so important to be clear on the deeper reasons why things are important to you.

I run my own business, and I want that business to be successful, provide a great service, and help as many people as possible.

But there’s also deeper reasons…

I want a business that I love but I’m not always consumed by it, I want to be fully in control of my time, I want to be able to spend time with my children everyday, pick them up from school, and do things with them.

(There’s many more but I’m just using ones that are relative to this post)

And this is why being clear on deeper reasons is so so important!!

1. It’s the Ultimate form of motivation or only true motivation really to be honest. Superficial and surface level reasons won’t drive you like deeper reasons and deeper reasons keep you committed when it’s hard.

2. Guides decisions

29/06/2022

Check out what else she had to say ➡️…

27/06/2022

Monday Ramble

We went shopping on Saturday for Ryleigh’s birthday 🎂 presents 🎁

I cannot believe she’s one this day next week 😍😍

We were supposed to be going to Kildare village yesterday.

But we got in the car and two warning lights came on, so Andie checked the manual as I was driving.

One was for low tyre pressure, the other was for a serious warning to stop the car as soon as it is safe to do so and turn the engine off.

I presumed the 2nd one was linked to the tyre pressure one, fortunately there’s a garage on Mespil road beside us, so I pulled in there and the rear drivers side was really flat.

Pumped it up and I thought that would do the job, but both lights stayed on.

Anyway, I decided to just head back home and not chance it.

Which is funny, as in the past, before Ryleigh, I would of probably chanced it on my own.

Okay, I’d definitely of chanced it 🙈

Even now, if Ryleigh and Andie weren’t in the car, I wouldn’t chance something like that.

I notice that more and more with my decisions across the board these days.

My values and priorities are different.

I always think of my family first.

How will this affect them, is this the example I want to set, Is this what’s best for them, is this the type of dad I want to be…

… that type of thing goes through my mind.

Which is actually lucky in this instance.

Because as it turned out, there’s a nail in the tyre!!

But here’s the thing about values and priorities.

Not being clear on these is what causes so much frustration for so many people with the health, fitness, and weight loss goals.

Because they’ll have these goals but then go about trying to reach them by doing things that conflict with their values and priorities.

For example, right now, I’m trying to drop body fat, but I’m taking longer to do it than ever before and this is because my values and priorities are different.

In the past I might do a fat loss phase for 8–12 weeks.

Id add extra training days, increase steps a lot , I wouldn’t eat out, I’d be very rigid on my calories, it would be my soul focus.

But now…

… I’ve been doing it slowly since the start of the year, that extra training day is time spent with Ryleigh or as a family, I still want to be able to do things like we did yesterday and go to Herbert park market and got cookies, I don’t even want to be as lean as I was previously.

So my expectations, approach, and timeline need to be different to match my new values and priorities.

Which is why it’s ESSENTIAL to be clear on them!

Otherwise I’d be getting frustrated spinning my wheels trying to do it in a way that I’m not really willing to do anymore.

Whereas because I’m clear on this, I’m happy taking longer, I’m enjoying the process more because I’m still doing things that see higher on my values list, and I’m not trying to do things that conflict with this.

Does that make sense?

Maybe you can see how that’s played out in your own attempts.

When we try and reach and set goals without being clear on our values snd priorities we end up.

👉trying not to do things we don’t really want to
👉Trying to remove things we don’t want to
👉Trying to reach goals were not committed to
👉Not enjoying the process
👉Really frustrated
👉With unrealistic and unattainable expectations, timelines, and plans
👉 It feels impossible because you’re constantly trying to reach the goal in a way that conflict with what matters to you

But the biggest one..

You CANNOT achieve the most important thing which is feeling better, being happier, and enjoying it because it’s not being done in a way that’s in alignment with what’s truly important to you.

Anyway, I’m going to leave it there for today, there’s definitely some food for thought today.

But can you do me a favour?

Give this a like or leave a comment if you found it interesting or useful.

I might follow up with some more stuff on how to get clear on your values and priorities.

Leigh

22/06/2022

❤️

20/06/2022

Monday Ramble

Yesterday was my first ever Father’s Day 😍

Ryleigh woke up at 5am 😂

I think she was just dying to give me my card 😉

And Andie didn’t feel well 😂

We’d planned to go swimming in the morning in the swan centre and had a late lunch booked in the old spot.

We still went swimming but Andie still wasn’t better in the afternoon, and tbh I’d a banging headache from my sinuses (still do now 😫) so we cancelled the lunch and just went out for a walk over to Herbert park market, went home and played with Ryleigh, then got a takeaway and watched the Grand Prix when she went to bed.

It wasn’t the day we had planned but it was a lovely day.

Tbh probably better!!

Which is funny actually because a lesson is written down for myself earlier in the week was…

“ it’s never going to be exactly how you planned, there’s always going to be chaos and challenge. The key thing is how you handle it and that you’re moving in the right direction”

I’d written it down in relation to business goals.

But it’s so relative to personal life and health goals too.

Just because things aren’t how you ‘planned’

Doesn’t mean you still can’t make most of it,

And it doesn’t mean things aren’t working or going the right way.

Too often we get too caught up in the fact that things aren’t exactly how we planned or thought they would be and react too emotionally.

‘The whole day is ruined’

‘It’s not working’

Etc etc

Too often we get stuck in our head and become our own worst enemy because we think the craziness and things not being exactly how we planned is a bad thing and respond like it’s bad.

We lose sight of the fact that things could actually be going great despite it not being how we planned, that there’s an opportunity to learn and grow or do something better.

… it’s actually very rare that things turn out exactly how we planned, and that’s ok!

and if we can teach ourselves to see that…

We respond better, we go with it rather than fight against it, we become better and just getting on with things despite the chaos.

I want you to think now… how often are you letting this happen? And what would change if you changed how you responded?

Leigh

Ps - the photo frame 🖼 is my Father’s Day gift from Ryleigh 😍

15/06/2022