12/06/2026
I wasn't sure whether to talk about this publicly or not.
Part of me wanted to just move on, stay quiet and get on with things. But the more I thought about it, the more I realised that too many women stay quiet about experiences like this. And too many men allow it, dismiss it, or fail to understand just how frightening it can be.
A man approached me a few days ago.
I don't know him.
He knew me.
He blocked my path and told me he had been looking for me for years. I quickly realised we'd had a couple of brief, polite conversations on the beach while I was walking my dog almost six years ago.
He then proceeded to tell me that he believes we're meant to be together. That I'm his soulmate. That he knows I'm married, but doesn't think that matters.
He told me he has been driving to my studio and walking the beach regularly in the hope of finding me. Watching for me. Waiting until he got the chance to speak to me.
Let me be very clear.
This was not romantic.
It was not flattering.
It was not a compliment.
It was terrifying.
While I was not physically harmed, I was deeply uncomfortable, shaken and genuinely scared.
Because what I was hearing was that someone I do not know had created an entire story in their head about a connection that doesn't exist. A story so real to them that they felt it was perfectly reasonable to spend years looking for me, following places they knew I might be, and eventually approaching me when I was alone.
That is not okay.
That is not acceptable.
And frankly, it's fu***ng scary.
The thing is, many men will never fully understand this fear.
The fear of suddenly becoming aware that you're alone.
The fear of checking over your shoulder to see if someone is following you.
The fear of mentally mapping exits and escape routes.
The fear of wondering if someone knows where you work.
Or if they know where you live.
Or if you'll see them again tomorrow.
Most women know that feeling.
Most women have felt that knot in their stomach at some point.
And we shouldn't have to.
I also want to say that the Gardaí were incredibly helpful, understanding and supportive when I spoke to them, and I am very grateful for how seriously they took my concerns.
And before anyone jumps to conclusions, I know some incredible men.
I am married to one.
I have wonderful male family members, friends and clients.
Many men have brought kindness, support and goodness into my life, and I have never once felt threatened by them.
So no, it's not all men.
But it is always a fu***ng man.
And until more men start calling this behaviour out, challenging it and refusing to excuse it, women will continue carrying fears they should never have to carry in the first place.
This has to stop.
