11/05/2023
Far too often, I find myself living in a trance of 'trying to maintain' other people's feelings and needs. I become someone who constantly seeks to please others, saying yes to every request and neglecting my own needs.
It happens in almost every area of my life, including any project that I touch, the community, organizations, friendships, and even my personal relationships.
My daily routine usually unfolds as follows: I wake up in the morning, respond to all the messages coming from WhatsApp, Telegram, and IG DMs from my tribes, as well as from my previous mentees and clients. I take care of urgent bills, attend online and offline meetings, create social media content (sometimes handled by my team, but I often need to be involved). And the rest of the days, I still need to finish writing my future books, plan future events, create marketing campaigns, and shoot tonnes of videos for my courses.
And yes, you will be crazy when you read my daily schedule above. As a manifesting generator, I have a huge amount of energy in my sacral according to my human design chart.
But sometimes in my busyness, I realize, "Damn it! I haven't even made any time to take care of myself. How can I manage better? How can I help my clients improve their lives? How can I fit in more if I can't manage myself?"
While writing this, I'm crying at my own reflection. I have been blessed with great creative power in my sacral, the ability to multitask and a talent to create fabulous works that can inspire others. But it will be useless if I can't manage it.
So many people have already come to exploit me for their own advantage, and they don't even care that I have needs as well. When I feel drained and tired, they leave me in deep pain while playing the victim and gaslighting by spreading the news that I'm not a person of honor, that my words can't be trusted, that I have no focus, and that I have bad vibrations. They don't even understand that I feel drained after giving all my energy to serve them; I need to rest and recharge myself.
So, here I am now... decluttering many unproductive schedules in my life and focusing more on taking care of myself.
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