17/10/2023
I've recently been fiddling with the notion of radical acceptance.
People's projections, society's expectations, everybody's good intentions, and all the should-haves, the must-haves, are interfering with our lives. We're suffering, struggling with dilemmas, with pros and cons, with wanting to leave but also stay, with nihilism and... its opposite (infinitism?).
The way I view is consciously making an effort to acknowledge and honor challenging situations and emotions. It's a shift within the self.
So often I see people -myself included- giving ourselves a hard time for feeling sad or fed up or anything...
Why the additional struggle?
Why the judgment, on top of it all?
How about fully accepting things as they are instead of judging them, ignoring them, avoiding them, or wishing they were different?
Try it and see how liberating it is. How it allows for genuine rest and sweet clarity. How it brings us to the here and now. How it helps us navigate tough situations with grace and healing self-love.
Here's how to practice Radical Acceptance [from betterfamilytherapy.com]
1. Observe that you are fighting against reality. (Ex: “It shouldn’t be like this.”)
2. Remind yourself that the unpleasant reality cannot be changed. (Ex: “It happened.”)
3. Acknowledge that something led to this moment. (Ex: “This is how it happened.”)
4. Practice acceptance with not only your mind, but your body and spirit. Be mindful of your breath, and posture.
5. List what your behavior would look like if you did accept the facts then act accordingly.
6. Plan ahead with events that seem unacceptable and think about how you should appropriately cope.
7. Remain mindful of physical sensations throughout your body such as tension or stress.
8. Embrace feelings such as disappointment, sadness, or grief.
9. Acknowledge that life is worth living even when there might be temporary pain.
10. If you find yourself resisting, complete a pros and cons exercise to understand the full impact of your choice better.
