13/02/2024
Today is my mother's 73rd Birthday. I haven't posted anything about her since she passed two years ago, some emotions are just hard to put into words - love, joy, thankfulness, amazing memories with a healthy dose of sorrow, longing. So I thought I would post two tributes from two years ago to remember.
Our mother was the best. We know that, you know that; end of story!
She was so much the best that even as children we understood we shared her with a larger family of confidantes, friends and patients. Not that we’re bitter about that or anything; as much of her as we got was more than sufficient. It also was very comforting to know that if we had any friends who were having challenges she would
always be willing to help them.
At an age when most other kids were busy being seen and not heard, she was genuinely interested in our thoughts and opinions and very transparent in sharing hers. Folks would say “She talks to her kids like they’re her friends!” She didn’t yell or scold
but would get us to figure out our own problems with a gentle question or two. She led by example, modelling her values and faith in her own life, and giving us the freedom to choose to follow or not.
Those values are best captured in Micah 6:8 “To act justly and to love mercy, and to walk humbly with your God.” It showed up in her love for simplicity over pageantry, her constant prayers and her willingness to set aside her own ego to empathize and lift up others.
As you can imagine we didn’t always follow that very righteous path. Sometimes that meant suffering completely avoidable setbacks and bruises, but we could always count on her comforting arm and unwavering love.
She had an infamously casual relationship with punctuality, but that was at least in part because she was so present with whomever she happened to be with. Unless of course, she was reading a novel in which case she was definitely not present and would absentmindedly say yes to just about anything, something we capitalised on greatly as little children.
She was proof that you can be friends with your children. You just have to be a very cool friend who is also a peer pressure master.
Well, this past year our cool friend fell on some hard times. And much as it was heart-wrenching to see her hurting, it was also an opportunity to give back the same love and care we’d received from her our whole lives. This time folks were saying “They
talk to their mother like she’s their friend.” That’s because she was.
She was fun to be around, easy to love and even easier
to please. A well-worn children’s book, a pile of cashews, a bowl of fruit, a little bit of chocolate and she was in heaven.
We loved our mother more than is possible to express in these inadequate words and ideas. We take comfort in that she understood that deeply in life, in health, in sickness and even in death. We cherish all the memories of the good times, the challenging times and even the end times.
Farewell Mama, we miss you sorely and can’t wait to see you again.
