02/10/2021
🦋 (Trigger content warning relating to Baby loss). 🦋
Today is (always) a strange, but very special day for our family.
Today, twenty years ago, Rob and I went on our very first date in bonny Glasgow. We’ve never looked back since. 🏴 🥂
Today, ten years ago, our first little baby boy Beau was born, just shy of six months gestation. Our plan to celebrate with our bump in London was swapped for a surprisingly lengthy labour I can only describe as an intense challenge for our minds, bodies and souls. The screams of the other Mums and cries of newborn babies made our silence and emptiness all the more pronounced, especially whilst we shared precious time together before saying our very final goodbye to him.
The days and weeks that followed were just about survivable, but if I’m honest, even with so much love and support, it was the months that followed that often felt so very dark and lonely. It was the little things that kept us going – unexpected acts of kindness, butterflies fluttering seemingly everywhere and Ben Howards Head Up, Heart Strong song. I found bumps very difficult for a long time, even when Rorys beautiful bump started growing. And what do you say when someone asks “is this your first?” Gulps.
🌈
I decided to brave going to Gemma Nash’s Pregnancy Yoga class when pregnant with Rory. That class literally changed my life. opened my eyes to the mind-body connection, to the importance of breathwork and the nourishment movement provides. By the time I approached labour again, I was so physically and mentally prepared - calm, empowered and felt incredibly positive throughout. I was induced at 42 weeks, laboured for 30 hours on gas and air alone, got to 10cm and when it became critical, I had an Emergency Section. My body felt a little broken, but my eyes had opened and my heart was healing. Gemma’s postnatal classes further encouraged my postnatal recoveries (by the time Sofia was born I had had three babies in 30 months 🙃) and inspired my curiosity for both Pilates and making a difference to others…
🦋
As for the picture outside the butterfly suite – this was taken two days after our third, or should I say fourth baby was born. We’ve taken all three babies to see this special room where Beau was born and it felt like an important family picture to remind us how far we’ve come. Formerly Hill View, (Hell View as I called it), I was thrilled to see it had been renamed to the Butterfly Suite. The little knitted hat and blanket he wore will remain our most treasured possession.I’d be lying if I’d say it’s been plain sailing ever since, but we’re so incredibly blessed and proud of our three children who keep us on our toes.
People come to the mat for many different reasons – I guess this was a huge part of mine. Whatever is moving you, whatever your backstory, your goals or motivation, you are welcome and I hope you will always feel supported. My personal goal as a teacher is to simply be there for you if and when you need me to be, to support and encourage you and do my very best to help you grow forwards. I want to provide a class you enjoy, look forward to and that holds a (special) space in your busy week. Most importantly, I want to give you the tools, knowledge and awareness to help YOU look after YOU, knowing I’ll always have your back if you need me.
😘😘