PatientMind

26/10/2024

This was my first event to support micro and small enterprise founders the kind of support they deserve. I have found it a lonely journey at times, with plenty of highs and lows, and believe local peer support is important to help us thrive.

Today I attended an event hosted by Thrive Hive, and I am truly overwhelmed by how impactful it was. The atmosphere was welcoming as soon as I walked through the door! I was immediately filled with a sence of belonging, and a deep sense of community. Alex and Lynda were absolutely phenomenal speakers – their warmth and passion were undeniable. They spoke from the heart, sharing personal stories and insights that left a lasting impression on everyone in the room. Their authenticity made you feel seen and supported, which is very rare. Thrive Hive is a space where you can grow, both as a person and as a business owner. Highly recommend!

31/10/2023

Emotionally intelligent leaders have the ability to understand and manage their own emotions, as well as those of their team members. This skill set not only leads to a more positive work environment, but it also has a significant impact on the bottom line. 😊 📈

Listen up for three key statistics that demonstrate that developing EQ is not just good for people; it's great for your business. 🤝

P.S. I discovered a new emoji today: this 🧠 represents a brain and indicates that your staff is intelligent, adaptable, and emotionally aware!

24/10/2023

In the video is a golden carp - he's pretty hard to spot because of all the others around him, but he's in there. It resonated with me as a ginger-haired boy, but also because it's the unique elements that need to be valued and encouraged.

The role of leadership has never been more crucial as change accelerates. The notion that all leaders should fit a cookie-cutter mould is past: individual and authentic leadership styles are the secret sauce that can elevate your company and your teams to new heights. When you empower managers to be their authentic selves, you're unleashing creativity, innovation, and engagement.

Authenticity is the currency of trust. When we lead with authenticity, the connection with the team transcends mere professional respect. These managers become relatable mentors, creating openness and trust. That trust fosters commitment and loyalty, resulting in teams that aren't just productive but passionate about their work.

Coaching helps to identify and bring forth the unique set of strengths, experiences and qualities in the individual, enabling them to embrace their individual leadership style. So if you want a stronger, more resilient organisation that values innovation and inclusion, get in touch.

26/09/2023

Who is great at self-compassion? Is anyone an 8 or a 9 out of 10? For most if not all of my clients, including me, it's something of a struggle. A history of motivation through drivers like duty, guilt, not being lazy, and sometimes simply a low regard for self lies behind it.

I've been playing with some questions of late around the subject, which resonate variously with my clients, so I'll share a spectrum for you to consider:

1. What are the stories I regularly play in my head? Which of these doesn't support me, that I can reinterpret?

2. What's one feeling I've been having a hard time feeling?

3. What makes my heart sing?

4. What is stopping me from being kind to myself?

5. How would I like to feel today?

Each of them either involves further understanding of what I'm / my client is working through, or it involves a choice. Both clarity and choice help bring a measure of control, which itself can lead to greater calm.

Being kind to yourself can feel unfamiliar and even unnatural. Why not pick one question that feels easiest to reflect upon, and go from there.

22/09/2023

I coach because it makes a difference to my clients' lives. Whether that's to bring clarity around career direction, managing the sources of stress better, or simply as a sounding board to navigate the challenges we face.

My client kindly took the time to provide some feedback, from which I'd point to the importance of his comment about being "[given] the space to figure it out myself". This is the difference between lasting impact, and the kind of instruction that frankly doesn't help create a transformation.

In his case, he was "unable to make a decision to change career to take a new path, unable to take that leap of faith, and now I actually took that leap of faith with a big smile, and I'm very happy I did it." Change takes bravery, but it is possible - especially with support.

If you are looking for support to help you figure out what really matters to you, to move into action, to build your insight - please let me know. And if you're unsure - how about a free session with me to see if it's for you?

19/09/2023

A client mentioned that a lot of things had happened since we last spoke, both good and bad. It triggered in my mind the quote: "There is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so" - Hamlet, Act 2, Scene 2. What does it mean for there to be nothing good nor bad, but for things to be made good or bad by how we think about them?

Labelling events as "good" or "bad" neither helps our ability to control them, nor learn from them. The act of labelling events may actually get in the way of our ability to do so, creating a barrier to a more peaceful and happy life. I am all in favour of sitting with emotions - anger, resentment, grief, sadness - to understand them better, rather than simplistic and superficial characterisation. The progressive here is what you will do and take from the emotion.

I have found this sorely tested by the loss of my father this year, but I am now starting to take a
greater appreciation of what it means to love and connect, besides feeling the grief, which I hope will shape the way I behave going forwards. It is one small measure of control that I take comfort from.

It is not an easy practice. If you would like help in changing your mindset for greater control and learning, let me know.

12/09/2023

Why do we do what we do? What is it that shapes our emotions, the way we act, the quality of life, and the path we go down? Tony Robbins talks of six human needs - Certainty, Uncertainty / Variety, Significance, Connection / Love, Growth and Contribution - which I've fleshed out a little to help me understand my own core drivers.

We all prioritise differently, and these priorities change through life. For me at present, the relative Top 3 order is as follows:

1) Control: Robbins talks about "certainty", but my expression of this is "control." I like to have the illusion of security, and to see my ability to shape the world more like it "ought" to be.

2) Empathy: this is my take on "Connection / Love", where I feel I have a limited amount of emotional energy to expend. I am happiest spending this in small groups or one on one where others both need to be understood, and are wanting to invest their energy in me. It's reciprocal, rather than those relationships where you feel drained.

3) Contribution: this is my slow burn gratification that meets my innate need to contribute to the world around me. It's interesting that this is one that I've had mixed consistency in applying within my life, and perhaps is less jarring when I am not acting upon it compared with other needs. I wonder if dips in my satisfaction with life have coincided somewhat with a drop in my contribution to the greater good.

Why is it important to know your drivers? When I act in alignment with my core needs I am not only in better shape emotionally, it becomes easier. Questions of motivation are more readily manageable, and less pronounced. Unwelcome emotions like self-pity and self-righteousness are less common for me.

By understanding your core drivers, you can tune up your life one action at a time. It has helped me to understand my own life purpose, and make changes accordingly. Periodically we receive wake up calls that this is our one shot at life: make sure you are consciously designing and living your best one, not bobbing down the river.

24/08/2023

What matters enough? The picture was my (very poorly drawn) vision of what my life's work is about: being a role model for my daughters, celebrating connection, making an impact in my community, and celebrating connection. In my work, that means coaching with all my heart.

When I win a corporate client, I also offer pro bono coaching / management training to charities that could otherwise not afford it. It has allowed me to coach CEOs and leaders from AgeUK, National Circus, Hope & Homes for Children, British Hedgehogs Preservation Society, DataKind, and more.

Whilst it is not financially easy, I am closer today to the vision of Alex that I drew that day than I have ever been. It feels scary, but also immensely empowering to be on a journey of my conscious choosing.

If you know of a charity that may benefit from this kind of support - executive 121 coaching or management training - please let me know because I would be delighted to help.

15/08/2023

Like many, I move from achieving a goal very quickly onto the next thing. It can be an exhausting way to live.

With my clients, I encourage them to celebrate and I celebrate what they have achieved. It helps them believe in themselves, develop confidence, and a healthy pride. That's important proof that we are learning and growing in life, whatever our inner critics are telling us.

So today I want to share my pride in myself for having 154.25 hours of coaching under my belt, ranging from CEOs all the way through to graduates. I know I should have celebrated 150, but I didn't catch up on my admin until just now!

I am acknowledging my capability and the value that I bring to my clients. I am proudest where I have pushed myself, specifically where I have coached CEOs despite my initial (self-limiting) assumption that I might only be able to coach up to the level I reached in the corporate world.

I'm also proud of bouncing back from various disappointments - my ability to more quickly catch the inner saboteur in me, and see the opportunity or gift in every situation.

So tonight, I will be having a celebration with a friend, and I'll be celebrating me. I wonder as I type this the last time I did that, if ever. Ground breaking!

What steps have you made towards larger goals, that you need to acknowledge yourself for?

11/08/2023

Unspotted opportunities, a loss of proactivity, and the sense of closed doors. Last year I had a client with imposter-like feelings who told me that a colleague of hers was being put forward for promotion rather than her because she was too good at her job.

That really hit me as a coach, both with sadness (for her situation) and anger (at her boss). My client had seen the job, but hadn't felt she ticked all the boxes so she didn't object. The little saboteur voice in her head was so ingrained: "You can't. You're not good enough. They're better than you anyway."

Today she is able to anticipate these voices, what they say, what they sound like, and recognise them for what they are. She can fight feelings with evidence. She can take stock and focus on the facts. And she knows to share the feelings with someone if further validation is required. But it took work to change, and the prospect of change is scary: it's also when our saboteurs come out the strongest.

Are you tired enough of your own inner saboteurs yet? Are you missing opportunities or perhaps not even seeing them because of their action? I know it takes bravery to confront, but I have yet to meet someone that sees a lifetime of it as a good option. If it affects you, take just one step today by getting in touch.

P.S. Yes, the lady in the photo looks like she has it all under control, but that's not always what is going on inside.

08/08/2023

How often do we drive ourselves into the ground? I know a number of clients (and myself!) that just won't stop: we keep pushing on because we think we have to, and we berate ourselves when we fall short of our targets.

Many of the same clients (and me!) have pretty high targets that we're aiming for. Sometimes it's a promotion, sometimes it's a salary, sometimes it's to be the very best parent they can be.

My learning this week is to be ambitious but also appreciative of the progress. I read an EY post which phrased it better than I can:

"I must be relentless and determined and retain a sense of perspective and balance."

I now see it's not either / or: I can be both. Relentless AND have balance.

Our assumptions sometimes do not serve us. If you'd like a chat about where you find yourself stuck, we can develop a new mindset that is both authentic and powerful for you. Just drop me a line for a free hour to get this moving.

27/07/2023

Client feedback: "It's been completely transformational of my lifestyle, my health, my wellbeing, my work: everything is just in a happier place."

Hannah was my very first ever client, who I got in contact with as part of an offer of support through International Women's Month in March 2022. I remember feeling nervous as I waited for Hannah to join the Zoom room that first time, questioning whether I would be able to help her with how she wanted to be helped.

This week we had a chat about her experience of coaching with me. It was lovely to catch up, but also it has proved to be a useful boost of my why. It reinforces for me that some tough decisions - like quitting my banking analytics career - are necessary if we are to change up our lives.

Overall, I'm just feeling grateful today. I'm grateful for the trust that my clients place in me, for the teachings that my own coaches and instructors have supported me with, and the faith that my wife has had in me that has let me change course to something that really makes me fulfilled.

# burnout