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Astley Cross FC, Astley Cross, Stourport-on-Severn, Stourport (2026)

04/09/2021

Teetering on the edge of postponement our first competitive game will go ahead tomorrow at the fortress that is Wilden Cricket Club. We start our first campaign in Kidderminster & district league Division 2 and expect Withymore to be a tough test.
UTC!

18/06/2021

Result:
Wyre Forest (3) - (4) Astley Cross

Our temporary Home pitch, Wolverly high school, was the venue for this one against the technically new Wyre Forest Sunday team. The division one newbies were desperate to try and tame the mighty Cross so the match was organised on a Wednesday. The smell of rivalry was in the air as their were many familiar faces in forest's squad. Full of attacking talent, the cross weren't worried as they had recruited a new magician to play up front by the name of Bynxy.

A couple missing, Shucky Had to listen to his dad's New EP before release "Astley Cross's Sweet Dreams". Kie B abided to the dangerous to gingers weather warning. Nonetheless a good squad to give a good game.

The match got under way and the first 10 minutes resembled a typical Sunday morning as if half the squad had Jagerbomb legs. The Cross really didn't get going and a decent freekick whipped in from forest made its way into the Cross's net off a head. (1-0)

This seemed to have slapped the lads into shape and the next 25 mins we're confident and steady creating a good few chances. Forest's best chance during this period was a decent strike from Leo picked out the bottom right corner by Bobo. A goal came from the number 10 maestro Kiko Hollylee who stuck a freekick in the keepers side around the wall. (1-1)

Things went a bit pear shaped and the cross got a bit too comfortable in the last 10 minutes letting through Ex Astley Cross player Jord Graham twice. Both caused by Cross errors. First, Using his pace down the right to get through our defence and slotting it past Bobo. For their third we didn't clear our lines well enough and the big bounce did the on rushing Bobo's midget frame which let Jord through on goal. A big shock to the system at half time. (3-1)

The Gareth Southgate apprentice, M Dizzle, summoned the Fergie hairdryer and made a couple tweaks at half time to shut down the confident opposition.

The second half was a vast improvement on the first half and Forest weren't able to create as much in the middle of the park. Cross dominating and having the vast majority of chances. Jai producing a sublime second half performance slotted through the forest back line to Bynx who fired it past the Forest keeper. 3-2

Bobo who had spent the week booting mole hills down Barnfield to get his kicking up to scratch. Sent a free kick deep into the Forest half onto Bynx's head who flicked it through to Luke wheats who slotted it home (3-3). Game on.

The breakthrough came when Luke Hollylee sent a freekick deep towards a shakey Forest defence which bounced through everyone even the keeper. 3-4. A miraculous comeback for the Cross lads who showed a lot of fight to get the lead, Quality.

Game management saw out the last 15 minutes as fitness was always the biggest threat to the Cross's lead against Forest. There seemed to be a cramp pandemic spreading throughout the team during this time which was a bit of a relief as the lads had a well deserved breather in between. The game ended 3-4 in favour of Astley cross FC who saw off Div 1 side Wyre Forest for the second time, UTC.

A very good performance from the Cross lads in the second half. Loads of stand out performances and a very tough pick for man of the match. The lads voted for Kiko Hollylee as the best player on the pitch. Well deserved, Top class.

UP THE CROSS and UP THE ENGLAND

15/06/2021

UTC🟣

28/05/2021

This Sunday we play Stourport Swift’s Sunday team who are in prem division, it’s going to be a tough game for the lads but we are hoping to carry on the good form we have been on. The bar will be open so come down to the swift’s and support the lads. UTC🟣

12/05/2021

Sunday 9th Titan FC
Titan FC 3-0
Very frustrating game for the lads on Sunday. Could not get a foot on the ball and a strong team like Titan took their chances. Some good moments for the lads but not good enough throughout the game.

Wednesday 12th Kingswinford Sporting
Astley Cross FC 5-3
A very good team in k’ford sporting they’ve played 29 league games in total without any losses. We knew it was gonna be a hard battle today and it was. All the lads turned up and switched it on from the off. Letting the lead slip twice we found ourselves 3-2 down with 20 minutes left persistent pressure and a penalty we managed to turn it around and take home the win. A MOTM debut for Jord Graham scoring 4!

04/05/2021

Result:
Jeremy Kyle FC (2) - (1) Hinksford Harriers

Fortunately, it was bank holiday so most of the boys planned on getting rat arsed on sunday rather than the night before. As the pubs received their deliveries of Jagermeister and barrels of fosters, the boys took on an unknown outfit, Hinsford harriers.

Hinksford Harriers seemed to have the bit between their teeth. They were out of the blocks fast, hunting down the cross boys who seemed confused at being sober on a Sunday morning. We conceded first after after starting slower than the Stourport steamer after a year off. A well worked goal by Hinksford. 0-1

A pretty poor first half of football from both teams, no real chances created apart from the Hinksford goal. The cross boys couldn't get the ball down and build the play up to a chance.

The most exciting thing to happen in the first half was a Hinksford throw into the box causing a clash of heads. Mikey Cox on the wrong end of the challenge, causing his eye to fall out. No doubt planning on using this as an excuse for a free drink in the evening as he popped it back in...

Half time came around and M Dizzle got his Babyliss out. The boys had a rollicking and decided it was best to get the ball down and do what we do best.

The tale of the wingers. Second half, the cross boys started sharp and the midfield linked up well to get the wingers involved. The defence was solid and also very much involved in the chance creation. Shucky starting the first goal running around like Dani alves in Crocs, dummying himself and 2 Hinksford players carrying the cross up the pitch. Macca white playing out of his skin to get in the match report. Receiving the ball from the left, Macca whipped a no look cross which was bundled in by the onrushing P Head.
1-1

A great fightback from the Cross boys was rewarded with a goal after hinksfords penalty area became Pinball mania. A cross hit the Shrawley sheep abuser, Jim Parker on the back of the head. Kept in well by P head, down to Matt W who's first shot was cleared off the line, banged it in on the second attempt.

P head managed to dent the bar with a pile driver late on and Fin Smith may aswell of put on a Hinksford shirt after a horrendous volley/defensive clearence...

Matt Wheatcroft pips the MOTM as he inspired a comeback after taking control of the midfield in the second half. Well done Wheaty.

An eventful bank holiday celebration for the Cross boys after chaos erupted down the Swift's ground. The stourportian siege is over between rivals. Now the dust has settled we should listen the the wise words of DJ Shucky.

"Everyone calm down, 1 more song, come on guys"

27/04/2021

Result 25/04/21:
Black Country United FC (0) vs Astley Cross FC (3)

The first weekend after Bozza opened the floodgates of the golden nectar, the cross boys suffered a 4-0 defeat to prem high flyers Pockets on the 18th. Although matching them at points, they proved very tough and took their chances well, more punishing than the previous nights jaegerbombs... From the top to the bottom division we welcomed peacock to King Charles and won 5-1. A very dominant performance from the Cross boys and it could've been many more as Callum perks had other ideas... First rule of Daddy daycare is to finish what's on your plate so Callum became the biggest hipocrite of the evening and missed 6 sitters. The once Coventry city prodigy has swapped shooting drills for wheelie bins and nappies which is really showing.

On Sunday we travelled to black country United with 15 players out. Most notably Callum perks who put away more champagne bottles the night before than the goals he scored on Wednesday. He then proceeded to leave the team without a striker... Which was unsuprising to many. A solution was underway as M Dizzle (mini Pep) went to the car and quickly selected false 9 on his Xbox controller skipping past Tiki taka as it sounds like a s**t cocktail from the Lodge.

The match got underway with Nappa up top for the first time. The other team were too focused on trying to rope in a keeper they forgot the match balls and proceeded to play with balloons. The wind was against us but the lads weren't phased, stayed solid and kept the ball down with plenty of possession.

0-1
Matty Wheats won back possession on the half way line, played through the self proclaimed Dani alves, shucky. Alves subsequently put a cross field ball into the path of Luke wheats who fired it across goal to be smashed home by Nappa. A very good team goal by the Cross.

Other than Alves getting into a car accident with a bus down the right wing and Bobo being RKOd 10 seconds late after claiming a threw ball, the game was under control and not too rough. Matty wheats again with another assist, he claims... Playing through Nappa who fired a shot, outside the box, which bounced through the keeper. The opposition keeper crossed the touchline 10 minutes late and must have forgot to pick up his hands by the front door before leaving. 0-2.

In the second half the cross were still dominant but Black country having more of the ball than they did in the first half. Nappa found himself through early on with a 1 on 1 with the keeper who didn't make an attempt to challenge him, so he smashed it home. 0-3

A solid performance from the cross boys who saw appearances from the Gaffa himself, our resident Lino Finley and our very own twinkle toed kingfisher.

MOTM goes to Nappa. A very good performance adapting to a new position. Also taking home one of the party balloons the other team brought with them, he definitely deserved it.

11/04/2021

Result:
Wyre Forest 0 - 1 Astley Cross

Brown West Head park was our venue to take on unbeaten division 1 high flyers Wyre Forest. Ernie Pyke lurking in the bushes checking out the new sides for the upcoming 21/22 season in September.

A stressful week for Astley across FCs management team, with a number of injuries and players who couldn't make it. Lanky lump of lard Jim Parker out. Luke hollylee's glass ankle was shattered by the news of a big game, out. Matt round currently growing a new leg, out. Josh tristram, ankle, strained overusing the combine harvester, out. Fortunately Luke Wheatcroft delayed his Easter miracle and woke up with a fully healed ankle... a blessing indeed. Callum perks gave himself a pep talk took some Calpol and managed to turn up after being 50/50.

Special mention the Fin Smith who lost his lino flags and spent all day and night looking for them and gave football a miss due to the shame he'd face (the real reason is far more horrendous).

CEO has been asked to step down, nothing more to say on that matter. Still yet to make a statement.

The conditions were a stark difference to last Sunday. The snow fell on a new formation for the cross conjured up by Pep Guardiola mark 2, M Dizzle. This left Wyre Forest scratching their heads as the cross started very strong.

The battle for middle of the ring was won early on and that set the tone for the rest of the match. Both teams battled well with good link up play and a couple breakthroughs for the cross. In general the cross were on top with forest not being able to create much bar a Luke Morris one on one saved by Bobo.

After putting his big noggin to good use, Matt Wheatcroft won nearly everything in the centre of the park. It seemed he had enough of the defensive header and stuck one in Forest's net. The big return of John Arne Riise wannabe, Kie B, spanked in a great freekick front post finding wheats. 1-0.

The boys didn't let up the relentless battling in the second half and dealt with every bit of pressure Forest had to give. Nappa shredded through a new pair of boots with numerous monk like challenges. Good link up play by the lads got us up the pitch a good few times to only p*e role a few opportunities to the opposition keeper.

Bobo's ankle fell off after being speared while claiming a cross by opposition winger Jord Graham. Dizzle had a tough decision... Unfortunately Pip Davies was looking for fins Lino flags... Berty, wheatcrofts puppy didn't bring a pair of boots. Which left 4th choice keeper Will cook to slip on the gloves while Bobo's injury was assessed. 10 minutes went by and juicebox jake reattached his ankle which meant he could be subbed back on, massive relief for the kingfisher.

A forest goal was ruled out after goal line beat down led to a foul on Bobo. Callum perks with the best chance of the second half coming close with a turn and half volley.

All in all an absolutely cracking effort from every single player today, very hard to even choose a Man of the match. The cross defied expectations and proved a worthy competitor to Forest. Credit to Wyre Forest who were a very good test for us and it was in general a very good game to play in and watch.

MOTM: Mikey Cox, solid all throughout the game, commanded his back line very well and didn't put a foot wrong.

10/04/2021

Fixture:
Wyre Forest vs Astley Cross FC
Brown Westhead Park - Kick off 9:30am Sunday 12th of April.

This will be a tough test for the Cross lads against a star studded Wyre forest side. Forest unbeaten before Ernie reenacted a Boris style lockdown on the Kiddy league for the second time. let's see if we can give a big performance in our last sober Sunday morning match before the future Saturday night onslaught of Jägermeister and fosters.

Previous Result:
Astley Cross (2) vs Worcester Athletic (3)

After a few months of hibernation, the cross took a game against unknown Worcester Athletic on Easter Sunday. Exchanging chocolate eggs for a 50/50, we rocked up at our temporary ground Droitwich Leisure center. Some players were missing after somehow getting injured while watching Netflix... Most notably James Parker who was reported to have shin splints after 2 footing sheep in Shrawley out of frustration after our previous result... CP turning up with a bad lower back after 4 months of daddy day care. Excited about the new linesman flags, Fin Smith had much more to be joyful about with a start up front. Fourth choice Goalkeeper after Bobo, Pip Davies and Wheatcroft's new dog Berty Will Cook put on a Purple shirt on to the shock of many even the opposition.

The Cross started strong and organized with the majority or possession but after 200 deflection in the box, the ball rolled over the line... Bit of misfortune. This was put right after Jordy pinged a diagonal ball in the direction of Fin smith. Running away from the big scary defenders it hit Fin on the shin pad and rolled past the onrushing GK. To everyone's surprise the arm didn't come up for offside it was up in celebration! 1-1.

The Cross lost their shape a bit and this gave Worcester's best player space to ping one top bins, the previous nights beers and small stature didn't allow Bobo to get anywhere near it... 1-2. Fitness started to take its toll in the second half but the cross kept possession well and had a few opportunities more than the opposition. Another great finish from the worcester forward made it 1-3 but the cross kept up their battling nature and made it 2-3 with 15 minutes to go. An identical ball from the right side like the first goal cut open Worcester's defence by Matty Wheats and found the lesser of the Holylees, Luke, who produced a calm and composed finish.

The most interesting part of the match was when the kingfisher crossed the white line. When asked, where are you playing, Bill's response was "Not sure". Adopting the free role and dancing around like pirlo in the sun, Bill surprised many with a good effort.

The stand out performance was Nappa who got the MOTM accolade. Top class.

28/12/2020

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